


Impetuous Desire

by CapaldiCrazy



Series: The Desire Series [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Professor/Student, Angst, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 20:22:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 45,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17710934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapaldiCrazy/pseuds/CapaldiCrazy
Summary: What happens when a rash woman finds herself attracted to her equally rash professor? Can they control their urges or will they succumb to their impetuous desires?





	1. Chapter 1

The ringing of a phone interrupted the peaceful sleep of Clara Oswald.  She reached out from under her covers and moved her hand around the bedside table, searching for her phone.  Finally, her hand came into contact with it and she grabbed it as she opened her eyes to see who was waking her from the loveliest dream.

“Agh, dad.”  She said as she answered it and glanced at her alarm clock.  “It’s 5 in the morning.”

“Sorry darling.”  He answered.  “I couldn’t remember which city you said you're in right now.  Listen, I’m calling because I thought you should know that I’ve taken your Gran to the A and E.”

“What?  Why?”  Clara asked panicked.

“She was having chest pains.  The doctor is with her now and is examining her.”  He paused and sighed before he said what he wanted to say next.  “Clara, I really think it’s time you came home.”

Clara had been traveling since she dropped out of university 8 years ago.  She had been home for the occasional visit, but wouldn’t stay for much longer than a week as she began to feel restless and wanted to move again.  Her father had been trying to convince her for the last few years to move back to London and settle down, but she kept telling him that there were too many places she had left to visit.  She wasn’t ready to return home and she certainly wasn’t ready to get married and start a family.

“Dad, how bad is it?”  Clara asked worriedly.

“I'm not sure Clara, but she's not getting any younger.  What time you have left with her is getting shorter with each passing day.”  Her father sighed heavily, and Clara knew that he was getting frustrated with her.  “Look if you don’t want to move back, at least come home and see her.”

“Okay.  I’ll book the first flight I can.”

“Great.  Just let me know what time you land and I'll meet you at the airport.”

“Okay dad.  Give my love to Gran and tell her I'll see her very soon.”

Clara ended her call and laid back down in bed gathering her thoughts.  She knew her dad was right, her Gran wasn't going to be here forever, but she didn't think she was ready to start putting down roots.

“Everything okay?”  

Clara looked next to her to see a man lying there with his eyes still closed.  She had completely forgotten that she wasn’t alone.  Now if she could only remember what his name was.

“Hope so.  I need to go back to London.”  She answered still unable to recall his name.  The previous night was flashing before her, the bar, the drinks, the dancing, the snogging, all of which led to the shagging, but no name.  “It’s a bit of an emergency so I’m going to have to leave today.”

“No worries.  I should probably get going anyway.”  The man said as he finally opened his eyes and looked at her.  “Any chance I could get your number?  Maybe we can hook up again when you return.”  

“Oh, that’s sweet, but to be honest I don’t think I’m going to be coming back.”  Clara answered as she got out of bed, grabbing her robe laying on a chair.

“Really?  Sorry to hear that.  I had a lot of fun with you last night.”  He answered as he too got out of bed and started searching for his clothes that had clearly been tossed around the room.

“It was and for sure if I’m ever in San Francisco again, I’ll look you up.”

“That might be difficult since, we never exchanged names.”  He said, flashing her a perfect smile.  Clara gave a sigh of relief as she knew she had been drinking, but by no means enough to actually forget someone’s name.

“Right.  Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay.”  The man replied now dressed.  “I’ll be on my way then.”

Clara walked him to the front door, thanking him again for a lovely night and sending him out into the early morning streets of the Mission District.  Once he was gone she went to the kitchen to make some coffee and to start searching for flights on her phone.  She needed to find something fast, which she knew was likely going to cost her a small fortune.  However, she felt confident that her dad would pay her back given the circumstances.  She was also going to have to leave her flat mate with enough money to cover rent for the next month.

Later that morning with her bags packed, Clara stepped out of her little flat and made her way to the airport.  She was going to miss San Francisco.  It had a really great vibe and she had managed to make some friends, given the short time she had been there.  But there was part of her that was looking forward to going back home.  She really missed her Dad and Gran, but she also missed her best friend Amy.  It would be great to see her and catch up since the last time she saw her was over a year ago in Scotland for her wedding.  The more she thought about it, the more she convinced herself that this was a good thing.

\------------

“Clara!”  

Clara looked in the direction she heard her name and saw a man waving frantically at her with a huge smile.  She smiled and waved back as she walked towards him and wrapped her arms around him.

“Dad!”  She exclaimed.  “It's so good to see you.”

“You too luv.”  He replied as he grabbed one of her bags and they started walking towards the exit.

“How's Gran?”  Clara asked worriedly.

“She's doing better, but she's going to be in the hospital for awhile.  She is very excited to see you, so I hope you don't mind if we go there first.”

“Not at all.  I'm anxious to see her.”

The pair caught up while they drove.  Clara told her dad all about America and what it was like in San Francisco.  Her dad told her about his work and brought her up to date on the family gossip.  When they got to the hospital, Clara was surprised to see her Gran looking so fragile.  She was always a very strong and independent woman who very rarely needed help from anyone.  They didn't stay long, but Clara promised to come back and visit once she got some rest and they would be able to have a proper talk.

Once she got back to her dad’s she called Amy.  She hadn't had a chance to let her know she was coming back, so she knew her friend was going to be shocked.

“Well it's about time you rang!”  Amy said as she answered the phone.

“Hello to you too.”  Clara answered.

“I've been trying to talk to you for weeks and you never return my calls.”

“I know.  I'm just the worst.”

“Yes you are.  So before you tell me about your latest shag and what fantastic city you're living in, I have news.”

“Would you rather tell me this news in person?”

“What?  Really!?  Are you saying you're in London?”  Amy asked excitedly.

“I am.”

“Then what are you waiting for?  Get your arse over here now!”  Amy ordered.

“Okay.”  Clara replied as she laughed.  “I just need to have a quick nap and I'll be over in a couple of hours.”

After a nap and a shower, Clara headed out to see her best friend.  She had met Amy in high school, when her family moved from Scotland to London and the pair became fast friends who were pretty much inseparable until Clara left home 8 years ago.  It was going to be good to see her and to hopefully get to know her husband, Rory, a bit better while she was home.

“Ahhhh!”  Amy screamed when she opened the door and saw Clara.  Clara immediately hugged her and screamed in return.

“Get in here.”  Amy said as she dragged her inside the house.

Clara entered and glanced around looking for Rory.

“Where’s your husband?”  She asked.

“He ran away knowing that we would have a lot to catch up on, but he promises to hang with us later.”  Amy said as she stepped into the kitchen.  “Can I get you anything to drink?”

“God yes.  I would love a glass of wine.”  Clara said as she took in the quaint surroundings.  “Better make it a bottle, we have a lot to talk about.”

“Well I won’t be having any.”  Amy said.

“What?  Why?”  Clara looked at her friend who was smiling at her. 

“I told you I had news.”  

“Your news is that you’ve given up drinking?”

“No, you daft idiot.  I’m pregnant!”  Amy declared.

“Oh my god!”  Clara exclaimed and hugged her friend.  “You’re going to be a mum!”

“I know!  Who would have thought that would ever happen?”  Amy said as she started to put the kettle on for tea.

“So how far a long are you?”  Clara asked.

“Not long.  I’m only about 8 weeks, so we’re not telling many people.  But you had to know.”

“Well I feel honored.”

“I’ll be honest, I was kind of hoping that you would hear the news and you would want to come home, but now I’m hoping you’ll want to stay.”

“Not you too.”  Clara sighed.  “My dad’s been on me to move home too.”

“It’s only because we love and miss you.  Plus, if ever there was a time I needed my best friend more, it’s now.”

“I don’t know Amy.”

“Why are you home now, anyway?  Not that I’m complaining, but you usually give me a warning when you’re returning.”

Clara explained to Amy about her Gran before they moved into the living room where Clara went on to tell Amy about the places she had traveled to since she was last home. She talked about skydiving in Tijuana, mountain climbing in Nepal, and scuba diving in Australia, not to mention the men she had met along the way.

“Any of these men ever decide to travel with you?”  Amy asked.

“One guy, Matt, did for a bit.  I met him while I was in Japan and we traveled together for a few months, but then he decided he wanted to stay in Australia and I wanted to head to California.”

“And you have no desire to settle down?”

“Nah.  There’s just too much to see Amy.  Too much to experience.”  Clara replied.  “I’m not going to make the same mistake my mum did.”

“You think getting married and having you was a mistake?”

“No, of course not.  But she died before she got to see the world, and I know how much she wanted to see it.”  There was a distant look in Clara’s eyes as she spoke.  “I know that she would have wanted me to finish uni, but when she died I just couldn’t.  I wanted to live the life she didn’t get to.”

“And what about the life you wanted to live?  You wanted to teach.”

“And I have been.  I’ve taught in almost every place I’ve been too.”  Clara answered, almost defensively.

“But you wanted to teach here.  You wanted to get married, have kids.  You were never the one to jump from relationship to relationship.”

“I know, but I changed.  You don’t know what it’s like to lose a parent Amy.  Suddenly the things I was interested in no longer mattered.”  Clara stated.  “I stood in front of my mother’s grave and suddenly saw my whole life ahead of me and I didn’t like what I saw.  I knew that if I stayed, I would have continued dating Danny and I would have most likely ended up marrying him.  But that wasn’t what I wanted.  Suddenly, I wanted to see the world.  And not just see it, but live it.”

“And don’t you think you’ve done that?  Maybe your dad is right.  It seems like this might be a good time to stick around for a while.  I know I would love to have you here with me and your Gran would likely love to see you more.”  

“Maybe.”  Clara said hesitantly.

“Why don’t you give it a year.  Finish your degree.  You only had one year left and then you could do the one thing I know your mum wanted.  She would have wanted you to finish school Clara.”

“I know.”  Clara answered.  “I’ll think about it okay.”

“That’s all I can ask for.”  Amy smiled at her friend. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the positive feed back about the first chapter :) Hope this one interests you enough to keep reading. Enjoy!

Clara was walking down the street after leaving Amy and Rory's house.  Rory had come home with Chinese food and insisted that Clara stay for dinner, so she did, wanting the opportunity to get to know her friend's husband better.  She liked him and thought he was a good match for Amy, helping her to see the logic when her dreams became a little too large some times.  She could also see how happy he made her and how much they both loved each other.  She was happy that Amy seemed to have everything she had ever wanted and that life was going well for her, but she couldn’t help but feel a little sad and she wasn’t entirely sure why.  

She spotted a pub, the Royal George, that she used to go to when she was in university and thought that she would pop in for one drink, just to see if the place had changed much.  Once she walked in, she saw that not one single thing had changed in the eight years since she had likely been there.  It still had the same stained wall paper, tacky beer posters, poorly lit booths, pool table, and dart boards in the back.  There was something comforting about this place as she remembered the many nights, she, Amy and their other flat mate, Rose had spent there.  She grabbed a seat at the end of the bar and ordered a pint, pulling out her phone to check her messages, but of course there was nothing.  The bartender set her drink in front of her and she took a sip.  A smile came across her face as she realized just how much she missed a good English ale, something that was impossible to find in America.  As she was setting the glass down, she noticed a couple of men also sitting at the bar near her.  They were both quite handsome, one looked to be about 45, thin, chiseled cheek bones, dark messy hair, and a slight five o’clock shadow.  The other man, sitting closest to her, looked older, maybe in his mid-fifties, also thin, salt and pepper curly hair, and was wearing a pair of horned rimmed glasses.  She happened to catch the eye of the younger man, who smiled at her, causing the older man to turn towards her.  She smiled back and then looked down at her phone, trying to not draw attention to herself.

“Hi.”  The younger man said.

Clara looked up again to see that he was talking to her.  “Hi.”

“You look like a woman of good taste, maybe you can help my friend and I solve an argument.”

Clara knew a pick-up line from a mile away and wasn’t really in the mood to be chatted up, but they were both cute, so she thought she’d play along.

“I can try.”  She said.

“I think the Proclaimers are one of the greatest bands of our time and he disagrees.  What do you think?”

“I think your friend is right.”  She answered.

The older man smiled at her retort and she thought he had a nice smile.  

"Ouch.”  The younger man replied.  “Looks like you and him have shite taste in music.”

“I doubt that if your idea of a good band is that one hit wonder.”  She replied.

The older man laughed and nearly spit his beer out as he was taking a drink.  “She makes a valid point.”  He said.

Scottish.  They were both Scottish, but there was something about the voice of the older one that just made Clara feel slightly aroused.  She really wasn’t in the mood to be chatted up, but she wouldn’t mind talking to the older man.  As luck would have it, the younger man’s phone rang so he excused himself from the bar and walked outside to answer it.

“Sorry about my friend there.”  The older man said to her.

“It’s okay.  I just wanted to give him a hard time because he is really bad at chatting women up if that’s what he was trying to do.”  She answered taking a sip of her beer.

“He really is.”  He smiled at her.  “I’ll make sure he stops bothering you.”

“That’s okay.  I’ve enjoyed the distraction.” 

“Job or relationship?” He asked.

“Pardon?”

“It’s got to be one or the other that you need distracting from.”  He said. 

“Neither actually.”  Clara answered.  She wasn’t sure what it was about this man, but she suddenly felt like pouring her heart out to him.  “I’m at a cross roads between heart and mind and I’m not sure what to do.”

“What does your heart tell you to do?”  He asked.

“To do what I’ve been doing for the last eight years, travel.”

“And the mind?”  He asked.

“Stay.  Which is what my family and friends want me to do and I really don’t want to disappoint them, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to move back.”

“Let me ask you, how often have you been home since you’ve been gone?”

Before Clara could answer, the man’s friend returned and she found herself feeling disappointed.  She didn’t typically share so much with strangers, but there was something about this man that made her want to tell him her life story.

“Sorry about that mate.”  The younger man said as he sat back down and started drinking what was left of his pint.  “I’ve gotta run, but I’ll meet you in the hotel lobby tomorrow morning, okay.”  He then turned and looked at Clara.  “I hope you get a chance to improve your taste in music.”

“And the same to you.”  Clara answered, causing another smile from his friend.

“You’re a cheeky one.  I like it.”  He said before he clapped his friend on the shoulder bidding him goodbye.

“Good friends?”  She asked the older man.

“Not really.”  He replied as he took a drink of his beer.  “So, you didn’t answer my question.”

“What question was that again?”  She asked being coy.

“How often have you been home?”

“Oh right.  You were trying to help me solve my problem.”  She smiled at him.  “I don’t know, maybe six or seven times.”

“An average of once a year.”  He said a matter of fact.

“I guess so.”

“Perhaps what your family and friends would like, is to see you more often.”  

“Are you some kind of shrink or something?”  She asked, knowing that he was likely right.

“Nah.  Just a man who's been where you are.”

“And what choice did you make, heart or logic?”  She asked as she took a drink.

“Heart.  I've always followed my heart.”  He smiled at her, causing a rush of heat to flow through her body.

The two strangers finished their drinks and Clara decided to be a little bold and offer to buy the handsome man another.  He accepted and they continued chatting, mostly about traveling.  Clara learned that they had been to some of the same places, and had similar tastes when it came to adventure.  They finished their second round of drinks, when the man motioned to the bartender for another.  The more Clara chatted with him, the more attracted she was getting to him.  She started watching his lips when he spoke and imagined what it might be like to kiss them, what they might taste like.  She reached her hand out and laid it on his knee, pretending as if she didn’t even notice she had done it.  He briefly glanced down and smiled, which made Clara’s heart flutter.  She was so taken by this man that she didn’t even realize she hadn’t asked what his name was.  More drinks were bought until the bartender called last call and Clara could tell that the man was as equally disappointed as her that the night was coming to an end.  

“How are you getting home?”  He asked as they stepped out onto the street.

“I’m not far from here, so I think I’ll just walk.”  Clara answered as she stumbled and the man grabbed her shoulders to steady her.  

“You sure?  I can get you a cab.”  He offered still holding her.

Clara once again found herself mesmerized by his lips and didn’t even realize that she had licked her own.  

“You have really nice lips.”  She said, clearly the alcohol had removed the filter between her thoughts and her mouth.

“Thanks.”  He smiled.  “You do too.”

“Do they taste as good as they look?”  Seriously, what was wrong with her brain!  Before she had a chance to apologize for her stupid remark, the man moved closer.

“Want to find out?”  He asked and before Clara had a chance to answer she felt his lips on hers.

At first the kiss was hesitant, both of them unsure of what the other wanted or how far this kiss was going to go.  His lips were as soft as they looked and fit to hers as if they were a missing puzzle piece.  Clara wanted more.  She grabbed the lapels of his blazer and pulled him in closer, plunging her tongue into his mouth.  He moved his hands from her shoulders to place one at the back of her head and the other on the side of her face, allowing the kiss to deepen, not caring that they were still standing in front of the pub.  Slowly the man pulled away and smiled at her.

“I’m staying not far from here, if you want to, you know, uh, come back with me.”  He offered a little nervous and unsure.

Clara flashed him a smile to put him at ease.  “Lead the way.”

\--------------

The next morning Clara woke up with a pounding headache and an incredibly dry mouth.  She didn’t want to open her eyes, but it would seem that her bladder was going to force her to get up, so she really had no choice.  Slowly she opened them and quickly realized she wasn’t in the guest bedroom at her dad's house, but instead a hotel room.  That’s when the previous night came back to her and she smiled at the memory.  What a night they had had and most certainly one that Clara would never forget.  She was just about to get out of bed and head to the bathroom, when she heard a phone ring, which caused the sleeping man next to her to wake up.

“What?”  He said angrily into the phone.  Clara remained still as she was sure he wasn’t aware that she was there.

“Oh shite.”  He answered as he glanced at the clock on the bedside table in front of him.  “I’ll be down as soon as I can.”

He put his phone back on the table and jumped out of bed, at which point he finally noticed that he wasn’t alone.

“Oi!”  He shouted clearly startled.   He quickly grabbed for the bed sheet to cover himself.

“Hi.”  She said bashfully.

“Hi.”  He returned.  “Uh, I’m sorry, I forgot you were here.”

“That memorable, huh?” She replied, teasing him.

“No!  That's not what I meant.  I just meant that the phone woke me up and …”

“It's okay, I was just teasing you.  I was briefly confused when I woke up too.”  She smiled.

He returned her smile.  “I’m really sorry, but I’m late for a meeting and I need to jump in the shower.  Can we pick up this conversation when I get out?”

“Oh yeah, absolutely.”  She answered.

“Um, do you think you could, ah, you know, close your eyes?”  He asked shyly.

“You do know that I just saw you naked and the thing you are trying to hide pleasured the fuck out of me last night.”  

Her choice of words made him smile. “So, you're not going to close your eyes?” 

“Nope.”

He sighed and shook his head knowing that he had no choice but to drop the sheet and walk towards the bathroom.  Clara got a good look at his behind once he was past the bed and she couldn't help but give him a whistle, which made him turn his head and smile at her again before he shut the door. He wasn’t the most physically fit man she’d been with, but he had a nice ass for a man his age.  She heard the shower start, so she jumped out of bed and grabbed her clothes that had been thrown around the room and quickly got dressed unsure of what to do next.  She kind of wanted to see this man again, but she had no idea what his name was or anything about him for that matter.  What if he didn’t feel the same and this was just a shag for him.  She didn’t want to feel that kind of rejection.  She looked around the room and spotted a notepad and pen on the desk and decided to leave him a note with her name and number.  That way if he was interested, he would reach out to her.

\-------------

Four days had passed since Clara had her one-night stand with the handsome stranger and he hadn’t called.  It was the first time, she actually felt disappointed.  Normally, she was the one doing the rejecting, so it felt weird to be on the other end of it.  She was trying her best to take her mind off of it by visiting her Gran in the hospital, but that wasn’t working much.  She eventually called Amy to see if she wanted to meet at the pub where she had met him, hoping to run into him again.

“You remember I can’t drink, right?”  Amy said on the other end of the phone.

“I know, but they have other things to drink and they even have food.  Come on.”  Clara urged her.

“Why do you want to go to that dive?  I don’t think I’ve been there since uni.”

“I just want to check it out for old time sake okay?”

“Fine.  I’ll meet you there in an hour.”  Amy finally agreed.

True to her word, Amy walked through the door an hour later.  She spotted Clara and joined her at a booth.

“This place hasn’t changed at all.”  Amy exclaimed as she looked around.

“I know, right?  So. what would you like to drink?  My treat.”

“Why are you being so nice?”  Amy asked her suspiciously.

“Can’t I do something nice for my best friend whom I haven’t seen in ages?”  Clara countered.

“Fine.”  Amy answered still suspicious.  “I’ll have a soda water.”

Clara went and got their drinks and took the chance to look around and see if she saw the mystery man, but sadly no luck.  She returned to the booth and Amy was still looking at her oddly.

“What?”  Clara asked.

“Who is he?”

“Pardon?”

“Who’s the guy that you are obviously trying to find?”

“What are you talking about?”  Clara answered trying to down play that Amy was right.  She hated that she knew her so well, that she couldn't get anything past her.  Just then the door opened and Clara looked over to see that it was the mystery man's friend. 

“Did you come here the other night and hook up with someone?”

“Maybe.”  Clara answered as she watched the man walk up to the bar and order a drink.  “But keep your voice down.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t need the whole pub knowing my business.”

“Why hello there.”  The mystery man's friend said as he approached the table with a pint.  “Have you started listening to better music?”

Amy gave Clara a look that said she thought this was the man Clara was looking for, but she couldn't have been more wrong.

“Nope.  I still think the Proclaimers are shit.”  Clara answered him. 

He laughed. “Do you mind if I join you ladies to convince you otherwise?”

“Please.”  Amy answered before Clara had a chance to refuse him.  “I'm Amy.”

“John Smith, but my friends call me JD, short for John David.”  He said as he extended his hand to Amy.  “Pleasure to meet you Amy.”

He glanced at Clara, obviously hoping to finally get her name.

“Clara.”  She offered.

“Very nice to finally know your name.”  He said.

“Wait, you slept with him and you didn't know each other's names?”  Amy blurted out.  Decorum was not her middle name.

“I did not sleep with him.”  Clara said, knowing that if JD didn't already know she slept with his friend, he would now.  

“Definitely not me.”  He said as he looked at Clara, who was blushing.  “Well I'll be.  That old dog.”

“Who?”  Amy asked.

“The Doctor.”  He said as if they should know who he was.

“That’s a strange nick name.”  Amy said.

“I never said I slept with him.  You’ve just jumped to that conclusion.”  Clara answered defensively to JD.

“It was an easy leap to make.”  He replied.  “Amy said you slept with someone and he's the person I left you with that night.” He answered smugly.

“Whatever.”  Clara replied, now completely annoyed with this man and wishing he would go away.  However, she wanted to learn more about this Doctor guy, so she was torn between telling him to sod off and grilling him for information.

“That explains now why he didn’t meet me in the lobby when he was supposed to.”

“Lobby?  What lobby?”  Amy asked, completely lost with the conversation, but desperately trying to keep up.

“A hotel, Amy, and before you ask which it doesn’t matter so just drop it.”  Clara was really annoyed with everyone now.

“Jeez, cranky much.”  Amy said.  “So, if he was staying in a hotel, where does he live?”  Amy asked JD.

“Glasgow.”

“Is he still in town?”  Amy asked.  

“He might be, but I’m not sure.  We’re not really friends, but more work colleagues.”  JD answered.  “I’m sorry, but are you two here hoping to see him?”

“Yes.” “No.” Both Clara and Amy answered at the same time, Amy confirming what Clara didn't want to admit.

JD just laughed and shook his head. 

“We are NOT here to try and see him.”  Clara said sternly.  The last thing she needed was JD telling the Doctor about this.

“Okay, if you say so.”  

“I do.”  Clara answered as JD's phone rang.

“Excuse me.”  He said as he got up to answer it.

“If you passed him up for his friend, I can't wait to see what the Doctor looks like.”  Amy said.  “He's gorgeous.”

“The Doctor is definitely not your type Amy.  He's older.”

“Older than him?  Because he looks to be about 10, 15 years older than us.” Amy stated.

“And the Doctor looks to be about 10, 15 years older than him.”

“Clara Oswald!  That would make him as old as your dad!”

“I just shagged him Amy.  It's not like I'm marrying him.”  Clara replied defensively.

“Still.  I knew you had a thing for older men, but really.  At least tell me that he was a good shag.”

Clara got a distant, far off look on her face as she thought back to that night and couldn't help the grin that spread across it.  “Oh yes.”

JD walked back in and sat down next to Amy again, halting any more talk about Clara's one-night stand.

“JD, how old is the Doctor?”  Amy asked.

“Amy!”  Clara snapped at her nosy friend.

“I think he's about 50.”  JD replied.

“Can we please drop the subject, okay?”  Clara said.  She wanted to know more, but at the same time she didn't want to give JD the idea that she was interested in the Doctor.  “Do you mind?  I'd like to have a drink, ALONE, with my friend.”

“Fine, but if you feel like you want to trade up to a younger model from the Doctor, I'll be over there.”  JD said as he motioned towards the bar and got up.

“You didn't need to be so rude to him, he was actually being helpful.”  Amy scolded her.

“Yeah, I suppose, but I don't need him telling the Doctor that the girl he shagged in London is pinning away for him.”  Clara sighed.

“But you are.”

“I am not.  I was just curious as to who he was and now I know.  So can we please stop talking about the man that I am likely to never see again.”

“Fine.  How's your Gran doing?”  Amy asked changing the subject.

“Better.  She's getting out of the hospital tomorrow, but she's going to be staying with my dad.”

“Well that's good.  And how much longer are you going to be around?”

“I don't know.  I haven't decided where I want to go to next.  I was thinking maybe France, so that I'm closer to home and could visit more often.”  Clara had remembered that the Doctor had given her the idea of being closer and she did think it was the best option.

“That would be good.” 

“Yeah, except I've been looking for jobs and a lot of the ones I'm interested in are asking for a degree.”

“Well it is a problem you were likely to run into sooner or later.” Amy said.

“I suppose, so I was also thinking…”  Clara stopped, not wanting to finish her sentence.

“Yeah?”  Amy asked sounding hopeful.

“I think I might stick around and finish uni.”

“Yay!”  Amy said so excited that people in the pub turned and looked at them, including JD.

“I said, I MIGHT.  Calm down.”  Clara said.

“You’re going to.”  Amy said sure of herself.  “Clara this is great!  You're coming home, Rose is coming home, we'll all be together again.”

“What do you mean Rose is coming home?”

Clara had met Rose Tyler in her intro to psychology class during her first year of university.  They immediately hit it off despite their differences.  Back then Rose was the free spirit, never dating the same guy more than once or flying off to Spain for the latest party.  Clara on the other hand, had a 5-year plan.  Finish school, get a job, get married, and have kids.  Rose taught her how to loosen up and would often drag her to places she never thought she’d go to.  It wasn’t long before Rose was moving in with her and Amy and the trio became inseparable.  That was until Clara’s mum died of cancer and she suddenly felt lost.  It was Rose who convinced her to take a year off school and travel to help put things back into perspective.  Who would have thought that one year would turn into eight?  After Amy and Rose graduated, Rose moved to Scotland, and Amy started teaching in London.  It seemed like they were both moving forward and Clara was happy living the life Rose once had, so Clara had felt there wasn’t much point in returning.  The last time Clara had seen Rose was at Amy and Rory’s wedding, where she was surprised to find out that Rose was not quite the free spirt anymore and instead was working on her post graduate degree in Glasgow.  It had sounded like she really loved it there and wasn’t interested in returning to London, so Clara was surprised to hear that she was coming home.

“Yeah.  I spoke to her yesterday and she said that she got a teaching job at UWL, so she would be coming back sometime in August.”

“Wow, University of West London.  Good for her.”

“You could enroll there and she could be your prof.  How funny would that be.”  Amy laughed.

“Hilarious.”  Clara said dryly, not finding it funny at all.  “I think if I do go back, it’s going to be at U of L.  It’s only fitting that I finish my degree where I started.”

“Sounds to me as if you’ve made a decision.”  Amy said.

“Maybe.”  Clara answered.  “Maybe.”


	3. Chapter 3

It had been a couple of months since Clara decided to go back to university, and now it was a few weeks before classes would start.  She was kind of looking forward to going back because she had enjoyed her time before she dropped out, but she would never admit it to Amy.  She only hoped that it would still feel the same and that she wouldn’t be the oldest person in her course.  

Clara was on her laptop, scrolling through the list of classes she could take, when she heard a knock at her door.  She answered it knowing that it could only be one of two people, Amy or her dad, and was relieved to see that it was the former.

“It's almost as if you read my mind.”  Clara said to Amy.  “I was just trying to choose my classes and could really use your input.”

“That sounds fun.”  Amy said sarcastically as she shut the door behind her and followed her to the living room.

“I like what you’ve done to your Gran’s flat.”  Amy added as she looked around.  “It doesn’t look like an old lady lived here at all.”

“Thanks.  We put most of her decorative stuff in storage and I grabbed some things that I had at my dad’s.  It’s not much, but it'll do for the next year.  At least I’ve got my own place.”  

“Yeah, you can't exactly bring men back to your dad's.”  Amy teased.  

“You think you're so funny.”  

“I do, actually.”

“Whatever, just shut up and help me choose some interesting classes.”

The two girls went through the courses Clara had to choose from in order to get a Bachelor’s Degree in Media and English Studies.  She was left with one class to choose, but couldn’t decide between Media Law and Ethics or Music as Communication and Creative Practice.  The latter appealed to her more, but she groaned when she was the professors name.

“What?”  Amy asked.

“John Smith.  That's the name of that annoying bloke from the pub.”

“You mean JD.  So?  Did he even live in London?  I thought he was from Glasgow and worked with the bloke you slept with.”  

“True, but what if it’s the same guy.  I can’t take a class with him.”

“It’s a really common name Clara and if it was him, what’s wrong with taking his class?”  Amy questioned.

“So many reasons, Amy.  First, he hit on me.  Second, he's arrogant, and third he knows I slept with his friend.”  Clara listed.

“Who cares.  You might get a really good grade if it is him and he fancies you.”

“I don't want to get good grades that way!”

“Well then don't take the class if you’re worried it might be him.”

“But the other one sounds boring.”

“Then take the class and stop your whining.”  Amy said, clearly annoyed by her indecisiveness. 

“Fine.”  Clara said as she selected it and hit submit.  Amy was right, it was a very common name, so it likely wasn’t the same man.  “There.  I am officially a student again.”

Another knock was heard at Clara's door and she looked at Amy wondering who it might be.

“Oh, I hope you don't mind, but I invited Rose over.”

“No way, really?”  Clara said excitedly as she got up to answer the door.  

Sure enough, her old friend was standing on the other side looking just as happy as Clara.  The two squealed and hugged each other, clearly happy to see one another.  It had been far too long and Clara couldn’t have been more pleased that she was back in London as well.

“Get in here, you.”  She said as she dragged her blonde friend inside.  “It’s so good to see you!”

“You too.”  Rose said as she walked towards Amy, who had also gotten up to hug her.  “My god Amy, you are practically glowing.”

“Thanks, I don’t feel like I am, especially when the morning sickness hits, but thanks.”

“Who wants a cuppa?”  Clara asked as she walked towards the kitchen.

“That sounds great.”  Rose said as she and Amy sat down on the couch.

“So, tell us about your new job.  You must be very excited to be teaching at UWL.”  Amy asked.

“I am.  I’ll miss Glasgow, but UWL made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.”

“Nice.”  Clara said as she walked back in.  “I think this might call for a night on the town.”

“Despite, not being able to drink I would enjoy going out and watching you two on the pull.”  Amy said.

“Amy, I’m not always out looking for a shag.”  Clara replied, slightly offended.

“Says the girl who had a one-night stand two months ago.”  Amy dodged a pillow that Clara had thrown at her head.

“And I haven’t had one since.”  

“Which would explain wanting a night out.”  Amy added.  “What do you think Rose?”

“Sounds fun.  I haven’t witnessed Clara Oswald in action in a long time.”  Rose laughed.

“Same could be said for you.”  Clara added.

“Afraid not.  I’m off the market ladies.”

“What!?”  Both Amy and Clara exclaimed at the same time, causing Rose to laugh.

“Yep.  Happened last month.” 

“Explain.”  Amy said.  “Because you’ve never mentioned being with anyone in all the times we’ve chatted.

“It’s a long story and one I don’t particularly feel like retelling.”  She answered.  “But I'll try and shorten it.  It started as a fling a year ago, neither of us being very serious about it.  When I told him about my offer in London, and that I was going to take it he wasn’t exactly happy about it, so we argued and he walked out.  Then last month he showed back up again, asked if he could come with me and if I would marry him.”

“Woah!  Just like that?!”  Amy exclaimed. 

“Just like that.”

“Oh my god, Rose.  That’s fantastic!”  Clara said happily.  “Congratulations!”

“Thanks.”

“Does this guy have a name and when do we get to meet him?”  Amy asked.

“Allan, and I hope you guys can meet him soon.  We’re kind of busy right now trying to get settled, but I promise, as soon as we’re ready we’ll have everyone over for dinner.”

The girls spent the rest of the afternoon catching up and reminiscing about old times until Rose noticed how late in the afternoon it had gotten and said she had to go.  Amy decided she should likely get home as well and the two walked out together leaving Clara alone in her empty flat.  She was genuinely happy for her friends, but she couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous because it seemed that they had all moved on with their lives, while she wasn’t really in much of a different place than when she left 8 years ago.  Maybe it was a good thing she decided to stay and maybe it was time for her to get back on track with the plan she had before she decided to see the world.

\-------------

Clara walked the hallways searching for her lecture hall.  She was already running later than she wanted to be on her first day and now she seemed to be lost in a maze of halls that all looked the same.   Finally, she spotted the room number and noticed that she had about five minutes to spare so thankfully she wasn’t late, but when she opened the door and walked in, she noticed the only seats available were right in the front row.  She spotted an empty seat between a girl who looked to be in her mid-twenties with a large dark afro, and a handsome man with dark hair who looked to be around the same age as herself.  

“Is this seat taken?”  She asked the pair.

“It is now.”  The man said as he motioned for her to sit.

“Thanks.”  She replied.  “My name’s Clara by the way.”

“I’m Jack.”  He replied as he flashed her a perfect smile.  “And that’s Bill.”

“Hi.”  The girl said.  “I don’t recognize you from any of our classes last year.”

“Yeah, it’s been about 8 years since I was last here.”

“Well I feel like there’s a story there that we need to hear.”  Jack said.

“Oh, I don’t think it’s that interesting, but sure, maybe later.”  Clara replied.  “So, do either of you know anything about this prof?”

“Nah, just that he’s new.”  Bill said.

Clara was still hoping that it wasn't JD.  Surely, it wouldn't be, because what would the odds of that being true, but she just had a strange feeling about the whole thing.  Suddenly, the lecture hall door opened and Clara's jaw dropped.

“Holy shit.” She said quietly out loud, not aware that she had spoken her thought.  The bottom had fallen out of her stomach and her heart began racing.

“Holy shit is right.”  Jack said as he leaned over and whispered to Clara.  “What a sexy silver fox.”

Clara didn't even notice what Jack had said because the only thing she could hear was her heart thumping so loudly it was echoing in her head as images started flashing through her mind from her one night stand a couple of months ago. A one-night stand that she hadn't been able to stop thinking about since it happened.  She watched him walk to the desk, take his laptop out of his bag, and connect it to the screen.  He hadn't looked up into the crowd of students yet, and she suddenly found herself wishing she had looked for a seat in the back.  She looked around wondering if it was too late to move, when he finally looked up from his computer and made eye contact with her.  She knew instantly that he remembered her as his eyes went wide and a look of panic came across his face.  He looked down and Clara could have sworn she saw his face flush pink leaving her to wonder if he was having the same vivid memories as her.  

How could she stay in this class?  There was no way she could spend the next hour or term for that matter sitting here.  She knew what this man looked like naked and worse yet, HE knew what SHE looked like naked.  More flashes were coming to her.  His lips wrapped around her nipples, her mouth wrapped around his erection.  His hot breath on her neck as he was thrusting in and out of her.  NO!  She had to stop.  She needed to focus and figure out what she was going to do because there was no way she could stay in this class.  She looked over at him again and realized that she couldn't just walk out now, but she would definitely have to see about dropping the class later.

He looked back up again, but this time he avoided looking in her direction.  He took a visible breath and walked towards the podium.

“Hi everyone.  Welcome to Music as Communication.”  He said, and Clara couldn't stop her heart from skipping a beat at the sound of his gravelly Scottish brogue.  

“I'm Dr. John Smith, but everyone calls me the Doctor.”  And with his last statement he looked right at her, leaving no doubt in her mind that she was in trouble if she didn’t change this class.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the feedback everyone! It makes me happy to know that people are enjoying this story. Now let's find out what happens when Clara talks to the Doctor!

“That's it for today.  You all have a list of your assignments, as well as the reading list and I highly recommend you get started on all of it sooner rather than later.”  The Doctor said as he was concluding his lecture.  Not once did he look at Clara throughout the whole thing, but now he looked right at her.  “My office hours are posted on the course website and I encourage you to come and see me if you have any questions.” He looked away from her and up into the crowd.  “Alright, see you all next week, except for the lucky few who have my tutorial.”

It had been the most agonizing hour of her life.  She imagined this was what her own personal hell would feel like, tormented to stare, over and over again, at the best one night stand she ever had, knowing that he was completely off limits, wondering why he never called when she so badly wanted him too.  She had been debating throughout the whole lecture if she should do the mature thing and approach him after, or just simply run away and try and switch into Media Law, but it would seem that he wanted to talk.  She was just about to pull out her phone to check where and when his office hours were, when Jack spoke.

“Well I don't know about you ladies, but I'm looking forward to Mondays from now on and keeping my fingers crossed that I have his tutorial class.”

“Oh Jack.”  Bill sighed.  “Clara do you want to grab a bite to eat with Mr. Randy Pants and I?

“That would be nice.  Thanks.”  She replied.

The three packed up and made their way out of the lecture hall, but not before Clara turned and locked eyes with the Doctor, who had clearly been watching her.  She gave him a slight smile, but his expression remained neutral.  She turned away a little disappointed that he didn’t return the gesture, but understood why. She followed Jack and Bill out and decided for now she would just focus on getting to know her new classmates and would look into his office hours later.

Lunch was really great.  The group had some time before they had any more classes, so they decided to go to a pub just off campus called The Fat Walrus.  Clara had a feeling that she might be coming here a lot with her new friends.  She really liked both Bill and Jack, whom she found out had met two years ago when they both started their studies at the same time.  Bill had been working at the university, serving chips in the canteen, and Jack had spent a number of years in the military in America before deciding he wanted a complete career change and to check out the country where his parents came from.  Clara was relieved to know that she wasn’t the only person who decided to go back to school at an age much older than some of their classmates.  She could tell that these two were good friends, as Bill was constantly teasing Jack about his flirtatious ways.  It seemed that he would flirt with anything, as long as it was breathing.

“Seriously, man.  Keep it in your trousers.”  Bill said as Jack was very obviously looking at a handsome young man that sat at a table near them.

“I can't help it Bill.  I'm attracted to beauty, which is why I've chosen to hang around you and now Clara.”

“Is he always like this?”  Clara asked Bill.

“Always.”  Bill laughed as she grabbed a chip off Jack’s plate.

“Hey, get your own if you’re going to insult me.”

“Ah, you know I only tease.  I would think something was seriously wrong with you if you weren’t trying to hit on someone.”  Bill added.

“This is true.  So, ladies, care to make a friendly wager?”  Jack asked.

“On what?”  Clara questioned.

“Think I can succeed in getting in the pants of our hot new teacher?”

Clara nearly spit her beer out on the table as she was taking a drink.  He couldn’t possibly be serious and if he was, that’s a bet she would take knowing full well that the Doctor was very much interested in women and not men.

“Seriously?”  Clara said.

“As serious as a heart attack.”  

“But he’s our lecturer.  Doesn’t the university have rules against that sort of thing.”

“I’m not talking about a relationship with him, Clara.  I just want to have some fun in the sack with him.  He just has a look about him that says he’d be a really good shag.”  

Images started flashing through her mind of just how right Jack was, but she needed them to stop.  She needed to change the subject and fast.

“I think you’d have better luck with the bloke over there than you would with the Doctor.”  Clara said.

“I’m with Clara.”  Bill added.

“Alright ladies.  I’m going to go get his number and if I don’t lunch is on me.”  

“Deal.”  Bill said.

With that, Jack got up and went and sat down with the young man that had walked in earlier.  The girls watched him while they chatted and before long, he returned with a phone number.

“Don’t ever underestimate my powers.”  

“Never again.”  Clara said.

“And I will succeed with the Doctor.”  He added.  “I’ll wager a hundred quid on it.”

“That’s too steep for my blood.”  Bill said.

“I’ll take that bet.”  Clara said, knowing she would win.

“Fantastic.”  Jack said.  “Let the games begin!”

They continued chatting and getting to know each other until, both Bill and Jack had another lecture to go to.  Once they were gone, Clara pulled out her phone and searched for the Doctor's office hours.  As luck would have it, he was there now and she had enough time to catch him before her next class.  She felt like she was heading to a dentist appointment to get a root canal done and with each step she walked a little slower, hoping that she might miss him.  It was stupid because the elephant in the room needed to be addressed and it was better to do it sooner rather than later, but she was just so afraid to see him again, completely unsure of what she was going to feel.

When she arrived at the English department, she searched the corridors looking for the right office until she finally came face to face with his.  The door was shut, so that at least gave her a moment to compose herself before she knocked. The butterflies that she had experienced during his lecture had returned and it felt like they had brought some birds along for the ride.  She took a couple of calming breaths and then slowly brought her fist up to connect with the wooden barrier.

“Come in.”  She heard him yell from the other side and suddenly her heart began to race.  She hesitantly turned the knob and entered to see him sitting at his desk.

“Ah, hello.”  She said nervously as she stepped further inside and shut the door behind her.

He looked up from his computer and once again didn't smile.  He almost looked cross, and Clara decided she didn't like this look very much.  She rather preferred him when he smiled.

“Clara.”  He finally said.  “Please, have a seat.”

Clara sat opposite him at his massive oak desk that had papers and books scattered all over it.

“I'm not really sure where to begin.”  She said apprehensively.

“How about with an apology?” 

“An apology?  For what?”  She asked confused.

“I had an amazing time with you and really enjoyed the whole night.  I had hoped to be able to see you again, but when I came out of the shower, you were gone.”  He said angrily.

“But I left you a note.”  Clara responded just as heatedly as him.  “You’re the one who never called me, so I assumed it was just a one off for you.”

“I never got a note.”  He replied.

“I left it on the desk.”  She answered.

“I never saw it.”  He said almost disappointed now.  “When I came out and saw that you were gone, I quickly got dressed and left.”

“I guess the cleaners must have accidentally thrown it out, but I swear I left you one.”  She answered calming down a bit, now realizing that he was interested and that the night meant a little more to him than she had thought.  “I’m sorry.  I panicked, not knowing what to do, but I really wanted to see you again.”

The Doctor looked at her and shook his head with a sad smile.  “Well crikey.”  

“Wait, if you didn’t get my note, how do you know my name?”

“JD was sure to fill me in about your meeting at the pub.”  He answered.

“Sorry about that.  That was not my intention.  I have a rather stupid friend with a very big mouth.”

He chuckled and for the first time, Clara gave a small sigh of relief at seeing his smile again.

“It’s okay.  JD, might be an annoying prat, but he can be very discreet.”

“An annoying prat that you share a name with.”  She added.

“Sadly, yes.  I guess we were both blessed with unimaginative parents.  Also, why we go by different names and so rarely use are given ones.”

Clara smiled and was unsure of what to say.  It seemed like he was genuinely disappointed that she hadn’t stayed that morning, which lead her to wonder what would have happened if she had.

“So, what do we do about this?”

“Sadly, there’s nothing we can do.  I'm your teacher now, and even though you weren’t my student when it happened, it definitely can’t happen again.”

“I know that.  But what about the fact that it did?”

“We pretend as if it didn’t.  We forget about it and act as if this is the first time we met.”  He answered as he stared deeply into her eyes.

“That's going to be hard, considering I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since it happened.”  She flashed him a smile then chastised herself for it because flirting was completely off the table.

He smiled, clearly remembering the same things she was, but then very quickly stopped and became serious.  “Yes, well, regardless, we have to put it out of our minds.”

“You’re right.  You're absolutely right.”  She stood up to leave.  “I guess I'll see you next Monday.”

“Actually, you'll see me on Wednesday.”  She looked at him questioningly.  “You're in my tutorial class.”

She nodded in realization.  “Ah, well see you then.”  She grabbed the door knob to open it.

“Oh, and Clara.”  She turned and looked back at him.  “I'm glad you decided to stay.”  He gave her a warm smile and then looked back down at his papers.

She walked out and gave a sigh of relief at finally getting this conversation over with, but at the same time felt really confused.  What did he mean he was happy she stayed?  Why would it matter?  And how did he know she was in his tutorial class, unless he looked her up to see which class she had?  She texted Amy to see if she could come over later because she had talk to someone and the only person could trust, was her.

\------------

“No fucking way!” Amy exclaimed as Clara told her what had happened.  “What are you going to do?”

“Nothing.”  She answered as she took a drink of her tea.  “I mean, what can I do?  He's my lecturer Amy.”

“Well bollocks.”

“Bollocks, indeed.”  Clara sighed.  “I just have the worst fucking luck.  I finally find a guy that interests me for the first time in years and he’s completely off limits.”

“Well I wouldn’t say completely.”

“Amy!  The last thing I need, is you encouraging me to do something I shouldn’t do.”

“I’m not encouraging.”  Amy said defensively.  “I’m just simply trying to nudge you.”

“Well stop it.”  Clara said annoyed.  “I want to finish this year without any issues, okay.” 

“Sorry.  You’re right and I commend you for not acting on your feelings because I know that’s really hard for you.”

“Thank you.”

“Maybe you can after you graduate.”  Amy suggested.  

“That’s a whole year from now.”  Clara said.  "I don’t want to be pining away for something that may or may not happen.  I’m just going to forget about the whole thing.  Pretend that we’ve never met.”

Clara wasn’t entirely sure who she was trying to convince more, Amy or herself.  She knew herself too well and she knew that the thrill of having an affair with a teacher sounded fun, daring and completely risqué.  All things that she had told herself she wasn’t going to do while she was trying to finish her degree.  She needed to focus, so she could finish and go back to traveling, but if she were completely honest with herself, she was looking forward to seeing him again on Wednesday and was really happy she was in his tutorial. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the feedback everyone! I love how much everyone is enjoying this. I've actually combined this chapter with the next because I just thought it flowed better. Hope you enjoy it!

Clara found herself rummaging through her clothes throwing them about her room trying to find the perfect outfit.

“This is ridiculous.”  She said to herself.

She was only going to one class today, so why did she have to have the right pair of jeans?  The answer to that was easy, but she wasn't about to admit it, she wanted to look good for the Doctor.  Despite being completely off limits, she wanted to at least get his attention.  She finally settled on a pair of black skinny jeans, a cropped off the shoulder grey cable knit sweater, over top of a white Oxford shirt.  She finished the look with a pair of biker boots and a black leather motorcycle jacket to match, a nice mix of looking edgy and scholarly.  She took one last look in the mirror and then made her way out the door. 

When she got to class, she was relieved to see that the Doctor wasn’t there yet and happy to see that Jack was.  She took a seat at the desk next to him at the front of the classroom.

“Why don’t we sit a little further back?”  She suggested, not wanting the Doctor to think that she had chosen this spot to be closer to him.

“Are you kidding?  This is perfect.”  Jack replied.  “You can’t expect me to flirt with the Doctor from the back of the room.”

“You really are serious about this bet, aren’t you?” 

“I never kid about this sort of thing.”  He answered.  “You’ll see.”

“I look forward to watching you in action.”  She said, just as the classroom door opened and the Doctor walked in.  He gave a shy smile to the class, being sure to avoid making eye contact with Clara.

“There’s just something about a man wearing jeans and a blazer that gets my motor running.”  Jack said as he leaned over and whispered in Clara’s ear.

“I know what you mean.”  Clara whispered back.  Jack was right about that.  The Doctor looked good, wearing a pair of blue jeans, a white button up shirt and a black blazer.

“Hi everyone.”  The Doctor said to the class.  “I thought maybe we might start by doing a small ice breaker, so I can get to know everyone’s names since we’re going to be spending the next term together.  I would like it if everyone could say their name and who their favourite band or musician is.  Let’s start at the back.”

A student in the back corner started by saying her name was Maria and her favourite band was Take That.  Clara rolled her eyes at the horrible taste in music this girl had and what seemed like most of the class as they made their way around the room.  It was Jack's turn next and she was anxious to hear what he would say as they hadn't talked about music.

“Hi.  My name's Jack and I have many musicians and bands that I love for so many reasons, but I'll go with the very popular Scottish band, The Proclaimers.”  He flashed a big smile at the Doctor, clearly thinking that he gained some points with him, but Clara knew better.  She actually couldn't stop the snicker that came out and Jack turned to her.

“What?  You don't like them?”  He asked almost offended.

“No.”  She said smiling at him still trying to hold in her laughter.  

“And what about you?”  The Doctor asked, drawing her attention to him.  When she turned, she saw that same smile she had seen that night at the pub and at that moment she knew he was thinking the same thing as her.

“Well, my name's Clara and despite liking a lot of different music, nothing will ever beat how I feel about David Bowie.”  She answered and smiled at him.

“Finally, someone with good taste.”  The Doctor said.  “The rest of you all need work, but don't worry I'm determined to make you listen to good music by Christmas.  Now I’d like to start by discussing something Clara just said in her answer.”

“Kiss ass.”  Jack leaned over and whispered in Clara's ear.

“Shut up.”  She whispered back, not taking her eyes off the Doctor who was now looking at them, but his expression changed from smiling to looking cross.

“Clara mentioned, how she feels about David Bowie.  It’s emotions and music that I want to talk about today.”

The Doctor continued class and by the end of their hour, Clara knew she was in big trouble.  She loved his class and the way he taught was incredible.  He was clearly very passionate about the subject because he spoke enthusiastically while moving about the room.  He asked thought provoking questions, and when someone would answer he would only throw another question out, making you think a little harder about your response.  She actively participated, along with a few other students, but for the most part Clara dominated discussions and the Doctor let her.  

“Well someone is quickly becoming teacher’s pet.”  Jack whispered to her, so that the Doctor didn’t hear as he was packing his bag.

“Jack, shut up.”  Clara said annoyed.  “I find this class extremely interesting and I would rather participate in discussions than sit back and do nothing for an hour.”

“Fine, just means I need to outshine you.”  He said and then looked around noticing that they were the only students left in the room.  

“Hey Doc.”  He said, getting the other man’s attention.  “You never told us who your favourite musician is?”

“You’re right, I didn’t.”  The Doctor answered, not elaborating further.

“So...”  Jack tried to prod.

“So, you can’t answer that after this class?”  He asked back.  “I thought it was pretty obvious in the things that I said.” 

“I guess I must have been distracted and missed it.”  Jack said as he gave the Doctor a flirtatious look.

Clara just shook her head.  “Jack, he’s a Bowie fan.”

“Well it’s nice to see that someone was paying attention.”  The Doctor said as he smiled at Clara, who couldn’t help but smile back.  For a brief moment, Clara almost forgot that Jack was in the room.  

The Doctor grabbed his bag and walked towards the door.  “Jack, do try to keep up.”  And with the final word he walked out the door.

“I think he might be tougher to crack then I thought.”  Jack said.

“Why don’t you just pay me that hundred quid now.”  Clara said as she got up.

“Oh no, I’m not giving up just yet.”  Jack answered as he walked with Clara out of the room.  “Besides, I think my next class is with him.”

“Really?”  

“Yeah, Bill and I have a social media class taught by John Smith.  Must be him.”

Clara felt a little disappointed that she wasn’t taking the same class, but then quickly chastised herself for thinking it.  “Well, try not to piss him off in the next one then.”

“Should be easier with you not around.”  He winked at her to let her know he was only kidding.  

They parted ways, but not before Clara agreed to meet him and Bill at the Royal George after their last class of the day.  Clara was surprised when Jack mentioned the pub she had met the Doctor at, and had almost said no to going for fear of the memories it would bring back, but she really wanted to find out about their social media class so she agreed.  She decided she would spend the afternoon in the library getting a head start on some of the readings for the Doctor’s class.

\-----------

Clara walked into the pub and quickly spotted Jack and Bill in a booth near the bar.  She grabbed a pint and then went and joined her new friends.

“Here, sit next to me.”  Bill said as she slid over to make room for her.

“How was your class with the Doctor?”  Clara asked, curious about what happened.

“Turned out it wasn’t him, but another teacher by the same name.”  Bill answered.

“Really?  Is everyone named John Smith around here.”  Clara stated.

“Only the handsome ones.”  Jack said.  “I may have to amend my bet because I think JD has stolen my heart.”

Clara choked on her beer and started coughing which caught the concern of her companions.  

“Sorry, did you say JD?”  She asked wanting to make sure she heard Jack correctly.  Her one-night stand was beginning to haunt her at every turn she made.

“Yeah, he told us to call him that since he knows the Doctor also has the same name.  Why?  Do you know him?”  But before Clara could answer, Jack’s face lit up as he looked towards the door.  “Now there’s a Scottish sandwich I’d like to get between.”

Clara and Bill both turned around to see what Jack was talking about and very quickly Clara turned back around hoping to not make eye contact with JD and the Doctor.

“Jack, do you ever think of anything other than sex?”  Bill asked.

Jack thought about it for a moment and then answered.  “No.”

Clara watched out of the corner of her eye as JD and the Doctor took a seat at the bar.  She had really hoped they hadn’t seen them and that she could a have a peaceful night without any drama, but knowing her luck that likely wasn’t going to be the case.

“Well this night just got interesting.”  Jack said.  

“Who’s the bloke with the Doctor?”  Clara asked, pretending to now know.

“That’s JD and one of those handsome men will be mine.”  Jack answered.

“Do you think that maybe we can talk about something else other than how much you want to get in the pants of our teachers?”  Clara asked.

“I’m with Clara.”  Bill added.

“Fine.  Clara you must have some interesting stories from your travels.”  Jack said, going along with the girls.

Clara told them a story about a night she had in Bangkok and for about a half an hour her thoughts were taken off of her current situation.  Both Bill and Jack were interested in her stories and asked many questions about the places she had been.  They finished their pints and Clara thought this might be a good chance to convince them to go to another pub.

“Actually, I’m going to take off.”  Bill said.  “I’ve been chatting with this girl, Heather, and she finally has some time to meet.”

“Well maybe we should call it a night.”  Clara said.

“Nonsense.”  Jack replied.  “You wait right here because I’m going to go get us another round.”  

Jack hugged Bill goodbye, before making his way over to the bar.  Clara wished her good luck and was suddenly alone at the table.  She glanced over at the bar and noticed that Jack was ordering drinks right next to JD and was chatting to the two men.  That’s when the Doctor turned and made eye contact with her.  She gave him a brief smile and he nodded his head, as if to say hello.  Jack made his way back to her with two pints and started asking her more about her travels.  She started talking about San Francisco and it turned out that Jack had lived in the same neighbourhood as her at one point.  They shared stories and were having some good laughs, that Clara almost forgot about JD and the Doctor.  Almost.  She couldn’t help, but glance over that way from time to time and would sometimes catch the Doctor watching her, but he would quickly look away once they made brief eye contact.  They were half way through their pint when Jack suggested they play pool.

“Sure, but I haven’t played in ages, so I’m not likely any good.”  She answered.

“That’s okay.  I can help you.”

The two made their way over to the empty table and Jack set up the balls.  He told Clara to break first, and when she went to line her cue up with the white, Jack came around behind her and helped position her better by moving her hips and changing the placement of her shoulders.  He then helped her pull the cue back then stepped aside telling her to go ahead and strike the ball.  Sure enough, the balls went scattering and she managed to sink both a red and a yellow. 

“Hey!  Look at that!”  She said excitedly as she hugged Jack.  

“Good job!  I'll make a pool shark out of you before this night is over.”  

They continued playing, with Jack helping Clara the same way he did for her first shot.  Sometimes his help was good and other times it wasn't, but either way she was having a good time and was enjoying getting to know Jack better.   He was a lot of fun when he wasn't always talking about sex.  A couple of times when it was Jack's turn Clara would glance back at the bar and again catch the Doctor watching them.  Except now, instead of turning away he would glower at them and she had no idea why.  She was sure that Jack hadn't noticed because he hadn't said anything and she hoped it remained that way.  

They finished their game, with Clara missing the black and Jack very easily sinking it on the next shot.  Clara demanded a rematch and Jack happily agreed, but first he had to go to the loo.

“Alright.  I'll go get the next round.”  She offered and made her way over to the bar.  

She stood at the opposite end of where JD and the Doctor were and once again noticed the glare that she was getting from the Doctor.  She had no idea why and she was determined to find out, as she decided to confront him.

“What's your problem?”  She said as she walked up to him, not caring that JD was there.

“Me?”  He said taken aback.  “What are you talking about?”

“You have been practically shooting daggers at Jack and I all night.  Why?”  She demanded.

“I have not.” He said defensively.

“You kinda have mate.”  JD added and the Doctor turned and glared at him.  “Yeah, just like that.”

“Shut up.”  He said to JD.  

“If you ask me, I think he’s jealous.”  JD said to Clara, completely ignoring the Doctor.

“Jealous?  Of me and Jack?”  She laughed at the absurdity of it.

“I’m not jealous.”  The Doctor almost shouted, but kept his voice low.  “What Clara does or _who she does_ is no business of mine.”

“Who I do!?  What the hell do you think of me?”  She said angrily.

“Look, you’re clearly interested in Jack, and I think you and I both know how your night is going to end.”

Clara stared at him, shaking with anger.  If they were anywhere other than this pub, she likely would have slapped him for the implication he had just made.  How dare he imply that she was going to sleep with Jack.

“You’re an arse.”  She finally said.  “Thank you, for making it clear that you are no different than any other bloke.”

She turned without giving him another look and saw that Jack had just come out of the loo, so she walked back and told him that she was suddenly not feeling well, and she was going home.  He tried to convince her to stay, but she insisted on leaving so the two made their way to the door.  She tried to avoid looking in the Doctor's direction, knowing that he was likely thinking the very thing he accused her of, but she didn't care.  She just wanted to get out of there.  

Luckily, she didn't live far and was home in no time, but she just couldn't calm down.  How dare he think she would sleep with just anyone.  Sure, she had her share of flings and one night stands over the years, but he didn't know her.  She wanted to tell him off more and almost debated about going back to the pub to do just that, but decided it was best not to.  Instead she decided she would go to the gym and try and blow off some steam.  She grabbed her workout bag and headed out the door.

She had only gone a couple of blocks when she spotted JD and the Doctor walking just ahead of her.  She took this as a sign that the universe was rewarding her with an opportunity, and picked up her pace a little, but as she got closer, she was able to hear their conversation.

“You need to apologize to her.”  JD said.

“I know.  And I will on Monday.”

“If I were you, I'd try to do it sooner.  She was pissed and had every right to be.”

“I know JD.”  The Doctor said, annoyed.  “I crossed a line and I'll make it right.”

Clara was relieved to hear that he at least understood what he said as wrong.  She debated about making her presence known, but decided instead to slow down a bit to let them get ahead.  She started thinking about what she should do.  Should she go to his office tomorrow or should she just wait and let him come to her, to see if he was true to his word.  She was so engrossed with her internal debate that she didn't realize the two men had stopped walking and were now standing on the street corner.

“Well speak of the devil.”  JD said as he spotted Clara.  She looked up and noticed that both men were staring at her.

“Oh, sorry.  I didn’t see you guys here.”  She said as she slowed her pace, but kept walking.

“Clara.”  The Doctor said, causing her to stop and turn around.  “Can I talk to you for a second?” 

“That depends, are you going to insult me more?”  She asked curtly.

“No.”

“Okay then.”  She replied.

“I’m going to leave you two to it.”  JD said.  “Doctor, I’ll see you tomorrow.  Clara give him hell.”

The Doctor looked around and spotted a small café across the street.

“Do you think maybe we could go talk in there?”  He asked.

“No.  Whatever you have to say, you can say it here.”  She replied.

“Fine.”  He sighed.  “Look I’m sorry for what I said back at the pub.”

“Okay, and...”

“And what?  I said I’m sorry.”

“Not good enough.”  She answered coolly.

“What more do you want?”  He asked sounding aggravated.

“What you said was completely uncalled for.  I could say the same for you, since you so easily slept with me.  But just because I was having a good time with a friend, you jump to the conclusion that I’m going to sleep with him as well.”  She raised her voice.

“You’re right and I’m sorry.  Now can you please lower your voice.”

“No!  I’m angry and you hurt me.”  She yelled, but then took a couple of deep breaths to help calm herself down.  “I thought you were different than other guys.  I thought you were sweet and charming, but you’re not.”

“What I said is not a reflection of me.  I regretted it the moment it came out of my mouth and if I could get in a time machine and go back, I would stop myself from saying it.  But I can’t.”

“But why did you say that if it’s not what you were thinking?”

He looked at her and took a very deep breath before he spoke, almost as if he were debating what he was going to say.

“Because I was jealous, okay.  JD was right.  You were right.  I wasn’t happy about how much Jack was touching you and all I could think about was how much I wanted to be him.”

Clara just stared at him, not sure what to say or do.

“I never meant what I said and I don’t think that about you at all.  What I do think is that you’re a beautiful, smart woman and if our circumstances were different, I’d be taking you to dinner right now.  But that’s the problem.  I can’t.  And it’s hard to sit back and watch as Jack whispers to you during class and especially watch as he was coming on to you back there.”

“Jack wasn’t coming on to me.”  She said.  “Trust me when I say, I’m not his type.  He’s more interested in you than me.”

The Doctor’s eyes went wide behind his glasses as the realization hit him.  

“But the reality is, we can’t be together and if Jack was flirting with me, it’s no business of yours.”  She stated.  “You just said yourself, this can’t happen.”

“I know.  For so many reasons.”  He looked at her wistfully.

“So where do we go from here?  I like you, Doctor, but I can’t sit around waiting for the timing to be better and you can’t go getting angry every time some bloke talks to me.”

“You’re right and I promise I will keep my anger in check.  It’s probably best if we don’t see each other outside of class time and if we run into each other like we did tonight we do our best to ignore each other.”

Clara nodded in agreement.  “No lingering looks, and no flirting.”

“Definitely none of that.  Deal?”  He said as he extended his hand.  Clara looked at it before taking it in hers.

“Deal.”  They shook and Clara suddenly felt a tiny flutter as she touched him for the first time since that night.  His hands were so soft and she couldn’t help but remember how they had felt as he moved them over her naked body.  She quickly let go and noticed that he also had a far off, distant look as well and she knew he was thinking the same thing as her.

“None of that.”  She scolded, but gave him a small smile.

“Sorry, it’s just that you have very nice hands.”  He smiled at her.

“I’m walking away from you now.”  She said as she started walking in the direction of her gym.

“Probably a good idea.”  He replied, still smiling.  “See you Monday, Ms. Oswald.”

She turned back around and smiled at him.  “See you Monday Doctor Smith.”  She turned back around and kept walking not looking back no matter how much she wanted to.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments after the last chapter, you guys are the best! Let's see if these two can stay true to their word and keep their distance ;)

Clara decided to have a nice peaceful weekend to help take her mind off the Doctor and the stressful first week she had at  uni.   She spent most of Saturday  at her Dad’s house,  watching TV and chatting with her Gran ,  then helping her Dad with some computer issues.  On Sunday she stayed home and decided to focus on doing some studying, and trying to get  ahead  in her  homework.   She was always the kind of student that hated procrastinating , so she pulled out her lists of assignments  she had for the Doctor's class and noticed the  first one was due in 2 weeks and it  actually looked pretty simple. Five hundred words on the emotions evoked from  a song that has meaning  for  you.   The hard part would be choosing a song.  There were so many that meant something to her.   There was the song she  had her first dance to.  The song that was playing at the party where she  had her  first  kiss with  Simon Baxter , her long - time crush and first ever kiss.   The song that she played on repeat when Simon broke her heart.   But most of all there was the song that  reminded  her of her mom.   Modern Love by David Bowie.  Her mom loved Bowie and was a big part of why Clara loved him so much.  Often, when she was a little girl, her mom would put that song on and s pin her  around the living room,  singing at the top of her lungs.

Clara opened her laptop and played the song  while she started typing .   Before she knew it ,  she had more than 500 words.  She read what she had written and wondered if  this was what the Doctor was looking for.   She was pretty sure it was correct, but she was doubting herself and decided that maybe she should stop by his office on Monday to discuss it with him.  At least that was what she was telling herself was the reason. After her lecture with the Doctor on Monday, Clara found herself outside his office door again, but this time she wasn’t so nervous about seeing him as she was a week ago.  She knocked, and heard the familiar voice from the other side, telling her to come in.  She opened the door and the Doctor looked surprised to see it was her.

“Clara.”  He said.  “I thought we agreed to not see each other like this.”

“We did.”  She smiled.  “But you are my  teacher  and I have a question about an assignment, so I thought it would be okay.”

“Fair enough.”  He said and motioned for her to sit.  “What can I do for you?”

“I finished the first assignment and I was wondering  if  you might read it to tell me if it’s what  you’r e looking for.”  She stated as she pulled her paper out of her bag.

“You finished already?”  He said, rather surprised.

“Yeah.  It seemed a little easy, which is why I wanted to make sure it was correct and I that I didn’t miss something.”  She slid the paper across to him.

He took it and started reading.  She watched as he read, hoping to gain some insight into what he might be thinking, but his facial expressions remained neutral.  He finally reached the end and looked up at her.

“This is exactly what I’m looking for.”  He smiled at her.  

“It’s not too emotional?”  She questioned.

“There’s no such thing as too emotional when we’re talking about music and the feelings songs can invoke.”  

He stood up and walked over to one of his book shelves and ran his  long  fingers across a row of albums, then pulled a record out and put it on his turn table. 

“This is the song that reminds me of my parents.”  He said as the distinct crooning voice of Frank Sinatra came through the speakers.  

“The Way You Look Tonight.”  Clara said and the Doctor nodded in agreement.

He walked towards her and for a brief moment she thought he was going to ask her to dance, but then he sat in the chair beside her.

“My dad would put  this  song on and dance with my mum .  It didn't matter what she was doing , he  would make her stop and  move with her around the kitchen or the living room.   He wasn't an emotional man and never said I love you, but this was his way of showing my mum how he felt  a nd for that brief moment I would get a glimpse of the  love  they shared.”

They sat there and listened to the song, and Clara didn’t dare say a word as she could tell that the Doctor was transported to a different time.  The song ended and the next one started and once again she recognized the song, as did the Doctor who now looked at her and gave her a sly grin.

“Now this song, reminds me of you.”  

"Witchcraft, reminds you of me?  You calling me a witch?”  She laughed.

“Perhaps.”  He winked at her.  “But the lyrics are pretty accurate.”

Clara listened for a moment.

_Those fingers in my hair_    
 _That sly come-hither stare_    
 _That strips my conscience bare_    
 _It's witchcraft_

_And I've got no defense for it_    
 _The heat is too intense for it_    
 _What good would common sense for it do?_

_'Cause_ _it's witchcraft_    
 _Wicked witchcraft_    
 _And although, I know, it's strictly taboo_

_When you arouse the need in me_    
 _My heart says yes indeed in me_    
 _Proceed with what you're leading me to_

“I thought that we had agreed  no  flirting.”  She said as she glared at him, but with an ever so small smile.

“I’m not flirting, I’m just stating a fact.  This song reminds me of you.”

“I don’t give you a come-hither stare.”  She stated.

“Sure, if you say so.”  He winked at her again.

“Will you stop  that .  Remember,  teacher ...” she motioned towards him and then back at herself, “...student.”

He stood up and walked back to his turntable to take the album off.  “You’re right.  I’m sorry.”  He turned back towards her, but was sure to keep his distance.  “You just make it very difficult.”

“Likewise.”  She replied and looked at him for a moment wondering if it would be possible to wait until she finished school.  It was only one year.  “You don’t think, uh, maybe...”

“Yes?”  He replied encouraging her to continue.

“Uh, never mind.”  She said changing her mind.  This was not a conversation they should be having.  “I should go.”

She stood up and the Doctor took a step towards her, but she put her hand up to him to stop him from moving closer.  “Thanks for the help.”

“Any time.”  He replied and somehow Clara thought there was more meaning behind what he was saying.

She left his office feeling more confused than ever.  Why would he tell her that song reminded him of her?  Why would he wink at her the number of times he did?  And how was she going to keep her distance when all she wanted to do was be around him.  She knew she should keep her distance, but her mind was already thinking about Wednesday when she would see him in class again.

\----------

Clara had managed to make it through the rest of the week with much less drama than the first .   She did her best to avoid the Doctor until Wednesday and claimed she had an appointment to get to right after class, so she couldn’t wait for Jack, knowing that he would want to linger to talk to the Doctor.  He was still very determined to win the bet and Clara wished that she could tell him he was wasting his time, but it would mean having to explain why she knew.

It was now Saturday and she was having lunch with Amy and Rose at Amy’s.  

“You’re early.”  Amy said as she opened the door.

“Sorry.  I was hoping to chat before Rose gets here.”  Clara said as she entered.

“About what?”  Amy asked.

“The Doctor.”  

“ Oooh , stories!  Let me get comfortable.”   Amy sat on the couch and Clara sat next to her.  “Okay, what happened ?   Because I thought the two of you had agreed to keep it professional.”

“We had, but he's making it incredibly difficult.”

Clara proceeded to tell Amy about her  first couple of weeks  and all the encounters she had had with the Doctor  and how jealous he was  of Jack.

“ Jeez , Clara,  you’ve  only  just started school.”   Amy said when Clara was finished.

“I know. ”

“I can't believe he admitted that he  wants to date you. ”

“ I know.”

“ The way I see it, you have two options. One, be serious about the boundaries .”

“I am.”  Clara said defensively cutting Amy off.

“No ,  you're not.  You knew your assignment was good, but you used it as an excuse to see him in his office.   You know he's interested and you're trying to tempt him.”

Clara just stared at Amy, knowing that she was right.

“So, like I said , be serious about the boundaries.”

“And the second option?”  Clara asked.

“You say fuck it and  you seduce the shite out of him.”

“Amy!  That is not an option.”

“Then that only leaves option one.”  Amy said.

“You’re right.  I hate that you are, but you are.”

The girls chatted some more about Clara’s other classes and before long Rose arrived  right on time for lunch .

“When did you become such a good cook?”  Rose questioned.

“Yeah, in  uni  all you knew how to make was cup-a-soup.”  Clara added.

“Hey, I knew how to make more.   I just never liked to, but now that I have Rory and a  baby on the way, I thought I should learn.”

“Well it's very good.”  Rose said.

“ So ,  have you upped your cooking game, now that you're engaged. ”  Clara asked Rose.

“Nah.   Allan's  often not home until late  and sometimes will just sleep in his office since it's a bit far from our home , so we kind of fend for ourselves.”   Rose said.

“What does he do that keeps him at work so late and you're okay with him  not coming home because I know I wouldn't be with Rory.”  Amy questioned her.

“Look I don't want to talk about it.”  Rose  replied standoffishly. 

“But that's not good Rose if he's not coming home.”  Amy added not wanting to let it go.

“It's just been a  bi g adjustment for us both, okay.  We've never lived together before and he's used to having his space , so I'm trying not  to  push him.  Can we please  just  drop it?”   Rose said getting more annoyed.  Clara gave Amy a look that told her to stop, so no one pressed her further.

“Sorry.”  Amy said.  “I didn't mean to upset you. ”

“ It's okay .   It's just been a really stressful time. ”   Rose said.  “Anyway, enough about my boring life.  How's  university Clara?”

“Ah, good.”  Clara answered, not wanting to elaborate.

“That's it, just good ?”

“Well it's only been a couple of weeks.”

“Yeah, not enough time for her to get into any trouble yet.”   Amy said clearly thinking she was  funny.

“Any cool  lecturers ?”  Rose asked.

Clara gave Amy a dirty look, stopping her from saying what she knew she wanted to say.  She didn't want Rose to know about the Doctor because she thought the fewer people who knew, the better.   She also didn't want to hear what Rose had to think as she was sure she might have some strong opinions about it, since she was such an academic.   Clara answered her question by just telling her there were a few, but it was too early to tell.  She then changed the subject and the girls spent the rest of the afternoon talking about family and other friends from school.

“Thanks so much for lunch.”  Rose said as she  hugged Amy.  “I promise that once I feel more settled ,  I'll have a dinner at my place.”  

“ I can't wait.”   Amy smiled.

“You sure you don't want to come  with me to Martha's art opening tonight?”  Rose asked as she hugged Clara.

“I'm sure.  I don't want to run into Danny and I'm sure he'll be there, but give my best to Martha.”

Martha was a good friend of Rose's  from high school and Danny was her  older  brother.   Rose had introduced Clara to them and it wasn't long before she and Danny started dating.   They dated for just over a year, until Clara left on her travels and left Danny broken hearted.   During lunch Rose  had  mentioned that she was going to Martha's art show and asked if Clara wanted to come since  Allan wasn't able to go with her , but she really didn't want to see Danny  because it would inevitably lead to an awkward night.

Once Rose was gone Clara was about to leave as well, but Amy stopped her.

“ Is it me or do you think her relationship sounds weird?”

“ Maybe a little, but everyone can't have the fairytale you and Rory have had ?”  Clara  said.

“I just feel like there's something she's not telling us.”

“I think you've been watching too much  East Enders.”   Clara replied.

Amy rolled her eyes at Clara.  “Oh, come on, you can’t tell me you don’t think it’s just the slightest bit odd that he’s not coming home.”

“Maybe, but she  told you  it's stressful.  They're starting new lives here  and it's going to take time to adjust.  N ow stop looking for drama where there isn't any. ”

“Perhaps.”  Amy said, not fully convinced.

“If you need drama, I'm sure  my life can provide enough for you.   Now I've  gotta  go. ”  Clara said as she hugged Amy.  “Thanks for lunch  and I'll  ring  you in a few.”

Clara left and decided she would walk home, wanting to stop at a record shop on the way.   Her  Gran  had an old turn table in her flat and she thought it would be great to find some  vintage  vinyl for it.   She opened the shop door and  looked around, trying to see which section she wanted to start in.  The closest to her was jazz so she thought she'd start there.   She didn't find anything there that she wanted, so she moved  on  to  punk.  She was looking at a Ramones album when  she felt someone was behind her.

“Doesn't surprise me that you're into punk.” She  would know that Scottish brogue anywhere.

“Yeah, and why is that?”  She asked without turning around, pretending to focus on reading the back cover  and not her heart that was suddenly beating faster.

“You have a feisty, angry personality. ”  The Doctor  said  as he leaned  in  a little closer to her.  “You don't want that.”   He then reached around her and took the record out of her hand and put it back.  

“Maybe I do.”  She said.

“Nah.  I'll show you what you want .”  He answered as he moved next to her and started flipping through another  stack.   “Now I think you might like this.”

“Stiff Little Fingers?”  She said questionably.

“Just listen to it.”  He said as he moved over to another section.  “I have a feeling you might like it.”

“Fine.”

“Here.”  He said handing her another album.  “Try this one too.”

Clara took it from him and once again it was another band she didn’t know.  

“Thanks, but I don’t recall asking you for help in picking out music.”  Clara said.  “In fact, I thought I was the one who had good taste.” 

“Doesn’t hurt to expand your palate.”  He said as he continued digging through piles of records.

“Okay, but no more.  I’m on a limited budget.”  She said as she started looking next to where he was standing.

“Fine.”  They continued to search in silence , moving  around the shop, checking out different sections.  From time to time, Clara would pull out an album to look at it and the Doctor would comment about it, either saying it was good or bad.  Clara had picked up three more, in addition to the ones the Doctor had pulled for her, and thought that it would be a good time to stop before she saw something else ,  she wanted. 

“Well that’s it for me.”  She said to the Doctor who was holding  a pile of  records. 

“I think me too.”  He replied and motioned towards the cash.

Clara went first and when she finished, she wasn’t sure if she should wait for the Doctor or leave.  She hadn’t come here with him and she knew that it was probably not wise to do what she was thinking.  She stepped to the side and pretended that she was looking at the jacket of the record that was currently playing in the store, while watching the Doctor check out.  For some reason he had the man separate  his  purchase into 2 different bags, which she thought was odd.  He finished and stepped over next to her to look at what she was looking at.

“Ready to go?”  He asked, as if they should be leaving together.

They stepped outside and the Doctor handed her one of his bags.

“What’s this?”  She asked confused.

“Well I figured  that  since you had been travelling for a while, you  wouldn’t  have much of a vinyl collection and that you were here trying to build it up.”  He gave her a shy smile.  

“ That’s true, but  I can’t accept these.”  She said .

“Please.  I really want you to have them.”  He said genuinely.

Clara was shocked that he had bought these for her.  And also, incredibly confused.  They were supposed to be keeping it professional, but it seemed that this was almost impossible for the two of them to do.  It was as if the universe was trying to push them together at every turn she made.  Who was she to fight the universe?  Maybe she should just give in and say  to hell with it.

“Okay, but only if you let me take you to coffee as a way of saying thanks.”

He didn’t say anything right away and Clara could tell that he was thinking about it.

“I thought we were supposed to be keeping our distance?”  He asked.

“Yeah and how well are you following that rule, coming up to me in there and following me around the shop.”  She smiled at him.

“I wasn’t following you, I was merely helping.”  He said, returning her smile.

“If you say so.”  She paused.  “So, is that a yes or a no?”  

His expression turned serious for a moment, while he once again thought about what she was asking.

“I don’t know.”  He replied hesitantly.

“It’s just coffee, Doctor.  Just a way for me to say thanks for the records.  Please?”  She gave him the big puppy dog eyes that she knew most men couldn’t say no to.

He took a deep breath before he gave his answer and she knew she had him.  

“Okay.”  He finally  replied .


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well let's see what happens with these two at coffee...

The Doctor grabbed a table while Clara went and got their coffees.  She was starting to second guess her decision as she waited for the barista to prepare their order.  What was she thinking?  One side of her knew exactly what she was thinking.  He was a handsome man that she fancied more than any man she had in a very long time and all she could think about was getting him into bed again.  While the other side of her was thinking this was too dangerous and she needed to stop.  Be stronger.  Out of all the record shops in London, why did he have to walk into that one at the same time she did.  She started telling herself that it was just coffee, nothing more.  It couldn’t be anything more.  But why couldn’t they at least be friends?  She knew why, you shouldn’t want to shag your friends every time you see them.  But she was a mature adult and she could do this.  She could have coffee with him despite how she felt.  Although she did just tell Rose she wouldn’t go to an art opening with her for fear of running into an ex-boyfriend from eight years ago, so maybe she wasn’t so mature after all.  Her name was called, ending her internal debate, so she grabbed their drinks and made her way over to the table. 

“Thanks.”  The Doctor said as she handed him his coffee. 

“You’re welcome.  Thanks again for the records.”  She replied as she sat down. 

“Oh, it’s nothing.  I just hope that you like them.”  

“I’m sure I will.”  She smiled at him.  “I have a feeling that you and I share a similar taste in music.” 

“I think you’re right.”  He replied as he took a sip of his drink.  “So how have the first two weeks of university been?  Happy you decided to stay?” 

“Yes and no.”  She answered.  “I miss the adventure, but uni hasn’t been without its dramatic moments.”  

“Yeah, I guess so.”  He gave her a shy smile. 

“I know my family is happy that I’ve stayed and it’s nice to see my dad more often.” 

“So, no regrets?”

Clara wondered if he was referring to more than just her staying.  She thought for one moment about her answer.  There was only one thing she regretted and that was not staying after their one-night stand, but she knew if she mentioned that, it would be opening a can of worms that didn't need to be open.   

“Nah.”  She responded.   

“Well that's good.”  He looked down at his coffee almost as if he were shy and didn't know what to say next. 

“How about you?”  She asked and he looked up giving her a confused look.  “You're new to the uni, how have your first couple of weeks been?” 

“Oh, that.”  He answered.  “Good.  I've always liked London and I like the classes I'm teaching.” 

“It shows.”  She smiled at him.  “You're very animated and passionate when you're lecturing.” 

“Thanks.”  He smiled bashfully.  “I just really love music.”   

“Really?  I couldn't tell.”  She said sarcastically. 

He laughed and smiled at her and it was the smile she had gotten the night they first met.  God, why did he have to be so damn handsome.  It almost hurt, how much she wanted him.  They chatted some more about classes and some more about music and before Clara knew it, two hours had passed.  She was supposed to be having dinner at her dad's and she knew if she didn't leave soon, she wouldn't make it on time. 

“Thanks again for the records.”  Clara said as she and the Doctor stepped outside the café. 

“You're welcome.  And thank you for the coffee.”  He smiled at her. 

Clara suddenly felt really awkward and unsure of how to say goodbye to him and she was pretty sure he felt the same as neither of them were making a move to part ways. 

“Well, I guess I'll see you on Monday.”  Clara said taking a small step forward, hoping that the Doctor might get the cue. 

“Right.”  He said as he closed the distance between them a little more, but not daring to hug her.  “Uhm, I, uh…” 

“Yeah…”  Clara tried to urge him to say what he was thinking. 

“I can't wait to hear what you think of the albums.” 

Clara was sure this wasn't what he was wanting to say, but instead what he opted for.  

“Yeah, I'll be sure to write you a report.”  She grinned at him. 

“Hey that's not a bad idea.”  He gave her a wink. 

She smiled and finally said goodbye, knowing that they could likely stand on the street forever going back and forth.  She arrived at her dad's and resisted the temptation to look in the bag to see what records the Doctor had bought her because she wanted to focus on her visit and she knew if she did, she would be over analyzing each one.   

She left her dad's, probably a little earlier than she normally would, but she wanted to listen to at least one record tonight.  As soon as she walked in to her flat, she took out the records and laid them out on the coffee table.  One of the albums was one she had been wanting to listen to, American Utopia from David Byrne.  The next three were from artists she didn't know, The Kills, The Crookes, and Royal Blood.  She decided to listen to the Kills album first, Ash and Ice, so she poured herself a glass of wine, and then put the album on. 

The first track came on and she instantly liked the beat, an electronic bass line mixed with a drum kit, and then an electric guitar.  She couldn’t help but bob her head to it, which was a good sign that she was going to like it.  Then the singing started and she focused on the lyrics… 

 _Baby save it, we're wasted_    
_I know we_ _gotta_ _slow it down_    
_But when the waves come, you face them_    
_And you know we can't stop it now_  

Well that could be a pretty accurate description of their one night together.  Once they had made it back to his hotel room there was no stopping where the rest of the night was going to go.  She picked up the album jacket to see what this song was called, ‘Doing it to Death’, and she chuckled.  

The next song came on and once again Clara found herself focusing on the lyrics... 

 _I need you_  

 _Don’t ask why it is_  

 _I want strings attached_  

 _Unnatural as it feels_  

Interesting, she thought to herself. 

 _I’m hooked from deep inside_  

 _Call when you’re ready cos I’m ready to ride_  

What the hell?  Another song that made her think of him.  This whole album couldn’t possibly make her do that, or was she just doing it because he gave it to her.  Call when you’re ready, was this his way of telling her that he didn’t care about the rules anymore?  No.  She wasn’t going to go down this road.  She was just simply reading too much into it.  She closed her eyes to really focus on the music and listened to the next song. 

 _When I hear your name_    
_It's like a freight train_    
_Shaking me_    
_Off my tracks_  

Then the next. 

 _It got too complicated_    
_Cool it down and refrigerate it_    
_We could be lassoing the stars_    
_But people don't make it easy_  

And then the next. 

 _You're really getting close to me_    
_So far so close to me_    
_So point me to a yes no yes no yes_    
_Don't tell me maybe_  

The song finished and the first side of the album was done.  Clara got up and took it off the turn table, deciding she couldn’t listen to any more.  She really liked the band, and the sound really appealed to her, but the combination of sexy beats and lyrics were beginning to make her head spin.  She knew she was simply reading too much into it, but he knew a lot about music, so he had to have known what he was doing in giving her this album.  But how could he possibly know all the lyrics to the songs.  Unless this album reminded him of her.  She almost wished she had his number to text him and find out if he had ulterior motives to giving her this, but she was glad she didn’t because she didn’t need to make a fool of herself if she were wrong.  She had never been so confused about a man in her entire life.  She liked him.  A lot.  So why should she let university get in the way of what she wanted.  If he were interested in her, there was no way he would make the first move.  After all, he had a lot more to lose than her, so of course he wouldn’t be the one to pursue her.  She had to do it.  If she were just a little more forward, would he go for it?  There was only one way to find out. 

\---------- 

During Monday’s lecture, the Doctor reminded the class of their assignment to write a report on a live concert and the ways in which it could be used as a form of communicating.  He provided them with a list of shows that were coming up in the next few weeks and said that these were merely suggestions, but that they had to write about a recent show and not something they had seen in the past.  Bill, Clara and Jack were looking over the list when Clara noticed that Royal Blood was going to be playing this weekend.  That was one of the bands the Doctor had given her, but she hadn’t had a chance to listen to it yet.   

“Hey why don’t we go to this one on Friday night.”  Clara suggested. 

“Oh, I’ve heard of them.”  Bill said. “I’m totally down for that.” 

“Yeah, sounds good.”  Jack added.  “Let me just see if there are tickets.”  He pulled out his phone to start searching. 

“Oh, get me an extra one.”  Bill said.  “For Heather.” 

“I take it things are going well?”  Clara asked. 

“Yes, very well.”  

“That's great Bill.  Now I just need to get Mr. Silverfox to notice me and we’ll all be set.”  Jack replied. 

“What about Clara?  Unless you have some mystery man you aren't telling us about.”  Bill said. 

“Oh no mystery man.”  She answered as she glanced at the Doctor.  Just a man that's completely off limits. 

“Okay, so I can get 4 tickets.  Good?” 

The girls nodded in agreement and Jack bought the tickets.  Clara was excited to go to the show since it had been months since she was last at one.  She was also kind of hoping that because the Doctor obviously liked this band, that maybe he would be there.  She looked his way and noticed that he was still packing up his bag, which seemed to be taking a little longer than usual.  She wondered if maybe he was hoping to walk out with her, so she decided she would take her time as well. 

“Hey, why don't you guys go on ahead to the Walrus.  I just want to finish a couple of notes here before I forget.”  Clara suggested. 

“You sure?”  Jack said. 

“Yeah, order me a pint, I won't be long.” 

Once her two friends were gone, she packed up her notes and noticed that it was just the Doctor and her left.  He looked up from his bag and evidently noticed the same thing.   

“So, did you listen to any of the albums?”  He asked as he grabbed his stuff and walked towards her. 

“Just Ash and Ice.”  She replied staring intently to see if his expression gave anything away. 

“And what did you think?” 

Well that was a loaded question.  She had way too many thoughts, not so much about the music, but the intention behind it. 

“I really liked it.  It has the kind of beat that you can't help moving to.  Really sexy.  Especially when combined with the lyrics.  I mean that one song with the line, I could make you come in threes.  Really hot.” 

He stared at her and she wasn't sure what he was thinking, she was either right about why he gave her that album or she was completely off. 

“Siberian Nights.”  He answered telling her the name of the song and nothing more. 

“Yeah, that's it.”  She smiled at him.  “The whole album just really made me think.  The lyrics could really be interpreted different ways, depending on who's listening and your current mood.” 

“Yeah, I've often thought that about many songs.  Well at least the ones by good song writers.”  He added as they started walking towards the door. 

“I never really thought about how music can be used to communicate so much.”  She said as he opened the door for her and they walked through and stopped as they were heading in different directions. 

“How so?”  He asked. 

“Oh, like if someone wanted to tell someone how they felt, but couldn’t.  They could do it through music.”  She looked him in the eyes hoping that he would give her something that would tell her she was right about why he gave her that album. 

He returned her gaze and the corners of his mouth turned up ever so slightly.  “You’re a very clever woman, Ms. Oswald.” 

She gave him a wide smile at the compliment and even though he didn’t outright say she was right, she suddenly felt more confident in that she was. 

“I’ll see you Wednesday.”  He said as he started to turn and leave. 

“Not unless I see you sooner.”  She replied and he gave her a quick smile before walking away.   

It was wrong what she was thinking, but she didn’t care anymore.  She wanted him and she was going to have him. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are interested in checking out the band mentioned in this chapter, you can find them here... Royal Blood

Friday night couldn’t have come soon enough.   She was really looking forward to the concert tonight and trying really hard to not get her hopes up that the Doctor might be there.   On the off chance that he might, she carefully chose an outfit that was both casual and sexy for a night out.   She was wearing a  pair of skin - tight black jeans with a  deep red  and black lace corset tank top that  really highlighted her curves.   She finished the look with her  black leather motorcycle jacket and studded biker boots.   She  checked herself out in the front hall mirror before leaving and thought that if she couldn't pick the Doctor up looking like  this, she would never be able to do it.

When she arrived at the club , she spotted Jack waiting in  queue  with Bill and Heather.   They were all looking like they were ready for a night out and she thought that even if the Doctor wasn't here, she was going to have a good time tonight.

“Well look at you sexy.”  Jack said as she approached. “You must be on the pull tonight.”

“Jack!”  Bill exclaimed.

“What?  She looks hot as hell.  If she doesn't go home with someone tonight then I'll take her home with me.”

“I'll take that as a compliment.”  Clara laughed.   “You guys look really great too.”

The group chatted, while waiting for the doors to open and after about  fifteen minutes the  queue  finally started to move.  Once they got inside , they grabbed some drinks and made their way towards the stage.   While they were talking Clara kept looking around hoping to see the  Doctor.  She wasn't paying much attention to her friends and was just simply agreeing and nodding as they did most of the talking.  Finally, as she glanced back to the doors her heart jumped and her stomach fluttered.  There he was with JD.  And he looked so good.   It was clear that he had put some product in his hair, as his silver curls looked perfect.   He was wearing jeans and a  black  skull print t-shirt underneath  a black blazer.  She watched as he and JD walked up closer and she debated if she should try and get his attention , but suddenly felt incredibly nervous and wasn't sure why.

She must have been staring a bit too long , causing Jack to look at what she was looking at.

“Well, well, well. ”  He said.  “It's the dynamic Scottish duo.”

Bill and Heather turned to see what Jack was talking about and Bill explained to Heather about the bet Jack and Clara had  made.  

“Oh , I think I might as well just give Clara the 100 quid now.”  He said.

“What?”  Clara said surprised .

“It's pretty clear that I'm not going to win and I think I have more of an interest in JD , I just can't determine which team he's playing for, which is leading me to think maybe both.”

“Well seems to me this might be the perfect chance to find out.”  Bill said.

“I think you're right.  Shall we go say hi ladies.”

Before they had a chance to agree, Jack was making his way through the  small crowd and over to the men.   As they got closer, Clara locked eyes with the Doctor who ’s jaw dropped slightly when he got a good look at what she was wearing .

“Well if it isn’t my two favourite lecturers.”  Jack said as he approached them.

“Hey Jack and friends.”  JD said.

Clara suddenly remembered that she wasn’t supposed to know JD and she hoped that he remembered that as well.  The Doctor looked at JD and Clara could have sworn he was trying to telepathically tell JD the same thing she was thinking.  Luckily at that point the lights dimmed and the opening band took the stage.  They all turned to face the stage, with the Doctor standing behind Clara .   The music started and  She tried really hard to focus on the band and not the man behind her, but that was impossible.  After a few songs,  she looked to her right and saw that Heather and Bill both looked like they were really enjoying themselves and were really into the band.  She turned back to the stage and tried again to focus, but really couldn’t.  She decided that maybe she should get another drink so she leaned over to Bill and told her she was heading to the bar and she would be back.  When she turned, she saw that the Doctor had his eyes on her, so she took a step towards him, putting her hand on his arm as she stood on her toes to speak closer to his ear as he leaned his head down towards her.

“I’m going to the bar.  You want anything?”  She asked.

It was his turn to move his head to speak in her ear.

“I’ll come with you.”  He answered and the two began to make their way through the crowd.

When they reached the bar, it was a little quieter, so the Doctor asked Clara what she wanted to drink and ordered for the two of them. 

“Thanks.”  She said as he handed her a drink.

“You’re welcome.”  He smiled at her.

The nervousness that she was feeling was suddenly gone and was replaced with the confidence she had earlier.  She saw how the Doctor had looked at her, leaving very little doubt that he thought she looked good, which made her feel like she could be assertive.

“I was hoping I'd see you tonight.”  Clara said.

“Really?”  The Doctor questioned, sounding surprised.

“Well you did give me their album, so I thought that might mean you’re a fan.”

“I am.”  He said as he glanced around almost as if he were checking to see that no one was around who might know them.  “I was, uh, kind of hoping to see you too.”

Clara smiled at his nervousness, which only made him look more handsome then he already was.   They held each other’s gaze and  Clara  wished  so badly  they could  go find a dark corner to enjoy the show, but she knew they  couldn’t do that .

“We should  probably  head back.”   She finally said.

“Yeah.”  He replied and took her hand to help lead her through the crowd that was starting to gather.

As they approached their friends, he dropped her hand, leaving Clara to feel disappointed at the loss of contact, but knowing why he did. They resumed their spots, but this time Clara couldn’t help but notice the Doctor was standing a little closer to her, occasionally feeling his chest against her back.  They remained that way until  the  opening band finished and the lights came back on , at which point the Doctor took a step away from her.

“I really liked them.”  Jack said to the group .

“Yeah, they were good.”  JD added and he looked at Clara and then Heather .   “Who are your friends Bill and Jack?”

Bill introduced her date to both JD and the Doctor and then Clara pretended she was meeting JD for the first time.  The little group chatted some more about the band until Bill and Heather decided to go get a drink.

“I think I could use another one as well. ”  Jack said.  “Anyone else want anything?”

“ I'm okay.”  Clara said.  She really wanted to make sure she didn't get drunk tonight, so thought it best to slow down on the drinks.

“I could use another.”   JD said.  “I'll go with you.  Doctor?”

“Nah.  I'm good.”

Jack gave Clara a look that told her he thought he was making progress with JD and she just smiled at him as they walked away.

“I'm going to guess that Jack has moved on to JD.”  The Doctor said once they were out of ear shot.

“Your guess would be correct.”

“Well that's good .” He replied.

“What you wouldn't switch to the other team for Jack?”  Clara teased him.

“Not when there's an incredibly sexy woman standing in front of me.”  He gave her a flirtatious smile.

“Thanks.”  She replied.  

He was about to say something to her but then he looked behind her and she turned to see  that he was looking at Bill and Heather.  Once they were back the Doctor excused himself to use the loo, leaving the girls alone until  Jack and JD returned. It wasn't much longer before the lights dimmed again and Royal Blood took to the stage.  Clara looked back to see where the Doctor was, but there was no sign of him.  She turned back around and focused on the opening chords of the music, but was worried he wouldn't be able to make it back up to them from the amount of people that had now gathered.  It was half way through the second song that someone tapped her on the shoulder and she turned to the Doctor handing her a drink.  She mouthed thanks to him and he smiled as she took it, hoping the others wouldn't notice that he had bought her a drink.  She turned back around, now able to pay more attention to the stage,  and started bobbing her head to the music.  They were good and Clara was really enjoying them.  It wasn’t long before the music started moving down her body and her shoulders and hips were moving in time with the electric rhythm.   She felt a hand on her hip immediately followed by the hot breath of the Doctor on her neck.

“I take it you like them.”  He said into her ear.  The  warmth from his breath trickled down her neck and she felt the heat rise within her.  

She turned her head to answer him and found his lips were so close to hers that she could have easily kissed him, if they weren’t surrounded by her friends.  She looked him in the eyes and nodded her head while giving him a flirty smile.  He stood back up, but he didn’t remove his hand from her hip right away.  Instead she felt him moving behind her and she knew that this would be the closest they could get to dancing with each other.   As the night went on, he would carefully touch her waist, her hip, her arm, all for brief moments.  Then she’d feel the ever so slight  pressing of his  front against her  back , which could have been taken as either an accident because of the crowded space or intentional.  She was choosing to think it was the latter.

When the concert ended the little group made their way out of the venue and it became clear that no one was ready for the night to end.   Jack suggested they go to a bar that was just up the street and everyone agreed to go, except for Bill and Heather, whom Clara suspected were going home to continue their night alone.  

Jack led them over to the bar, which wasn’t that far away and when they got there, they got a booth towards the back.  JD slid into one side and before anyone else had a chance to sit next to him, Jack did.  That meant the Doctor and Clara had no choice but to sit across from them, next to each other.  They ordered drinks and started talking about the concert.  While they were chatting, Clara felt like being a little bold and made the same move she  did the first night she met the Doctor.  She placed her hand on top of this thigh, knowing that neither JD or Jack could see what she was doing under the table.  She saw the Doctor glance down and then his arm  started to move.  For a moment she thought he was going to move her hand, but instead he placed his softly on top of hers and began to slowly caress it with his thumb.  The sensation caused her heart to flutter and for her to start thinking about her next move.   She was starting to feel more and more confident that this night was going to end the way she wanted it to, she just wished Jack and JD weren’t here.  Their conversation eventually led to a discussion about music and Clara remembered that JD and Jack both shared a love for the Proclaimers.

“So how much did you love Royal Blood?  Enough to replace the Proclaimers as your  favourite band?”  Clara asked Jack.

JD turned and looked at him.  “Finally, someone who has good taste in music.”

At some point during the conversation, Clara had moved her hand off the Doctor’s thigh, but it wasn’t long before she felt his on hers.  She wondered if the flirting they were doing all night would actually lead to something if she could manage to get him alone.  As the conversation continued , she kept thinking of ways to get him home without it being too obvious.  After the first round of drinks  was done, Clara decided to make her next move to see if the Doctor would take the bait.

“Well guys, this has been fun, but I think I’m going to head home.”

“Are you sure?”  Jack said, trying to make it seem that he was disappointed she was leaving him with the two men he found most attractive.

“Yeah.  It’s been a long day and I want to catch the tube before it stops running.”

The Doctor slid out of the booth to let her out.

“I think I might take off too.  I’ve got a long ride home.”   He said.

“Well JD, are you going to leave too, or shall we get another round.”  Jack asked.  

JD looked at the Doctor before giving his answer and Clara thought that it almost looked like he was checking to see if the Doctor wanted him to leave with him or not.  She glanced at him and saw him give a slight shake of his head, before JD answered. “I think I’ll stay for one more.”

The Doctor and Clara said their  goodbyes to the other two and made their way outside.  Once they were there, Clara lost a bit of her confidence as she didn’t want to appear too forward. 

“Well I’m heading that way to the tube.”  She said as she pointed to the North.

“ Uhm , I think I might grab a cab.”  The Doctor answered.

“Okay then.  Well  uhm , it was fun tonight.”   She said nervously.

“It was.”  He said nodding his head.  Clara wasn’t sure, but she thought he almost seemed nervous as well.  “Look, why don’t I get the cab to drop you off.”

“Oh, it’s okay.  It’s probably out of the way.”  She said not wanting to appear too eager at taking his offer.

“You live near the university, right?”  He asked.

“Yeah.”  

“Then it’s not out of the way.  Please.  I’ll feel better knowing you got home safe.”  He insisted.

“Well okay then.”  She finally agreed.

They hailed a cab and Clara gave the driver her address.  She wasn’t entirely sure what to do now that she was one step closer to getting him to her flat.  She needed to get him to agree to come in, but how could she do that without just simply saying, hey do you fancy a shag?  He had been flirting with her all night, just as she had been with him, so maybe he was expecting this night to end the same way she was hoping.  She glanced over at him and he was staring straight ahead, almost as if he were deep in thought as well.

“I think I might listen to the album when I get home.”  She said and he turned and looked at her.  “Might help with the assignment.”

“That’s a good idea.”  He smiled at her.

That damn smile of his.  It would get her every time.  She took a deep breath and decided to just be bold.

“Do you want to come in for a drink and listen with me?”  Her heart was beating a mile a minute waiting for him to answer.  He stared at her, not saying anything, and she could tell that he was really thinking about what he should do.  She could see the conflict in his eyes and she almost regretted asking him.  Knowing that if things went to the next level, he had a lot more to lose than her.  She shouldn’t be putting him in this position.

“I don’t know, Clara.”  He finally answered.  He turned and looked out the window.  “I really want to, but I know that I shouldn’t.  I really, really shouldn’t.”

It was almost killing her how much she wanted him.  She wanted so much to take him into her arms and tell him, it’s okay, we can do this, no one needs to know.  She also wasn’t ready for the night to end.  Could she invite him in for one drink and it not lead to more?  Deep inside she knew the answer, but she didn’t want to know the truth.  Not right now.

“It’s just a drink.  Just one drink.”  She said.  

The cab slowed down and stopped and she looked out to see that they were in front of her flat.

“This is me.”  She said.  “So, what will it be?”

He looked at her and then turned and looked at her flat, while all she could do was hold her breath waiting for his answer.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments on the last chapter. I highly recommend that you listen to this album while you read the next... [The Kills - Ash & Ice](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=498zUzNGQxY&list=OLAK5uy_kpyfNTpPBfBwagL520AlLs4R2U-zXeZ_I) However, if you don't want to listen to the whole thing, this track is a must... [The Kills - Impossible Tracks](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haEqhj76z3I&list=OLAK5uy_kpyfNTpPBfBwagL520AlLs4R2U-zXeZ_I&index=10)
> 
> Enjoy!

The Doctor looked back to Clara as she was staring at him waiting for  an answer .

“ I think we both know it's not going to be just a drink.”   He said.

“I understand if you don't want to come in.”  She said wanting to let him know that she didn't want to pressure him.  “Just one drink, that's all, if you want.”  She thought maybe if she was casual about it, it might make it easier for him to make a decision.

He gave a long sigh, while he continued  to stare at her .   He then reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet, handing the cab driver money.   “One drink.”

They got out of the cab and made their way into her flat in silence.  Once she opened the door, she flipped on the light switch, casting a warm glow to the room, then took her jacket and boots off.  The Doctor took his shoes off too and they made their way into her flat.

“Nice place.”  He remarked.

“Thanks.  It was my Gran’s, but she's living with my dad now, so I took it over.”  She was feeling a little more confident now that she had him in her flat, but she still wasn't sure where this was going.  She had meant what she said in the cab and she wasn't going to push him.  The ball was completely in his court now.

“Feel free to put a record on while I  grab us a drink.”  She said as she pointed towards her albums.   “I only have wine, so I hope that's okay.”

“Yeah, that's fine.”  He said as he moved into her living room.

She walked into the kitchen and grabbed some glasses.  She had just started pouring when she heard the song, Doing it to Death, from her Kills album.  She smiled, of course he would put this one on.  She grabbed the glasses and walked into the living room where the Doctor was sitting on the couch. 

“This isn't Royal Blood.”  She said as she handed him a glass.

“No , it's not.”   He took the glass and watched her as she sat next to him, but facing him.   He shifted his body to turn towards her.

“Why did you choose this one?”  She asked.

“What’s the one word you would use to describe this album?”  He asked and Clara smiled at him, always the professor, answering a question with a question.

“Sexy.”  She replied.

He looked at her gave her a smile and a short nod.  She looked into his eyes and for the first time in a long time she saw what she saw their first night.  Pure desire.  Any hesitation he had was gone.  They both took a sip of their wine, while their eyes remained locked, the beat of the music making the moment a bit more intense then it would have been without it.  She moved her eyes down to his lips, those lips that had once felt so soft and tender on her skin.  

“Why did you choose to wear that top?”  He asked, his eyes turning dark with  want .

“What’s one word you’d use to describe it?”  She asked throwing his question back at him.

His lips very slowly turned into a sly smile.  “Sexy.”

She returned his smile and nodded as he moved his hand up and cupped the side of her face.  She sighed at finally feeling his touch and leaned into it.

“Are you sure about this?”  He whispered.

“Are you?”  She asked back.  “Have you ever been sure?”

“No.”  He said as he inched closer.

She leaned into him and smiled.  “Then what are you waiting for?”

He answered her by closing the distance and capturing her lips with his.  There was almost a sense of relief that washed over Clara as she finally felt what she had been longing for since the first time they had kissed.  But the relief didn't last long as it was soon replaced by hunger.  They had been dancing around this moment for so long and she was now anxious to feel every part of him.  His lips were moving over hers, soft at first, then more ravenous.  He was coaxing her to open for him and she eagerly did, allowing his tongue to sweep through her mouth.

_ ‘I need you' _ , blasted out of the speaker and Clara thought there was never a truer lyric for a moment.  She needed him, like she needed air, water, more than she had ever needed anything.  She felt his hand that was caressing her cheek move into her hair  and then  to the back of her head, drawing her into him.    She moved with him and straddle his lap, placing her hands on his chest.  The song changed and as the beat picked up so did their kissing.  At first, she thought it was her imagination, but it wasn't, he was kissing her in time with the music.  She smiled against his lips and thought two can play this game as she began moving her hips with the beat, intentionally rubbing his arousal.  He moaned, and his hands that were on her back moved down to her rear, grabbing her to help her maintain the rhythm.  As the song changed and became slower, the Doctor moved his lips to behind her ear.

_ “W _ _ hen I hear your name, it's like a freight train, shaking me off my tracks. _ _ ” _ __ The Doctor sang the lyric in her ear, and she shivered at hearing his raspy Scottish brogue so close to her.   She felt it vibrate down her body right to her core.

“Oh John.”  She sighed, which caused him to stop and look at her.  She opened her eyes and was surprised to see him gazing at her.

“What?”  She said, hoping that he hadn’t changed his mind.

“You called me John.”  He answered.

“Well isn’t that your name?”  She smiled at him.

“Yeah, it’s just that no one ever uses it.”  

“Sorry, it just felt weird to call you Doctor.”

“No, don’t apologize.”  He said as he smiled at her.  “I like the way it sounds coming from your lips.”

He kissed her again, slow and tender, and Clara thought she never wanted this moment to end.  She needed to feel more of him, needed him to touch her.  The tempo of the song grew faster and so did his movements as his hands finally cupped her breasts, massaging them over the silky material of her bustier.  She moaned into his mouth, longing to feel his touch on her bare skin and then, as if he had read her mind, he slid his hands around her back and began to undo the top clasp and then the next, moving down her back, plucking each hook as if  each were a string on a guitar.  He reached the bottom and released the last  hook then ran his hands up her now bare back, moving towards the straps on her shoulders.  But before he could reach them, freeing her completely, Clara pulled away from him and stood up.  He whimpered at the loss of contact, and she knew she now had the upper hand.  She swayed her hips to the beat of the music as she brought her hands up to the straps and toyed with them, while never breaking eye contact with him.  She watched as his tongue darted out and ran along his lips and then just as the song ended, Clara pulled the straps down and tossed her bustier at him.

“Gorgeous.”  He sighed.

She smiled at him and then turned towards the record player to flip the album over.  She heard him get up off the couch and she hoped he was losing some of his layers, but before she could turn around, she felt one of his hands on her hip and the other sweeping the hair off her neck.  She sighed as his lips came in  to  contact with her shoulder and he began moving up towards her ear.  The opening chords of ‘Siberian Nights' started to play and as soon as the lyrics began , he was singing along to them.

“ _ I could whip you up like cream.  I could drink your seven seas. _ ”  He slid his hands around her waist.  

“ _ Is that too close for comfort _ ?”  His fingers fluttered over her abdomen  as if he  were playing her like an instrument that he had studied for a lifetime and knew exactly what moves to make to elicit the perfect melody.

“ _ I could make you come in threes.  I’m half way to my knees _ .”  He sang the lyric she had quoted to him.  “ _ Am I too close for comfort _ ?”

Clara couldn't take any more of this slow dance.  She needed more and she needed it now.  She turned in his arms and walked him back to the couch, but before she pushed him down, she kissed him, hard, leaving no doubt in his mind how she wanted things to move.  He reached for the button on her jeans and she tore his blazer off.  Hands began moving frantically, removing the rest of their clothes, lips only being unlocked long enough for Clara to  pull the Doctor's t-shirt off.  Finally, once all that remained were their  pants , she pushed him down onto the couch and admired the sight before her just as she could tell he was admiring the sight before him.

“Don’t move.”  She said to him as she turned and walked towards  the hall that led to her bedroom.

“Oh, I’m not going anywhere , luv .”  She smiled at hearing him call h er that.   “But where are you going?”

“Just getting something.”  She said as she stepped into her room and then emerged a moment later.  She walked back in and dropped a foil packet on the coffee table.  He looked at it and then grinned at her as she straddled his lap again.

“Now, where were we?”  She asked as she started nibbling on his ear.

“I think we were right about here.”  He replied as he pulled away from her lips and leaned down to her breast, drawing a  taut peak into his mouth.

Clara moaned at finally feeling his tongue swirling around her nipple and a wave of heat rippled through her body.  She wanted more, so much more because she wasn't sure what this night meant, and if this was going to be all she got she wanted to make the most of it.  She reached between them and started rubbing his hard shaft through his boxers.  She felt his moan vibrate around her breast and his hands moved to her rear to pull her centre closer to him.  The song switched to a slow melody, and once again he moved her hips over his arousal in time to the tempo.  It was the hottest thing she had ever experienced.

“Oh , fuck John.”   She hissed.

He released the nipple he was sucking on and  ravenously  kissed her.

“You have no idea what it does to me when I hear you say my name. ”   He said as he tore his mouth away to move down her neck.

“I think I'm getting an idea.”  She replied.

He moved his hands up her sides and grabbed both her breasts, squeezing them together, latching his lips around one nipple and then the other.  Clara threw her head back in ecstasy, which only thrust her chest into him more.  The Doctor continued his assault as she gyrated back and forth, working him up as she felt him get even harder.  One of his hands flew from her breast to her thigh and then slid up towards her core, where he started pleasuring her through the lace of her knickers.

“ Ahhhh .”  She sighed at finally feeling him touch her where she needed it.

“Feels good?”  He asked.

“So good.”  

“How about this?”  He asked as he moved his hand down her pants and began running his finger through her wet folds.

“ Ooooooh , even better.”

The song changed to ‘Impossible tracks', and the Doctor began moving his hand  to the beat,  as he slipped a finger inside her and she couldn't help but close her eyes as she focused on the lyrics and the way  he was moving inside her

_ I was carried away _

She arched her back, the Doctor holding her with one arm as his fingers thrust deeper into her with the other and  his mouth latched on to her nipple, pulling, teasing, rolling his tongue around it.

_Oh my shaking heart_    
_You got me from the start_    
_You got me good_

She groaned as he started stroking the bundle of nerves deep inside her to the electric beat of the song.

 _Oh you get what you give_    
_I don't regret what I did_

Her body was vibrating with pleasure and her senses were in  overdrive, every sensation feeling a thousand times stronger.

_Oh don't you take me all this way_    
_To bring me back to earth one day_

Her breathing deepened as she felt her orgasm building.  Her thrusts, her breathing, her moans were all in tuned to the music and the wave that was building, growing bigger and stronger, as his thumb caressed her centre of pleasure.

 _And we hold our smiles inside_    
_Like we're holding back the tide_    
_And we stride in perfect meter_    
_Like the sun won't ever rise_

She was drowning in ecstasy as her breathing shortened and her moans became louder.   

_Now I'm coming apart_    
_Like I knew I would_    
_I knew I would_

“Oh  John !!!!”  She screamed her release as the song ended.


	10. Chapter 10

Clara fell forward onto John, her body buzzing and her head spinning as she was getting her breathing under control after her orgasm.  This man was like a drug and she wanted more.  The Doctor began caressing her back, trying to help her calm down, but it was only sending tingles up her spine and making her feel aroused again. 

“Good?”  He asked quietly in her ear. 

“Fuck yeah.”  she said as she sat up and looked at him.  “But I'm not done yet.” 

He didn't say anything, but just grinned at her as she reached down and began rubbing him through his boxers.  She locked eyes with him while she continued massaging him, making him harder and harder.  She was getting more and more turned on and wanted to feel more of him, so she stood up and hooked her fingers into the waistband of his pants.  The Doctor raised his hips as she began to pull them off and his erection sprang free.  She kneeled on the floor in front of him and licked her lips at the sight of his long, thick member, ready for her to devour.  She reached up and took him in her hand, slowly pumping his silky length.  He hissed as soon as she touched his naked flesh and Clara smiled, knowing the pleasure she was about to bring him.  She leaned in closer and ran her tongue from the base of his shaft to the head, then swirled her tongue around the tip. 

“Oh, fuck Clara.”  He moaned.   

She looked up at him as he was intently watching, almost as if he were studying her, as she placed soft kisses on the tip.  He sighed again so she knew she was doing something right.  She continued stroking him as she began to take his stiffness between her lips, then she slowly began moving down his shaft.  Once she reached the bottom, she flattened her tongue against the underside and applied a little pressure as she came back up.  She loved the feel of his hard cock in her mouth and as much as she was trying to take her time and draw out his pleasure, she just wanted to engulf him.  She began to bob her head on his hardness, taking him faster and faster, his moans growing louder and louder.  She pulled her mouth off of him, but continued spreading her saliva up and down his cock as she stroked him. 

“You like that?”  She asked, knowing that he did but wanting to hear him say it. 

“Oh yeah.”  He sighed. 

“Want more?”  She asked again knowing the answer. 

He nodded and she moved her head down taking him into her hot wet mouth.  Once again, she started slow, but the song changed to a faster beat and she couldn't help but pick up her rhythm to match.  The Doctor groaned and she suddenly felt his hand at the back of her head, not forcing her but moving with her.  She could tell that he was close to his release, feeling him twitch and throb inside her mouth. 

“Oooh Clara.  Ahhh, I need... ugh… to be inside you.”  He groaned. 

She stopped and reached for the condom on the table.  She ripped open the packet and placed the round disk in between her lips before bending forward and taking his erection in her mouth as she slowly rolled the condom down, while staring him in the eyes.  She held his gaze as she moved back up and then down again to ensure it was fully on.  His hands were on her shoulders pulling her up, an urgency in his grasp as he reached out and yanked her pants down once she was on her feet.  She sat on his lap, holding his manhood between them ready to lift her hips and sink down on to him.  They couldn't take their eyes off each other and Clara was sure the Doctor was seeing the same hunger reflected at him that he was reflecting to her.  She grabbed his shoulder as she raised her hips and positioned his throbbing erection at her entrance, running the tip through her folds before she finally sank down on him, both moaning at the connection.  Clara didn't want to rush this, but the second she felt him fill her, she knew she wasn't going to be able to control herself.  She started a slow ride, up and down, up and down, as she thrust her tongue into the Doctor's waiting mouth.  A duel began between their tongues, swirling and caressing as the pleasure was building within them both.  The Doctor’s hands tightened their grip on her hips, urging her to go faster, driving his hardness deeper.   

“Oh yes, John!”  She moaned, tearing her mouth away from his. 

He began to feast on her breasts and she had never felt so ravished.  His tongue swirling and lapping at her nipples, while he plunged deeper and deeper.  She never wanted this moment to end, never wanted the pleasure to stop.  Neither of them was holding back. They had spent too long doing that, and now was the time to let their pent-up desire erupt like a volcano.  Clara changed her angle slightly and with each thrust the Doctor would hit the spot deep inside her that sent pulses through her body.  She began to moan a little louder, unable to stay quiet even if she wanted to. 

“That's it, luv.”  The Doctor panted.  “Come for me.” 

It was obvious she was getting close, as was he.  She was beginning to quiver and she could see beads of sweat forming on his forehead.  He reached between them and began to circle her bundle of nerves, urging her release.  She could feel the explosion that was about to happen, it felt like her body was vibrating at a different frequency.  A frequency that was a tuned to him, the music, everything.  Finally, she felt his cock throbbing, pulsing inside her, and there was no holding back. 

“Oooooohh John!”  She screamed. 

“Aghhhhhh!”  The Doctor grunted, as he climaxed with her. 

Clara fell forward and laid on top of him for a moment trying to catch her breath.  She began to feel the Doctor soften and knew she should move, so she rolled onto the couch and watched as he got up and walked towards the bathroom.  She had had plenty of sex in her day, but none of it compared to the two times she had now done it with him.  She had another taste and she knew she wouldn’t be satisfied with not having more.  But what did this night mean?  Would they now have a secret relationship until she graduated or would they try and go back to the way things were?  But, how could they?  It was pretty obvious that they couldn’t be around each other without flirting and that the flirting would inevitably lead to what happened tonight.  The Doctor stepped out of the bathroom and leaned against the door frame, staring at her as she was now reclining on the couch. 

“Enjoying the view?”  She asked with a grin. 

“Yes, actually I am.”  He said as he walked towards her.  “But I think I might enjoy it more if you were stretched out on a bed.” 

“Is that so?” 

“Yeah, I’m not done with you and what I have planned is going to require more room than this sofa.”  He extended a hand to her to help her get up. 

“And what exactly do you have planned?”  She asked as she stood. 

“ _I could make you come in threes.”_  He sang, as he lifted her up over his shoulder causing her to squeal in surprise and laugh.  “I believe you’re owed one more.”   

\---------- 

Clara woke up the next morning feeling completely sated and sore.  She stretched and then smiled as she rolled over, but quickly frowned at seeing the Doctor was gone.  Was it all a dream?  It couldn’t have been.  Something that felt that amazing couldn’t have been a dream.  She could still feel his mouth on her, the way his tongue drank her up as if he hadn’t drunk for a week.  He had brought her into her room, threw her on the bed and ravished her sex, like no man had ever done before, and when he was finished, he held her as she came down.  They had fallen asleep in each other’s arms and now she was waking up alone.  She got up, thinking that maybe he might be in the loo, but when she stepped outside her room, she noticed his clothes were gone from the living room floor.  How could he just leave and not at least leave a note?  Her head was spinning with so many questions and no way of getting answers until she saw him on Monday.  God!  How could she go to class on Monday and sit there, knowing the things they had done to each other last night.  She needed to get her thoughts under control before she made herself mad.  She glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost noon, so she found her mobile and called Amy telling her she needed to talk to her and for her to get over here now. 

Forty minutes later, after Clara had showered and made coffee, she was opening the door to Amy. 

“Okay what was so urgent that I had to drop what I was doing to get over here?”  She asked as she stepped in and walked towards the living room. 

“I slept with the Doctor.”  Clara blurted out. 

What?!”  Amy exclaimed as she turned and looked at her. 

“You heard me.”  Clara said as she sat down on the couch.  Amy took a seat in the chair next to her. 

“But how, when, where?”  She stammered out her questions. 

“I’m pretty sure you know the how.  Last night, and here.”  Clara replied. 

“Here, in your flat, here.”  Amy said, still completely surprised. 

“Yes, here in my flat.  Well here on the couch, to be exact.” 

“Okay, TMI and gross.  I’m never sitting there again.”  Amy said.  “Clara can you please start at the beginning.” 

Clara sighed and filled Amy in on her night.  She listened patiently and didn’t interrupt, while Clara told her about the flirting during the concert which led to the mind-blowing night of orgasms, and her waking up alone. 

“How could he just leave, Amy?”  Clara said with sadness. 

“You mean like you did the first time you two slept together?” 

“I didn’t leave before he woke up.”  Clara replied defensively. 

“True, but still, kind of the same.”  Amy said.   

“Not helping.”  Clara looked at her annoyed, that she wasn’t making her feel better. 

“Sorry.  You’re right.  I’m sure there’s a perfectly good reason as to why he left.  Maybe he couldn’t find any paper to leave you a note and he had somewhere he needed to be?” 

“There was paper and a pen on my desk.  All he had to do was look there and he would have seen it.” 

“I don’t know what to tell you Clara.”  Amy said.  “You said he was hesitant in the cab, maybe in the light of day his fears returned.” 

“Maybe.”  Clara sighed and threw her head into her hands.  “What am I going to do Amy?  I’ve never felt this kind of connection with a man before.” 

Amy got up and sat next to Clara, patting her back.  “You're going to march into his office on Monday, demand an explanation and then tell him how you feel.  Be straight with him.  And if he's as interested in you as you are of him, you can wait until you graduate.” 

“You make it sound so easy and when did you get so sensible?”  Clara asked. 

“Maybe mum instincts are kicking in or Rory's rubbing off on me.”  She replied. 

Clara smiled at her, thankful that she at least had Amy to talk about all this with.   

“I've never seen you like this before.  You've got it bad for this guy, don't you?”  Amy said. 

Clara just looked at her and nodded, afraid of saying out loud what she knew she was beginning to feel.  Amy would think she was crazy and confusing lust for love.  Hell, maybe she was.  But she had been in love once and she knew that what she was feeling now was what she had felt before.   


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well let's see what is going on with the Doctor!

Monday morning finally arrived after an agonizingly long weekend.  Clara had spent most  of the time analyzing her night with the Doctor and wondering why he didn’t stay.  She had tried to distract herself with homework, but it was no use, her mind always came back to him.  She should have never given into temptation, but that was her, always acting on her impulses.  

She got to the  uni a little earlier than she usually did, likely because of  her nerves and the lack of sleep she had gotten the previous two nights, so she decided to grab a coffee at the café close to her lecture.   She placed her order and was  standing to the side waiting, when the Doctor walked in and their eyes met .   Her heart did a flip and she quickly  looked away, hoping that he would just order a simple coffee and be on his way , but no such luck .   He came and stood next to her, but she didn't look at him despite feeling his eyes on her.

“I'm sorry.”  He said only loud enough for her to hear.   She still didn't respond to him.   “I know this isn't the place to talk, but can we talk later?”

Her name was called and she stepped forward to grab her drink.  As she turned to leave, she finally looked at him ,  giving him a stare so icy it would have frozen Mr. Freeze.   How dare he think that he could so easily be forgiven .  

“ Later.”  She said  coolly and walked away before he could reply.

She walked into the lecture and spotted Jack and Bill sitting in their usual spots .   How was she going to get through this class,  listening to his voice and staring at those eyes that had practically  penetrated her soul two nights ago ?

“So how was the rest of Friday night?”  Bill asked, once Clara was settled in her seat.

“Fine.”  She said plainly.

“Yeah, nothing exciting.”   Jack answered.

“Really?”  Bill questioned.   “I thought for sure one of you was going to hook up.”

Clara looked at her surprised and worried.  She couldn't possibly have seen her and the Doctor flirting.  She had been fixated on Heather.

“Well it wasn't me.”  Jack said . 

“And it sure as hell wasn't me.”  Clara responded defensively, maybe a little too much.

Just then the Doctor threw open the door and walked over to his desk where  he put his coffee down and then wrestled with his bag to get his lap top out .  Once it was freed, he hooked it up and started right into the lecture, without  even  saying good morning.

“Looks like someone's having a bad day.”  Bill whispered to Clara.  She just nodded and thought that his day was only going to get worse once she talked to him.

The lecture went by pretty  quickly and actually ended a little early, probably because the Doctor didn't take any questions and was  speed talking throughout the whole thing.   Once he was done , he left just as quickly as he came in .

“Well that was interesting.   Wonder what's wrong with him.”  Jack said.

“No clue.”  Clara added, although she had a pretty good idea what was wrong.

“So , lunch ladies?”   Jack asked.

“Not for me, but you two go on.”  Clara answered.

“You sure?”  Jack asked again.

“Yeah, I’ve got a paper I need to research, so I’m going to be holed up in the library all day.”  She answered.

The three left together, but went in opposite directions once they hit the library.  Clara had to pretend she was actually going  in, but waited a few minutes before she left and headed towards the English department.  She spent the trek over trying to think about how the conversation would go, but the truth was she had no idea, because she had no idea what was going on in the Doctor’s head.  She knocked on his door, a little harder than she should have, clearly her anger coming out.  She waited to hear him say come in, but there was no answer.  She was just about to knock again, when the door opened.  The Doctor looked around and then opened the door further for her to come in, but said nothing.  Once she was in, he shut the door behind her and the two of them stood there, just staring at each other, both clearly unsure of what to say.

“Look,” Clara finally said breaking the silence.  “I don’t know if that was supposed to be pay back for what you thought I did to you the first time we slept together, but I thought you were more mature than that and that we had put it all behind us.”

“I’m  sor ..”  The Doctor started to say, but Clara stopped him.

“No.  I don’t want to hear I’m sorry.  I thought we had an amazing night, and that maybe, just maybe we could stop skirting around the issue of you being my  teacher and move towards what could happen when I graduate.  But clearly, I was alone in that thought and you only see me as the young student you can flirt with, then toss aside after we fuck!”  She hadn’t felt angry on the weekend, but now seeing him, her temper flared.

“That is not what I think of you!”  The Doctor spat back, defensively.

“You have a funny way of showing it.”

“I know what I did was wrong and that I should have at least waited until you woke up, but I panicked, okay.  I think you’re familiar with that feeling.”  He bit back.

“So, it  WAS about our one night.”  She said, almost triumphant that she had been right.

“No, it wasn’t!”  He yelled.

Clara flinched at his spark of rage.  He took a deep breath when he noticed this and ran a hand through his hair.  “All I’m saying is that you clearly panicked after our first time, so can’t you at least understand how I could have done the same.”

“No, because I didn’t panic.”  She said.

“Really?!”

“Yes, really!  I feared the inevitable conversation we would have when you got out of the shower.  The one where you tell me, ‘ _ Thanks for the shag, but I’ve  _ _ gotta _ _ go now so let me walk you to the door.”   _ I really liked you that night and I wanted to see you again, which is why I left you my name and number.  If you wanted to reject me than at least it wasn’t being done to my face.”

“I wasn’t going to reject you.”

“I didn’t know that now, did I?!”  She snapped.

“Oh, this is ridiculous!”  He grumbled, frustrated.

“Well at least we can agree  on that!”  She yelled.  She was enraged and had had enough of this argument that kept going around in circles.  “Maybe once you’re done panicking, we can talk.”

She grabbed the door handle and was about to open it.

“Clara, wait.”  The Doctor replied, calmer and desperate to not let her go.

“No.  I can’t talk to you while I’m feeling the way I feel right now.”  She didn’t let him say anything, but instead opened the door and walked out.

\-----------------

That night, Clara debated about calling Rose and telling her about everything, just to get a different opinion on what she should do , but she decided that Rose had enough on her plate and didn’t need to be burdened with her problems.  Instead, she called Amy, who invited her over for dinner and suggested that maybe they tell Rory to get a  male perspective on all of this .  He  was a very logical person and might have a good solution for her.

“I don’t know, Clara.”  Rory said as he was reaching for another helping of mashed potatoes.

“Oh, come on Rory.  You must have some advice for her.”  Amy said.

“Find a time machine to go back and NOT sleep with your  teacher.”   Rory replied.

“Thanks, Rory.”  Clara said sarcastically.

“I’m sorry, but maybe you just need to avoid him until the term is over.”  He suggested.

“Kind of hard when I have to see him twice a week.  I’ve still got three months left until Christmas break.”

“I think Rory makes a valid point, Clara.”  Amy added.  “Go to class, and that’s it.  Really focus on your studies and try not to think about him.”

“Easier said than done .  I’ve been trying to do that, but you see how well that’s been working.”   Clara grumbled.

“I know, but you have to try harder.”   Amy urged.

“I just wish I could figure out why he’s so fixated on why I left his hotel room.  I mean I went to his office to talk about Friday night and it turned into an argument about our one-night stand.”

“You’re going to drive yourself mad analyzing it.”  Rory said.  “Men are not complicated creatures, if you want to know something, ask him.”

They both made really good points and Clara knew that she should listen to them, but she just couldn’t help but feel that there was more to all of this.  She left their house that night, not feeling any better about the whole thing and feeling more anxious than she had when she woke up that morning.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments! It seems these two are frustrating a lot of people. Time to see what happens next...

A couple of weeks had passed since Clara and the Doctor slept together  and argued.   She  had done her best to avoid him outside of class  and  wouldn’t make eye contact with him  in  lectures , keeping  her comments to a minimum during her tutorial  classes.   Luckily, Jack didn’t seem too interested in the Doctor anymore and was happy to leave class straight away and not linger about.   The Doctor , however, didn't look like he was doing that great.   It looked like he hadn't shaved since their argument  and his hair was becoming an unruly mop of curls.   He looked like he hadn't slept and was a disheveled mess.   Clara took some solace in thinking that he was this way because of her, but at the same time felt bad.  He had emailed her a few days after their row, asking to meet, but she just ignored it and never responded.

During this time ,  she had really thrown herself into her studies and  spent a lot of time in the library .  There was something about being surrounded by the smell of books that made her work a little harder and focus on her papers.   She was currently wandering through a row of shelves looking desperately for a book on the social ramifications of media in the 21 st  century, when she felt like someone was watching her.  She looked around and saw the Doctor at the end of the row.  He looked like he had shaved and finally  tamed his hair, and Clara couldn't help but sigh at the sight of him.  She had really missed him and the friendship they had been forming before they fucked it all up.

“Nice  haircut.”   She said, breaking the ice.

“Thanks .  I was told that I should probably clean myself up as I was starting to look like a  vagabond .”

“Yes, you were.  But I did kind of  like  the beard.”    What  was she doing?  Why  was  it that she couldn't help but flirt with him the second they were alone ?

The Doctor smiled and walked towards her,  clearly feeling like she wouldn't run from him .   God ,  she missed that smile.

“So ,  are you following me now?” She asked, trying to change the subject of his sexy facial hair.

“No,  I was looking for some books for a paper I'm writing.”  He held some texts up to her.  “But I am happy  I ran  into you.  I really want to talk to you.”

“I don't know.”   She replied as she turned and  looked  back at the shelf, pretending to search  for a  book.

“Please, Clara. ”  He pleaded.   “I want a chance to explain my actions.”  

She looked back at him and could see the desperation in his eyes.  He looked sad, almost lost.  His normally cross looking features were soft and pleading, how could she say no to that face.

“Fine.”  She agreed.

“Great.  I’ll be in my office between two and seven.  Stop by whenever you can.”  

He left her standing there wondering what she was doing.  She had been so good and now she was going willingly into the lion’s den.  She needed to compose her thoughts and perhaps even prepare some questions that she needed answers to, but first she had a paper that she needed to finish.

Clara glanced at her watch and saw that it was four o’clock and she had made really good progress on her essay, despite her mind wondering to thoughts of the Doctor.  She thought that maybe she would call it quits for today and get her talk with the Doctor over with.  She packed up her stuff and made her way out of the library, where she was surprised to run into Rose.

“Hey!”  She said, both surprised and happy to see her friend.

“Oh, I completely forgot about you being here.”  Rose said as she hugged Clara.

“That’s okay, you’ve got a lot going on in your life.  What brings you here?”  Clara asked.

“ I, uh,  I came by for a lecture .”   She replied.    

“Nice.”  Clara glanced at her watch.   “Do  you have time to grab a coffee?”

“ Sure .  Would be nice to catch up .”   Rose answered.

Clara knew the Doctor would be in his office for a few more hours, so she’d have time to visit with Rose.  It was also a way to put off the inevitable conversation they would have, that she wasn’t looking forward to.   The two women made their way to the closest café and each  ordered  a drink before grabbing a table.

“So, how are your classes?”  Rose asked.

“Good.  I was kind of dreading the idea of being in  uni  again, but I have to admit I kind of missed it.”

“I think I’m beginning to feel like there will never be a time that I’m out of it.”  Rose said.

“Well if you want to be a  lecturer , then likely not.”  Clara said as she smiled at her.  “I’m really impressed Rose.  I never would have thought from the way you partied that you ’d  be this studious.”

“Had to settle down at some point, I guess.”  She looked down at her coffee and Clara couldn’t help but feel that there was something on her mind.

“So, how’s everything going with you?  I don’t want to push too much, but you kind of mentioned things being tough with Allan.”  Clara asked hesitantly.

“It’s okay.”  She said  in a tone that let Clara believe it wasn't .

“You can talk to me, if you want.  I promise I won’t go blabbing to Amy.”  Clara offered.

Rose sighed and looked like she was thinking over her offer.  “It’s just that things have gotten a bit complicated.”

“Complicated how?”  Clara asked, trying not to be too intrusive, but wanting to know more.

Rose didn’t answer right away.  “I don’t want you to think poorly of me.”

“Rose, I would never do that.”   Clara assured her.

“Okay, s omeone I used to date has kind of come back into the picture.”  Rose finally admitted.

“Explain kind of?”  Clara asked.

“I ran into him  at Martha's art opening  and we  started  talking .  I hadn't seen him since my first year in Glasgow  and was completely shocked  to see  him  there.”   Rose explained.

“Okay.”   Clara  said.  “ And what's happened since ?”

“We've  met for coffee a few times .”   Rose said.

“And?”  Clara pushed.

“And nothing.  That's it.”   Rose said defensively

“ But you still fancy him?”  Clara asked.

“That's the complicated bit. ”  Rose said as she bit her bottom lip and scrunched her nose up.

“Rose…”  Clara warned.  “You're engaged!”

“I know!  And I love Allan very much, but lately he's been so distant that I'm beginning to wonder if he even still wants to get married. ”

“Then you need to talk to him.”   Clara exclaimed, worried that her friend was heading down a dangerous path.

“I know.”

“Have you told this friend about Allan?”

“Yes.  And I would never cheat on him, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I wasn’t thinking that.  I just don’t want you to make a mistake.”

“I don’t want that either.”  Rose replied and then looked down at her coffee. 

"Rose, did you rush into this engagement?”  Clara asked.

“No!”  She answered right away,  looking up,  but then faltered.  “I don’t know.  I’m crazy, right?  How could I throw away what Allan and I have for someone  I haven’t seen in years?” She sighed before she continued.  “ I just keep thinking that maybe  if Allan  and  I  could get things back to the way they were in Glasgow, then the  confusion  would go away.”

Clara wasn’t sure what else to tell her .   She had her own issues to deal with right now and didn’t exactly feel like she should be giving such moral advice to someone else.

“I don’t know what to tell you Rose.”  Clara said.  “Sounds like maybe you need to  get to the bottom of  his distant  behaviour .”

“Yeah, I know.  I guess I’m just afraid of hearing the truth.”

The two girls chatted some more until Clara noticed the time.  If she were going to talk to the Doctor, it had better be now as there was only a couple of hours left.  They said their goodbyes and Clara once again found herself outside his office door, except this time it was actually open.

“Hi.”  She said as she knocked on his door frame to get his attention.

“Hey.”  He said as he looked up.

Clara stepped inside and closed the door behind her.  The Doctor got up from his desk and moved to sit on the  small  couch  in the corner  and Clara sat next to him,  being  sure to leave some distance between them.

“So,” she said, “how do we start this?”

“Let me start by saying I’m sorry.  It was wrong that I left the way I did and it was wrong that I fought with you about it.”  The Doctor said remorsefully. “ We crossed a line that we shouldn't have that night, and it scared me. ”   He said.

“ I can understand that, but  I guess I just thought that when you agreed to come  home with me  that you had  decided  this could happen.   At least that's what I  had  hoped. ”  She replied  sounding hurt.

“I'm sorry that I gave you that hope.  In that moment, I didn't want the night to end.  I just wanted to be with you and didn’t care about the consequences.  I should have thought what it would mean to you and I didn't.”  He sighed and looked at her, reaching his hand out to cup her face.  “I'm just so drawn to you.  It's like  there’s  a magnet pulling me into you and I don't know how to stop it.”

“You don't have to.”  She replied softly as she placed  her hand on his, holding it in place.

He continued to gaze into her eyes  and Clara felt like he was trying to communicate with her soul.  To tell it what he couldn't tell her.

“I have to, Clara.  There's so much I could lose.”

“And losing me is okay?”  She questioned.

He pulled away and got up off the couch, walking over to a window and s tared  outside before he finally answered.

“No.”  He said quietly.

Clara could see the torment he was going through and  hated that she was the reason he was going through  it .  

“Maybe I should go. ”  She said as she stood up.

“No.”  He said as he turned around and walked towards her.   “ Please don't .”

“I'm causing you nothing  but  pain.”  She couldn’t hide the worry in her voice.  “I can see that .   Take me out of the equation and your life can go back to the way it was.”

“I don't want you out of my life.”  He said desperately.

“Then what do we do? ”

“I don't know.”  His frustration clear.

Clara knew what she wanted and for her she didn't see the harm and in fact it was the only solution she saw.

“ W hy can't we just hide this  until it's okay?”  She asked .

He sighed, but didn't answer  her right away.    Instead he  took her hand in his .

“I  wish it were that simple.”   He finally replied.

“But it could be.  No one would need to know and we could wait and go public after I  graduate.”  She pled, and almost hated the way she sounded so desperate, but she was.

“ If we got caught ,  I  w ould lose my job,  and  not just my job, Clara, but my career.   I've worked hard to get where I am and I ca n't risk throwing  it  all away. ”  

“Then we wait.   Nobody could  say anything if we were to get together after .  It's only seven months .”  She wasn't going to walk away from this so easily.   She was falling for this man and she was willing to fight for him.

“I can't ask you to wait.  You're a brilliant,  young,  beautiful woman who deserves so much.  And you have so many places you want to travel to when you're done school.”

“I ’ve seen most of the world already.”   She countered.  “What I haven't experienced is what I'm feeling for you.”

“Oh Clara.”   Sadness clouded his features and, she couldn't help but think that maybe there was more to this.

“I know I'm not alone in this feeling.”  She whispered, taking a step closer to him.

“Clara.”  He warned, but didn't move away from her  as she kept inching closer.

“Please, John.”  She  used his name, knowing what it would do to him.

His eyes couldn't hide the desire she knew was there, always simmering at the surface.  He closed the distance between them  by  wrapping his arms around her tiny waist  and crashing  his lips  into hers .


	13. Chapter 13

Clara knew this shouldn't be happening, but she couldn't stop it.  She craved him, yearned for him, and now as his lips were moving over hers in a hungry passion .   He pulled her closer to him as their tongues began their familiar duel, swirling, tasting, and teasing.  She wanted more, needed to feel more, so she moved her hands around to the lapels of his blazer and began to push it off his shoulders.  She managed to get it half way off his arms when he tore his lips away from her.

“We can't do this.”   He said as he took a step back, shrugging his blazer back on.

“I’m not wrong, am I?  I am not the only one feeling this way.”  She was starting to feel like he was playing a cruel game,  pulling her in and then pushing her away .

He stared at her, the torment and sadness written all over his face.  She could tell that he wanted to say something, but nothing was coming out.

“I just can’t, Clara.”

“Fine.”  She said, frustrated  and walked towards the door.  “But  you’re  right ,  I'm not going to wait and by  the  time you figure out what you  want, I might be gone.”

She walked out  and didn't stop .  She was a  mess of emotions and wasn't sure what to feel first, anger, frustration, sadness, the list went on and on.   She had never been so confused about anything in her life.  Even when she decided to drop out  of school  and travel, she didn't feel this perplexed.   She finally stopped walking when she realized that she was in front of her flat.  Autopilot must have taken over,  as she hadn't even realized she was walking that way.  She stepped inside her  place, threw her bag on a chair, then walked into the kitchen to pour a glass of wine.   She  walked back out to the living room and turned on the  telly ,  needing  a distraction from the mess  that  her life was right now. 

\---------

Clara had decided to go back to concentrating on her studies and  found herself sitting in a café near campus, working on a paper.   She picked up her cup and noticed it was empty.  She was just about to get up to get another when one  was  placed on the table  in front of  her.

“This seat taken?”  JD asked.

Clara stared at him for a second.  “No, go ahead.”

“Thanks.”  He said as he sat.  “I thought you looked like you could use another.”   He motioned to the coffee in front of Clara.

“Thanks.”  She replied.

“I also thought you might like to talk to someone who knows what's going on.”

Clara wasn't sure what he knew .  He obviously knew she had slept with the Doctor before, but did he know about the last time.

“And what exactly do you think is going on?”  She asked quietly.

“I know what happened after the concert and I know what happened the other day.”

“I can't believe  he told  you.”   Clara said surprised.

“He didn't have to.  The poor bastard has been a mess since you walked into his life.”

“Well, it hasn’t been a picnic for me either.”  She said.

“Exactly, and as the only one who knows both of you and what has happened, I’m here if you want to talk.”  He offered.

Clara eyed him suspiciously.  Why would he want to help her when he was the Doctor’s friend?  And if she did confide in him, would he go running back and tell him everything she said?

“Look, I’m not going to tell him anything you say, if that’s what you’re worried about.”  He said as if he had read her mind.

“But you’re his friend.  Why would you want to listen to me?”  She asked.

“Because I like you.  And I may know a thing or two about what you’re going through.”

“You slept with a  lecturer?”   She asked quietly.

“Student.”  He answered.

“ So you know what the Doctor’s going through.”

“ Well , somewhat.  The  only person who knows what he's  really  going through is him. ”

“So, enlighten me.  What's he going through?”  Clara asked.

“Hell.”

“Thanks.  I feel so much better.”  Clara said sarcastically.

“Look,” he whispered as he leaned forward, “ he’s  torn .  It's either you, someone he barely knows, or a career he loves and  has  had  for over twenty years.”

“I get that, but I've told him we could wait  until I'm done.  It's only like six months.”

“Except aren't you the girl who didn't want to be here right now  and isn’t planning on staying . ”

Clara looked at him confused.  She had never told him that. “And j ust how much  ha s the Doctor  told you about me?”

“Not a lot.  But I can tell you that he's worried that you see him as just someone to have fun with while you're here and then once you're done school, you're going to take off again.”

The  realization hit her like a slap to the face.  Of course he would think that.  She had made it pretty clear she didn't want to stay after she graduated.  But the truth was that she hadn't even thought about leaving in the past few weeks.  She was so fixated on her feelings for the Doctor and thoughts of a future with him, that she  actually started seeing a life here.

“Now you get it.”  JD said, clearly able to see  the  recognition on  her  face.

“But that's not the case.  Not  anymore .”  Clara said.

“So ,  tell him that .  But I do recommend that you keep things friendly and not do anything else until  you graduate .”

“You think I should back down?”

“I think the two of you are playing with fire.”  He warned.

“What happened to you and the student?”  Clara asked sensing that there was more to his story.

“ We got caught.   Well more like I got caught. ”  He said and Clara could see the sadness in his eyes.  “One of the faculty members found out and reported me , but they never knew who the student was and I never  told the university.  I was told to either leave quietly or risk losing everything.”

“And you  decided  to leave.”  Clara said.

“Aye.”  He nodded.   “And it’s a decision I  have  regretted every day after I left.  A little less these days, but she was special and I fear that I’ll never meet another woman like her.”

Clara was suddenly seeing a softer side to JD and not just the joker he had made himself out to be when they met.  She could tell that he had really cared for this girl and it wasn’t just some fling.

“Look, I know, better than most people ,” JD continued, “ that you can’t control who you fall for, but you can’t keep pushing him to risk losing something that means so much to him.  He has a lot more to lose than you, trust me on that.”

Clara thought about what JD said.  He made a very good point and one the Doctor had been trying to tell her, but she just didn’t want to hear it from him.   However,  he was just as guilty as  she  was.  They had both been flirting with each other and he was the one that kept touching her the last time they talked, cupping her face, holding her hand.  She really needed to separate from him, but it was easier said than done.

“Have you given him the same advice?”  She asked.

JD nodded his head.  “I walked into his office the other night and could tell that something was eating him up.  So, I prodded a bit, because lord knows that man does not share anything, and after a few clever questions, I got him to admit what I had suspected.  I just simply reminded him about what had happened to me in Glasgow and why I came to London.”

“I don’t want what happened to you to happen to him.”  Clara sighed.  “But I just find it so hard to stay away from him.”

“One of you needs to be the stronger person, Clara.  And right now, I think that person has to be you.”  He stood up and grabbed his coffee.  “Just some food for thought.”

He left, leaving Clara with her thoughts.  He was right.  She needed to be the stronger person and as hard as it was going to be, she had no choice.  She didn’t want to be the reason he lost his career, risking any chance of her having a future with him.  She had been asking him to wait and that’s exactly what she had to do.  Once she finished school, she would be free and open to pursue him and maybe once the fear of losing everything he had worked for was gone, he would let it happen.  She looked down at her computer and the essay she had been working on.  Stick with the original plan, class and study, and despite having said that before, she felt like this time she really meant it.  She had to.


	14. Chapter 14

The middle of November was a busy time at school, so it made it easier for Clara to focus on her work and not the Doctor.  She had stayed true to her word and maintained a distance between them, but unlike before when she had been angry with him, she was still friendly in class, engaging in discussions, asking and answering questions , and keeping the relationship strictly student  / teacher.   She had even created a study group with Jack, Bill and some other classmates, which was helping to take her mind of things.  They were currently studying in the library, discussing their final papers when a debate erupted about her topic.

“I don’t know  Clara ;  I think you need to ask the Doctor.”  Jack suggested.

“I was hoping I wouldn’t have to.”  She said as she sighed.

“Well we can’t seem to agree on the point your thesis is built on.”  One of her other classmates said.

She was afraid they were right.  She had done well to not spend any time alone with him and now it looked like she was going to have to.  She looked at her watch and knew that he was in his office right now and if she wanted to get this sorted out, she should talk to him now instead of wasting more time on an essay that might be wrong.  She gathered her stuff and made her way to his office.

“Come in.”  He said after she knocked on his door.  

“Are you free?”  She asked as she walked in.  He looked up and seemed surprised to see her.

“Uh,  sure .”  He smiled. 

“Great.”  She replied as she took a seat.  “I was wondering if  I  could get you to look at my essay.  There seems to be some confusion in my study group and I want to make sure I’m not completely off.”

He took her  paper  and started reading it, jotting down notes as he went through it. Clara waited patiently for him to finish and once he was done, he moved around his desk and sat next to her to go over his notes.  It was a good job she came and talked to him because she was a little off, not as much as her classmates had thought, but enough that it would have affected her grade.

“Thanks.”  She said as she put the paper in her bag.

“So how have you been?”  He asked.

“Good.  Busy with school.  The  lecturers  here are real  arses  this time of year.”  She smiled at him.

“Yeah, so I've heard.”  He smiled back and stood up to return to his side of the desk.  “You must be getting excited that you're almost half  way  through your year.  Have you figured out where  you're going to go after you graduate?”

She  remembered what JD had told her and  couldn't help but think that he was fishing for an answer.

“Yeah, I think London.”

“Pardon?”  He asked completely confused.

“I'm going to stay here. ”  She said , and gave him a shy  smile.

“Really?”   He replied, and she could tell he was surprised.

“Yeah.  I think it's time that I got on with my life.  One of my best friends is having a baby and another one is getting married.  Seems everyone is starting their futures but me.”

“I wouldn’t judge your success on what others have accomplished.”  He said.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m not.  I’m very happy with the decisions I’ve made because they’ve all lead me to here, but I just think that it’s time I stopped living in the now and thought more about the future .”

He smiled at her and she couldn’t help but return it.  “You definitely sound a lot less confused from when we first met.”

“I feel like I am.”  She replied.  She paused before she spoke again thinking if it were appropriate what she wanted to tell him, but then decided she should.  “Listen, I want to apologize to you.”

“Whatever for?”  He asked.

“The last time we were alone here, I feel like I pushed  you  into that kiss.  You were trying to tell me why we can’t be together and I wasn’t listening to you.  I’m sorry that I put you in that position.”

“You didn’t put me anywhere I didn’t want to be.”  He replied , softly.

“Yeah, but still...”  She started but then broke off.

“I very much meant what I said that night Clara.  I want you in my life, but all I can give you at this point is friendship.”

“Then I’ll take it.”  The two shared a smile for a moment, then Clara decided  s he needed to leave before she did or said something she shouldn’t.  “I should probably get going.  Thanks again for the help.”

She left and for the first time in a while felt like maybe she was finally on the right path.  If they couldn’t be together than maybe, just maybe they could be friends.  She knew that if she was strong and sure to not put herself into tempting situations that it should be okay.  She did, after all, just have a conversation with him and neither of them had any physical contact.  Despite how badly she longed to feel his touch.  Patience was the key, she truly had to believe that.

\-------------

Another couple of weeks had past and it was now the beginning of December.  She had been studying very hard and was very confident that she was going to pass her first term with flying  colours .  She was  in the middle of making putting laundry away  when her mobile rang.

“Hey Rose.”  She said as she answered.

“Hi.”  She replied on the other end.  “How’ve you been?”

“Good.  Busy, but good.  What about you?”

“The same.”  Rose answered.  “But things have finally settled down and I was wondering if you wanted to come for dinner on Saturday night.  I just got off the phone with Amy and she and Rory are going to come.”

“That sounds great.”  She hesitated before she asked her next question.  “And will Allan be there?”

“He will.  I thought maybe it was time you guys  meet  him.”

“So, everything is good with you guys?”

“It’s okay.  He’s been in a better mood lately, which has been a pleasant change.”  Rose added.

“I'm happy to hear that.   I can't wait to finally meet him.”

The girls chatted a bit more then Clara had a class she needed to get to , along with more studying.   She was  pleased  that it seemed that Rose was finally getting adjusted to life back in London and for the first time,  in a very long time, Clara felt happy.

\----------

Friday night, the day before Rose's dinner, Clara had planned to go  and  listen to a guest lecturer  at the university  with Jack, but he backed out last minute, so she found herself now sitting in the small auditorium alone.   She was looking around at the people, just to see if she saw anyone she recognized from classes,  when  the door opened and in walked the Doctor.  She couldn't help the small flip that her stomach did, the kind when you see someone you fancy when you weren't expecting to.  Of course she still fancied him.   How could she not , but she couldn't focus on that because they had been doing really well at maintaining their friendship.   He spotted her towards the back and started walking her way.

“Hey!”  He smiled , as he took a seat next to her

“Hi.”  She returned.

“You here alone?”  He asked.

“Yeah,  Jack  backed out  on me , but I really wanted to hear what Professor Dunning has to say .”

“I think you'll really like her.”  He answered.   “She  makes some points that might be very helpful for  your  essay.”

“That’s what I thought. ”  She was just about to ask him how he'd been since they hadn't talked much outside of class, but  Professor Dunning began speaking.

An hour later and Clara was feeling even better about her paper.  The Doctor had been right, she really enjoyed listening to Dunning's thoughts and  was interested in learning more.

“I take from the smile on your face that you really enjoyed that.”  The Doctor said.

“I did.   I almost want to head home now and work on my paper .”  She glanced at her watch.  “But I should grab a bite to eat and then see if I can  get  Dunning's book from the library. ”

“I have  it  back at my office if you want to borrow it .”  He offered.  “Save you a trip to the library.”

“That would be great.”  She answered.

“We could, uh, also grab a bite, if you want.  There’s a small Thai place between this building and my office, and we could discuss the lecture, hash out some more ideas for your essay.”  He was hesitant in asking her and Clara wasn’t sure if this was a good idea, but she really would appreciate the help.

“ Uhm , yeah, okay.”  They could do this.   They could have a meal together and keep it friendly.  She just needed to keep reminding herself of that.

They spent about an hour and a half eating and chatting.  It was killing Clara to not flirt with him especially when it would have been so easy to just reach across and hold his hand that was resting on the table.  They were having a very good conversation about the lecture and her paper, then the topic changed to politics, which could have  been  dangerous territory, but it turned out the two of them shared the same opinions.  She couldn’t help but feel a small amount of hope that once she graduated, they could have the relationship she longed for.

They finished their dinner and made their way to his office, again talking the whole way over.  When he opened the door, the only light that was on was coming from a small lamp on his desk and the moonlight that was streaming through a window.  It was almost romantic, but she quickly pushed that thought out of her mind.  He went to flip the light switch on, but the overhead light didn’t come on.

“Hmm, must be burnt out he said.”  He left the door open to allow a little more light in and walked over to his bookshelf.

Clara stepped over to the window, curious as to what view he had of the campus.  It wasn’t much, but it did look pretty the way the lights sparkled at night in the city.  She turned around and saw that the Doctor was still scanning his shelf for the book.

“Ah!”  He exclaimed.  “Found it.”

He turned to face her, book in hand and just stared at her.  She thought maybe there was something wrong because he wasn’t moving or saying anything.

“God, you’re  stunning .”  He finally said, shocking Clara.

“Doctor.”  Clara said with a warning tone.  They had been doing so well and she had to be strong.

“I’m sorry.”  He sighed and then took a step towards her.  “It’s just the way the moonlight is hitting your hair, you look  so  beautiful .”

“We can’t do this, remember.”  She warned him again, but was fighting an internal battle with the desire that was percolating inside her.

“I know.”  He sighed heavily, almost as if he were in pain.  He took another step closer and licked his lips.  She couldn’t help but feel like she was prey  and he  was about to devour  her .  

“You need to stop.”  She warned him again.

“I don’t want to.”  He said  as  he almost reached her.

“What are you saying?”  She asked.  She needed to be sure what his intentions were if she were going to let the flood gates open.

“I can’t fight this anymore, Clara.  I don’t want to fight it.  I have never felt so attracted to a woman the way I am to you .”   He placed a hand on her cheek as he finally was close enough to now touch her. 

“So, you want this to happen?”  She asked again, needing to be really sure that it wasn’t going to end the way it did before.

“More than I have wanted anything.  Be damn the consequences.”  He whispered, his lips just inches from hers now.

“Then what are you waiting for?”  She repeated the words she had said to him the last time they were in this position and that was it, all the strength she was using to stop this from happening was gone.  

His lips crashed into hers , as the book he was holding fell to the floor.  Her  knees weakened at finally feeling him so close again , passion taking  hold of them both  as  there was a gentle urgency to their kiss.  Suddenly, the Doctor pulled away and Clara was worried that he had changed his mind again, but he walked over to his door, shut and locked it. 

“What are you doing?”  Clara asked.

“I don’t want anyone walking in on us.”  He said as he approached her again and started nipping at her neck  once he reached her .

“We can’t do this here.”  She said as she tilted her head to give him better access.

“Sure, we can.  There’s no one around.”  His hands trailed around her waist to squeeze her bottom, pulling her into him.  She could feel just how aroused  he  was and she didn’t want to hold back any longer.  She crushed her lips to his in a searing kiss that both would remember for a long time.  

He moved them back towards the couch as they began shedding clothes as fast as their hands could move.  Once they were both free of all barriers, the Doctor gently laid Clara on the couch and began worshiping her body, not leaving one inch untouched by his hands or lips.  It wasn’t long before his mouth was back on hers and she could feel his hardness pressed against her entrance.  She moved her hips to allow him better access and then moaned at finally feeling him inside her.  They began a slow rhythm, moving in harmony together, until Clara needed more.  She wrapped her ankles around him to push him deeper and he took the hint to begin thrusting faster and harder.  It wasn’t long before both of them were falling over the edge together.

They laid there for a moment before the Doctor rolled to his side and enveloped Clara in his arms.  They were both silent and Clara was worried what might be going through his mind.  He was running his hands along her side and placing light kisses on her shoulder , which  was nice, but she knew they couldn’t stay like this forever in his office.   She also knew that they needed to talk about what just happened, but she didn't want to ruin the moment  if something was said that shouldn't have been.

“We should likely go.”  She said quietly.

“Yeah.”  He said with a hint of sadness.  “Can I walk you home?”

“That would be nice.”  

They dressed in silence  and Clara wondered what was going on in that big beautiful brain of his.   Did he mean what he had said?  Would they actually have a secret relationship?  There was so much that she wanted to know, but wasn't ready to hear the truth.

They left his office and  started in the direction of Clara's flat.  Once they were off campus, she was  surprised  when she felt his hand slip into hers and they walked the rest of the way  with their fingers entwined.   The gesture filled her with hope and for the first time in a long time she was willing  to  let this hope flourish.

\----------

Clara slowly opened her eyes, blinking as the sun light  hit  her face.   She couldn’t stop the smile that emerged when she started thinking about the previous night  then  rolled over  to stare  at the man sleeping next to her.

After the Doctor had walked her home, she invited him in, not wanting the night to end.   This time ,  unlike the last,  he agreed without hesitation.   Once he was in, one thing  led  to another and they ended up in her bed.

“Will you stop staring at me.” The Doctor gruffly said, startling Clara because he still looked like he was sleeping.

“How can you tell I'm looking at you? ”  She said .

“I can feel your eyes on me.”  He answered as he finally opened his and smiled at her.  “Good morning.”

“Morning.”  She said, returning his smile.  

He leaned forward and gave her a soft kiss.  Clara felt like she was in heaven and thought she could easily get used to waking up every morning to this.  The Doctor pulled back and brushed a strand of Clara’s hair off her face.

“I suppose we should talk.”  He said.

“Yes, I suppose so.”  Clara agreed.  “I just want to know what all of this means.”

“It means that I’m tired of trying to fight my feelings for you.”

“So, we’re going to hide this, until the time is right?”  She asked, still a little fearful as to what the answer was going to be.

“Yes.”

Clara’s heart swelled and she knew right here in this moment that she had fallen in love with this man.  Of course, she wasn’t about to tell him that, but she knew when the time was right, she would shout it from the roof tops.  She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him, and he eagerly returned her passion until they were once again making love.

\----------

Clara met Amy and Rory later that day to head over to Rose’s for their dinner.  Clara had stayed true to her word and had never told Amy about the issues Rose was having.  She was already very skeptical of her relationship that she didn’t need to add fuel to it.  She met them at the tube station and rode the train with them to Rose’s  neighbourhood .  She lived far from them, which would explain why they didn’t see her that often.

“You have been awfully  chipper  today.”  Amy said as they came out of the tube station.

“I have good reason to be.”  Clara said.

“And that reason would be what?”  Amy asked.

“The Doctor.”  Clara said.

“Oh no, what happened?  Did you sleep with him again?”

“I did, but this  time it  was different.  He’s agreed, no more games.”  Clara replied.

“What does that mean?”  Rory asked.

“That we’re going to hide it until the time is right to go public.”

“Do you think that’s a good idea?”  Amy asked.

“It’s better than the two of us being tormented at not being together.”

They finally approached Rose’s door and Amy knocked on it.  “We are not done with this conversation.”  She said to Clara.

The door opened and they were all greeted by Rose .   “Come in, come in!”  She said excitedly.

The trio entered and looked around the little home.  It was nicely decorated with little touches of Rose’s style.  She showed them around the main floor and ended the tour by taking them into the kitchen.

“And this is Allan.”  She said as  they  walked in, causing him to turn around from the stove to greet the small group.

Terror overcame  Clara  as she  froze  at  the  sight  of the man, she had just  made love  to  that  morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger. I'll update soon, I promise.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Thank you so much for all the comments and feedback on the last chapter. Sorry to leave you hanging, but let's find out what the hell is going on....

Numbness infused Clara's body as her heart wrenched at the sight of the Doctor standing in front of her.  He locked eyes with her and did his best to not let on he knew her, but she could see the terror that was just behind the surface.  Rose stepped over to him and wrapped an arm around his waist and Clara suddenly felt as if she were going to be sick.  So many thoughts and emotions were running through her and she couldn't do anything, but try and put on her best face for her friend.

“Allan, this is Amy, Rory, and Clara.”  Rose said sounding so cheerful and excited to finally be introducing her friends to her future husband.

“It's nice to meet all of you.”  He said with no hint of emotion.  

“Clara, are you okay?”  Rose asked.  She assumed her face must be giving off a look of shock, although she couldn't be entirely sure.  

“Ah, yeah, sorry.”  She said, trying to snap out of it.  “I just wasn't expecting this to be Allan.”

Amy glanced at her, and Clara knew it was likely because her comment sounded rather rude, but she wasn't really in control of anything at the moment.

“Sorry, I guess I should have told you about the age difference.”  Rose said.

“That's okay.”  Amy said clearly trying to intercept Clara’s response.  “It's very good, to finally meet you.”

She extended her hand to the Doctor or Allan or whoever the hell he was, Clara just didn't know what the hell was going on any more.  He shook hands with Amy and as he went to shake Rory's, Clara prepared herself for the fakeness that was about to happen.  He extended his hand to her and Clara took it, but couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye.

“Why don't you all have a seat in the living room, while I pour some wine.”  The Doctor said.

“Great idea.”  Rose said, “I'll give Allan a hand, if you guys want to go back down the hall.”

The trio went to the living room and sat down, Amy and Rory on a love seat and Clara in a chair next to them.

“What's wrong with you?”  Amy whispered to her friend.  “You look as if you've seen a ghost.”

Clara knew she couldn't tell Amy the truth, not right now anyway.  She would have to do her best to pretend as if her heart wasn't shattering into a million pieces as the realization hit her that she had slept with her friend's fiancé.

“I'm fine.  I was just shocked to see how old he is.”  

“You of all people shouldn't care about that.  I mean isn't the Doctor around the same age?” Amy asked.

“Oh, I'd say they're pretty close.” Clara responded with a sarcastic tone.

Rose and the Doctor walked in and passed around the glasses of wine and a glass of sparkling water for Amy.

“Well Allan, Rose has been very secretive about you, so I'm afraid we don't know anything about you.”  

“Well what would you like to know?”  

“Let's start with what's your job?”  Amy asked.

“I'm a professor.”  He answered, not elaborating.

“Oh, did you get a job at the same  uni as Rose?”

Clara just stared into her wine, hoping that Amy would stop with the fifth degree.  She was in pure hell right now.  All she wanted to do was get the Doctor alone to find out what the fuck was going on, but there was no chance of that whatsoever.  She couldn't leave because how would she explain a sudden departure to everyone.  The only option she had was to sit here and pretend to get to know Rose's fiancé who was also the same man that woke up in her bed this morning.

“Can you believe that Clara?”  Amy said to her, bringing her out of her thoughts.

“I'm sorry, what was that?”  Clara asked.  Amy gave her a look that told her she needed to snap out of it.

“Allan said he works at U of L.”

“Oh.”  Clara replied trying her best to sound surprised.  “That's nice.”

Amy gave Clara another look and she could tell that she was picking up on her strange  behaviour .

“So Rose, was Allan your prof?”  Clara asked, her question probably sounding a lot more accusatory than it should have been.

“No.  He was at my  uni , but not in my department.”  Rose answered.

“So how did you meet then?”  Clara asked.

“In a pub actually.”  Rose said and smiled at the Doctor obviously remembering that moment, but he was staring into his wine glass as well.  Clearly, he was feeling just as uncomfortable as Clara.

“And who started chatting who up?”  Clara asked wanting to know if this was the Doctor's MO, meet pretty young girls in pubs and then shag them. 

“Ah, I actually started talking to him.”  Rose answered.  “It actually took running into  him  a few times for something to finally happen.  Anyway, enough about us, how much longer before the baby arrives?”

The subject was changed to discussing Amy’s pregnancy and what plans the couple had for after the baby was born.  Both Clara and the Doctor were silent throughout the conversation, fixated on staring into their wine glasses.  Occasionally, Clara would look up and try to pretend she was interested in what was happening.  Eventually, the Doctor excused himself to check on dinner.

“Is he okay?”  Amy asked Rose.  “He seems really quiet.”

“Oh, he’s fine.  I think he didn’t sleep well last night because he didn’t get home until late this morning.”  Rose answered and Clara choked on the sip of wine she had just taken.  She knew exactly how he slept last night and she knew it wasn’t much.

“Are you okay?”  Rory asked her.

“Yeah, sorry, it just went down the wrong way.”  But Rory still eyed her suspiciously.  “Rose where’s your loo?”

“Just down the hall, first door on the right before the kitchen.”  She answered.

“Thanks.”  Clara said as she got up.

She made her way down the hall, but instead of going to the washroom, she stepped into the kitchen where she saw the Doctor leaning against the counter, slumped forward.

“Care to tell me what the hell is going on!?”  She whispered yelled at him as she walked in.  

“Clara!”  He looked up, clearly surprised to see her.

“Don’t Clara me!  What the fuck is going on!?”  She continued yelling quietly at him as she approached him.

“I can explain.”  He said quietly, glancing at the door.  “Just not now.”

“Clearly, not now!  You’re engaged!  And  to my best friend!”  She was becoming more enraged the longer she stood there.  The Doctor reached out to put his hands on her arms and she moved away.

“Don’t you dare touch me!”  She started pacing back and forth, while the Doctor continued to glance at the door.  “I don’t even know where to start with the amount of questions I have going on in my head right now!  Like why the hell does she call you Allan?!”

“Clara, please, I can explain it all, but we need to get through this dinner first.”  He quietly pled to her.

Clara knew she needed to calm down, but she just couldn’t get her feelings under control.  How could she? One moment she thought she was on the right path to finally having a relationship with this man and the next she’s discovering that everything ha d been a lie.  She turned and walked out of the kitchen and straight into the washroom.  She braced her hands on either side of the sink, gripping so tightly that her knuckles were turning white.  She had never been so angry in all her life.  How could she have been so stupid?  Of course, this was why he was struggling with being with her.  How could she face Rose, knowing that the reason her fiancé had been so distant was because of her?  As more and more thoughts were running through her head, her breathing began to quicken.  She couldn’t stay here, but she had to.  She couldn’t let Rose find out this way.  She turned the tap on and splashed some water on her face and took a few deep breaths to help get herself together.  Once she felt more composed, she looked in the mirror and felt confident that she could keep it under control for a few more hours.  She walked out and joined everyone in the living room, where the Doctor had since returned as well.  The small talk continued with mostly Amy doing all the talking.  Clara thought it was best to say very little for fear of the tone that would come out of her mouth.  After about another thirty minutes of sheer hell, the Doctor went once again to check on dinner, but this time Rose went with him.

“Clara are you okay?”  Rory asked quietly, as soon as they were gone.  “You seem a little on edge.”

“I’m fine.”  She replied.  “Just suddenly not feeling very well.”

“You sure?  Because you were fine and then your mood changed the moment we walked into the kitchen.”  Amy added.

“Yeah, I don’t know something must have just hit me.”  She said quietly.

Rose came back in and told them dinner was ready and to follow her to the dining room.  Once everyone was seated the small talk began once more and it was clear to Clara that Amy was doing her best to try and find the most out, she could about “Allan”.

“I couldn’t help but notice there was a guitar in one of the rooms when Rose was giving us a tour.  Do you play?  Because I’m pretty sure it’s not Rose ’s .”  Amy asked.

“Hey!”  Rose said taking offence.  “I could probably play if I wanted to, but I’m just not that into music.”

“Yes, I play.”  The Doctor said quietly briefly glancing at Amy.  

“Allan loves music.  He’s even figured out a way to incorporate it into his media studies course at U of L.”

“That sounds really interesting.”  Rory said.  “I would have liked to have taken a course like that in uni.  I bet your students must  really love it .”  

Clara stared down at her food, trying to think of  a  way to change the subject.  Amy had helped her choose her courses and if they started talking to much about  his class, she knew she would pick up on it.

“Wait, Clara, aren’t you taking media studies?”  Amy asked.  Curse her and her cleverness.

“I am.”  She answered quietly.

“Really?”  Rose asked.  “I just assumed you were continuing with your English degree.”

“I was going to, but media looked more appealing.”

“Yeah, except that media law course you almost took.”  Amy added.  “I bet you’re really glad you took the mu...”

And that was the moment that Amy finally put two and two together, as Clara watched her face change from smiling, to shock.

“You okay?”  Rory asked, concerned that she didn’t finish her sentence.

“Yeah, sorry, the baby just kicked and it startled me.”  She said to Rory.

“Must be so weird, having a little human growing inside you.”  Clara said, trying to take the conversation off of her studies.

“It is.”  Amy said, looking at Clara.  “Some days I think a tiny foot is going to push right through my stomach.”

Clara wasn’t sure what Amy was going to do with her knew found realization and only hoped that she would hide what she knew, for Rose’s sake.

“So, have you two set a date yet?”  Amy asked.  Clearly, she was going to go the route of questioning their relationship and would undoubtedly start questioning the Doctor.

“Not yet.”  Rose said.  “But we’re not really in a rush, so there’s plenty of time for that.”

“And how exactly did you propose, Allan?”  Amy asked, her tone sounding a little fake and insincere.

The Doctor looked up and glanced at Clara before looking at Rose.

“It wasn’t really planned, just kind of happened.  I didn’t even have ring.”  He said.

“I said I didn’t need one, and I still mean that.”  Rose added smiling at him.  “So, Clara, you haven’t said much about your dating life lately.  Any blokes at  uni catch your eye?”

“Well there was this one guy,” she started to answer Rose’s question and then turned to look at the Doctor, “but that’s not going to work out.”

“Oh, what happened?”  Rose asked. 

“Turned out he was a liar and a cheat.”  She said pointedly.

“I’m really sorry, Clara.”  Rose said, sounding sad.

“Yeah, me too.  I really liked him.”  Clara was now trying to fight back tears.  “Excuse me.”

She got up from the table and went to the loo.  She had been so angry earlier that she hadn’t let the sadness in, but she couldn’t stop the tears from coming now.  There was a soft knock at the door followed by the sound of Amy’s voice.

“Clara, can I come in?”  She asked quietly.

She opened the door and let her best friend in.  No words were said.  Amy just wrapped her arms around her and let her cry.

“I’m so sorry, Clara.”  Amy whispered.

Clara didn’t say anything, but just continued to weep on Amy’s shoulder.  Eventually she stopped and she splashed some water on her face, but it was still obvious she had been crying.

“Do you want to go?”  Amy asked her.

She nodded her head.  “I can’t do this anymore.  Pretending is killing me and my heart feels like it’s being cut into  a tiny  million pieces.”

“Okay, Rory and I will stay, but you need to go.”

The two girls came out of the bathroom and walked back into the dining room, Amy taking a seat at the table again.

“I’m so sorry Rose, but I really need to go.  Dinner was lovely, thank you.”  She turned and looked at the Doctor, trying to put on her best face. “It was nice to meet you.”

“I’ll walk you out.”  Rose said as she got up and walked Clara to the door.

“I’m really sorry I brought up your relationship Clara.  I had no idea and Amy said that you just found out about it.  I didn’t mean to dredge up those feelings.”

“It’s not your fault.  I’m sorry if I ruined your nice dinner.”

“Nonsense.  What’s more important is that you go home, have a good cry, and tomorrow forget about the  arsehole .  He’s not worth your affection if that’s who he is.”

Clara nodded, “I guess that’s the problem.  I never really knew who he was.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the wonderful feedback. I was truly worried that people would hate me by now :) Now on with the story...

Clara walked into her flat and dropped her keys on the table, completely on autopilot.  All she wanted to do was change into her comfy clothes, crawl into bed and forget this day ever happened.  But the moment she stepped foot into her room, she saw the rumpled sheets and got flashes to her morning spent tangled in them with the Doctor.  She walked over to the bed and picked up the pillow he had slept on, still able to smell his cologne.  She couldn’t stop the tears from filling her eyes, spilling over like a waterfall.  How could she have been so daft?  Always giving into what she wanted instead of thinking about her actions.  She was the reason, Rose was having problems in her relationship, why Rose was seeking out a past love.  She had pushed her friend into that confusion.  The scent from the pillow wafted towards her senses again and a rush of rage ripped through her.  She tore the case off, tossing the pillow to the floor, as she began to frantically pull the sheets off her bed.  She wanted him gone from her bed, gone from her mind.  Once the sheets were gone and thrown on the floor, she fell onto  the bed  and let the tears flow.  She hadn’t cried this much since the day her mum died.  

She had no idea how long she laid there before she heard a knock at her door.  It took all of her strength to pull herself up, walk over and look out the peep hole.  She unlocked the door and slowly opened it to Amy holding a bottle of wine and a tub of ice cream.

“I bring reinforcements.”  She said as she walked in and went straight to the kitchen.  “For the rest of the night, I am yours.” 

Clara followed her and grabbed a wine glass, while Amy dished out ice cream.  “Thanks.”  She replied.

“No need to thank me.  It’s what best friends are for.”  She handed Clara a bowl full of double chocolate.  “Rose wanted to come, but luckily, Allan or the Doctor.”  She corrected herself.  “What the hell is his proper name?”  Amy said angrily.

“I don’t know.”  Clara said quietly.

“Doesn’t matter, we will refer to him as  Tosser .”  

Clara gave Amy a sad smile, as she continued what she was about to say.

“The  Tosser , suggested that maybe you didn’t want too many people around and convinced her to stay home.”

“Well that’s good at least.”  She said as they walked into the living room and sat on the couch.

“I take it when Rose said he didn’t come home last night that he was with you?”  Amy asked.

All Clara could do was nod.

“What happened?  I mean beside the obvious.”

“I went to a lecture and ran into him.  We  sat  together, talked, went for dinner and then back to his office  so he could  grab a book for me.  Everything was fine.  I was being really good and  kept  my feelings in check because we had agreed to just be friends.  But then suddenly it was like a flip switched, he stopped holding back and we ended up having sex in his office.”

“Clara!”

“What!?  I didn’t know he was engaged!” 

“I know, it’s just, his office?  Could you be any more cliché?”  Amy said.

“Anyway, he walked me home and when I asked him up, he didn’t hesitate.  Not like the last time.”  She took a sip of her wine.  “I get now why he was so tormented, but last night was different.  All the torment was gone.”

“Maybe it just became easier for him to cheat on Rose.”

“I don’t know, Amy.  I just had so much hope after this morning.”  She stared at her bowl of ice cream.  “God I’m so daft!”

“No!  You will not do that Clara Oswald!”  Amy said sternly.  “You are not the  pillock , he is.  I will not let you berate yourself.”

“I should have known, Amy.  I should have known it was more than just his career that was making him  hesitant .”

“You had no way of knowing, so stop it.”

The two girls sat there in silence for a while, eating and Clara drinking her wine.  A knock came to the door and Clara looked at Amy, worried.

“What if it’s Rose?  I can’t face her right now.”  Clara said.

“I’ll go get it.”  Amy said as she pulled herself up off the couch and went and looked  out  the peep hole.

“Oh no!”  She said as she jerked the door open.  “You get out of here!”

“Please, I just need to talk to Clara.”  The Doctor begged.

“Well she doesn’t want to talk to you!”  Amy said angrily.

Clara had gotten up off the couch and made her way to the door.  She locked eyes with the Doctor and her heart  wrenched  in sadness.

“Clara, please.  Just let me explain.”  He said desperately.

“There’s nothing to explain!  You ’ re engaged and you cheated on that woman with me!  That woman who happens to be one of my best friends!”  She yelled  as  Amy  stepped  aside, but not moving too far away.

“It’s more complicated than that.”  He replied.

“There’s nothing complicated about being in love and asking someone to marry them.  Complicated is when you decide to cheat.”

“I don’t love Rose!”  He blurted out.  “I’ve fallen in love with you.”

“Oh no you don’t!  You do not come here and say that!”  She yelled again.  

“You’re right, I’m sorry.”  He replied frantic.  “I shouldn’t have said that.  It’s just that I’m not thinking straight.”

“Clearly for some time.”  Amy added quietly, but loud enough for everyone to hear.

“Look, I know you probably have a thousand questions, and I want to answer those questions.”  He said, ignoring Amy’s comment.

“Oh, you will, but not now.”  Clara replied.  “I am far too angry to talk to you.  You need to go.”  

She walked away from the door and Amy stepped back in front of it again.  “You heard her.  Sod off!”  

Amy slammed the door shut and locked it before walking over to Clara who was standing, staring, at her record collection with tears streaming down her face.  She pulled out the Ash & Ice album the Doctor had bought her, and took it out of its sleeve.  She held it in her hands remembering the night they had with this record as the soundtrack.   S uddenly , she  broke it in half and threw it across the room, never wanting to hear it again.

“I was falling in love with him, Amy.”  She said through sobs.

“Oh Clara.”  Amy said as she pulled her friend into a hug and walked her back to the couch, where she let her curl up next to her and cry until she fell asleep.

\----------

She didn’t go to the Doctor’s lecture on Monday, but instead called Bill telling her she was sick and asked if she could send her the notes, she took that day.  By  the  time Wednesday rolled around she was feeling a bit better, but was still debating about going to her tutorial.  However, she knew this was the last class before the exam and the Doctor had promised to give them an overview of what to study.  When she got to class, she saw that Jack was sitting in their usual spot at the front.  She really didn’t want to sit there, but at the same time didn’t want to answer questions about why she wanted to move on the last day.

“Hey!”  Jack said as he greeted her.  “You feeling better?  Bill said you were sick.”

“Yeah, a bit, thanks.”

The Doctor walked in and promptly started class.  He looked like crap and Clara was happy to know that she wasn’t the only one going through hell right now.  He spent the next  hour  answering questions and giving them a pretty  tho rough outline.  All Clara did was listen and take notes, not once looking at the man she disgusted so much now. 

“Okay, that’s it.  I wish you the best of luck on the exam.”  The Doctor ended his class.   Clara started to pack her stuff up as quickly as possible, but not fast enough.  

“Clara, can I see you for a moment?”  He asked.

She looked at him for the first time and saw so much sadness in his eyes that she almost felt sorry for him, but then quickly remember what he had done.  “Fine.”  She answered.

Jack told her he would catch up with her later and the Doctor waited for the last student to leave before he said anything to her.

“Clara, I really need to talk to you.”  He pled once again.

“And I told you I would talk to you when I’m ready.  And I’m still not ready.”  She said as she grabbed her bag and stood up from her desk.  “I can’t think about you right now because every time I do, I drown in my emotions.”  She moved towards the door and then looked back at him.  “I need to focus on finishing this term, so please, if you ever respected me, you’ll clear off and leave me alone.”

She didn’t even give him a chance to respond before she opened the door and walked out.

\----------

Two weeks had passed and she had managed to finish all her essays and exams without losing focus.  Rose had  rang  her  a  few times and each time Clara avoided her calls.  She just couldn’t face her knowing the truth about her relationship, but at the same time knowing she couldn’t let her friend go through with marrying a man who had cheated on her.  Rose deserved to know the truth, but that needed to come from the Doctor and not her.  

Tonight, she was going to focus on trying to have a good night out with Bill and Heather at an art exhibition at a gallery just off campus.  She had agreed to meet them outside and was currently waiting for them when JD came walking up.

“Well look who it is.”  He said as he approached her.

“What do you want?”  She asked him angrily.

“Hey!”  He said raising his hands to her.  “What did I do to you?”

She looked around before she answered him to make sure no one was around.

“Why didn’t you tell me the Doctor’s engaged?”  She spat at him.

“What?!”  He replied sounding completely shocked.

“Oh, come on.”  Clara said as she rolled her eyes.  “You can’t tell me that you didn’t know.”

“I didn’t.  I swear to you, Clara.  I didn’t.  I wouldn’t have given you the advice I did, if I knew.”  

Clara eyed him suspiciously, but he did look genuinely surprised.  Her look softened.  “You really don’t know that much about him, do you?”

“I’ve never lied to you, I really don’t.  The man is like a vault.”  He replied.  “How did you find out?”

“Long story and one that I don’t feel like talking about.”  Just then Clara’s phone dinged indicating a text message.  She pulled out her phone and looked at it.  “Great.”  She said, annoyed.

“What’s wrong?”  JD asked.  

“Everything.”  She answered, then looked at him.  “But right now, my friends are running really late and aren’t sure if they’re going to make it.”

“Well, looks like you could use a new friend.  Care to join me?”  He offered.

She looked at him and thought for a moment.  He really had grown on her  over  the past few months and it would be nice to have someone to talk to inside.

“Okay.”  She agreed and the two entered the gallery together.

Clara was surprised that she was having a good time and for the first time since her life fell apart, she was laughing.  JD had proved to be a very good distraction for her and she was actually kind of glad that Bill and Heather didn’t show up because the last thing she  needed  was to be a third wheel.  JD had currently gone to get them a glass of wine while she was trying to understand the meaning behind a piece that she was sure a toddler could do just as well, when she heard her name.

“Clara.”  Rose said as she approached her and then hugged her, catching her off guard.  “I have been trying to call you for weeks.”

“I know and I’m really sorry.  I’ve just been so busy with the end of term.”  She answered, noticing that the Doctor was standing behind  her .

“I wanted to see how you were doing after our dinner.”  Rose said, but then something or rather someone caught her eye and she looked over Clara’s shoulder.  She turned to see JD approaching with their wine  and when she  turned back , she  saw that the Doctor was looking at her, his expression filled with confusion as he too had spotted JD.

“John.”  Rose said as he reached the group.

“Hi Rose.”  He said with a sad smile, then he noticed the Doctor behind her and any trace of a smile was gone.

“Wait, you know JD?” The Doctor asked and Rose turned and looked at him.

“Yeah, he was  one of  my  lecturers  during my first year in Glasgow.”  She replied.   “How do you know him?”

“We work together.”  He answered giving JD an angry look.   Rose suddenly looked worried and Clara wondered  why.   “Why did you call him John ?  No one ever calls him that.”

Rose looked at JD and then back at the Doctor,  clearly not sure how to answer the question.   Then it hit Clara like a ton of bricks.   She used the Doctor’s real name when they were intimate  and it only made sense that Rose would do the same.   Rose was the student JD had a relationship with, and JD was the ex, that Rose had told her was making her relationship complicated.  Complicated didn’t describe the situation they were all in right now.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I've decided that I have tortured all of you long enough, so I'm posting a new chapter early and will likely post the remaining two this weekend. Enjoy!

The four stood there in an uncomfortable silence while the Doctor was waiting for Rose to answer his question , but the longer she hesitated, the more time she gave him to piece it together.   Clara could see the recognition on his face the second it happened.

“You were the reason he had to leave Glasgow, weren't you?”   The Doctor asked and all Rose could do was nod.

“Is he the reason you wanted to come to London?”   he asked surprisingly calm.

“No.  I had no idea he was here .  I had no idea that you even knew him.”  She responded.

“Wait, is the Doctor your fiancé?”  JD asked  looking at  Rose.  She gave him a sad look and nodded, but couldn’t bring herself to say the words.

“How did you know that?”  The Doctor asked angrily to JD, but glanced at Clara.  He obviously assumed that she had told him.

“He knows because I told him I was engaged.”  Rose finally spoke again.   “I ran into him a couple of months ago.”

The Doctor just looked at her and Clara couldn’t tell what he was feeling.  His expression was nothing, clearly trying to piece everything together.  There was no way he could be mad at Rose for seeing an ex, when he had done much worse, Clara thought.  The Doctor then looked at JD and Clara.  It wasn’t hard for her to read him now, because the last time she had seen this look was when he was jealous of Jack.

“So, you didn’t learn your lesson  the first time you slept with a student ?”  The Doctor spat at JD and then looked at Clara.

“What?”  JD asked confused, but then followed his eyes.  “You think I ’m on a date  with Clara?”

“Obviously!”  He answered, angrily.  Rose looked at Clara and she couldn’t tell if Rose was scared it might be true or just simply confused about everything that was going on.

“Oh, you couldn’t be more wrong mate.”  JD said calmly.  “I was just being a friend to her, which is something she could use right now.” 

“And what the hell does that mean?”  The Doctor raised his voice.

“You know what it means.”  JD said and then turned to Clara.  “I think that I need to get something stronger to drink.  Would you care to join me?”

“Yes.”  Clara said as she looked at the Doctor and then saw hurt in Rose’s eyes.  She hated that her friend was caught in the middle of all of this, but she took pleasure out of knowing that the Doctor was jealous.  She took JD’s arm and the two walked towards the exit, no doubt leaving behind a very confused couple.

\-----------

“Well this is a right old cock up, isn’t it?”  JD said as he took a sip of his scotch.  “Let me get this straight, you and Rose have been friends since university.”

“Yes.”  Clara answered.

“And you didn’t know she was engaged to the Doctor?”

“No.”

“And you found out when you went to their house for dinner?”  

“Yes.”

“Ouch!”  He winced, clearly knowing how horrible that would have been for her.

“Yeah.  Ouch doesn't even describe it.” She said as she took a sip from her martini.

“What did he have to say?”  JD asked.

“ I don't know because I haven't given him a chance to explain.  I've been so  hurt  and angry.”  

“But you must have a million questions, because Lord knows I do.”  He replied.

“I do, which I hope to get once I can be in a room with him and not want to  kick  him in the  bollocks .”

“That’s fair.”

The two sat in silence for a bit, until Clara decided she wanted to know more about JD and Rose.

“What about you?”  She asked him.

“What about me?”

“Rose told me she had ran into an ex at our friend’s art opening a couple of months ago and that she had had coffee with him a few times.  I assume that was you.”

JD nodded his head.  “It was.”

“She also told me that she told you she was engaged, yet you still continued to meet  with  her.”  JD nodded again.  “Why did you do that if you knew she wasn’t available?”

“I kept telling myself that it was just to get to know her again, as friends.  But  the truth is  that  I thought I had lost her forever when I moved here and when I saw her, I knew I couldn’t lose her again.”

“So,  you  still fancy her?”

“I have tried since the moment I moved here to get over her, but it didn’t matter how many dates I went on, no one ever compared to her.”  He sighed.  “When I saw her at  that  art show, it felt like my heart  had found a missing piece and  s uddenly  it was  whole again.  We met up a couple of days later and that’s when she told me she was engaged.  Wouldn’t that be my dumb luck.  But I thought maybe we could be friends because I just couldn’t let her go again.  And now I find out that The Doctor had her all this time, but she  wasn’t  good enough for him and instead of ending it, he cheated on her.”   He downed the rest of his drink  and then slammed it on the table.  “God he is such a wanker!”

“Amy and I refer to him as the  Tosser .”

“That too.”  JD said.  “Another round?”

Clara nodded and  he  left to go to the bar.  She really felt for him because she could tell that he really loved Rose and in fact their situation didn’t sound  to  different than her and the Doctor.  The only difference was that they didn’t act on their feelings, like she and he did.  Things just couldn’t be any more messed up than they were right now.

\-----------

The next day, Clara was just about to leave her flat to do some grocery shopping when there was a knock at the door.  She wasn’t surprised to see Rose through the peep hole and briefly wondered if the Doctor had told her the truth.  She was afraid to open the door, but knew that she needed to face the music if he had.

“Hi.”  Clara said as she finally let her in.

“Hey, I was hoping we could talk.”  Rose said.

“You bet.  You want a  cuppa ?”  Clara offered.

“No thanks.”  She said as she sat down on the couch.  Clara sat down as well and for what felt like an eternity, no one said anything.

“What is it that you wanted to talk about?”  Clara finally asked.

“What happened last night?”   Rose asked.

Clara wasn’t entirely sure how to answer that question because she just didn’t know what Rose knew.  “What do you mean?”

“Were you on a date with John?”  She asked with a hint of anger.

For a moment Clara thought she meant the Doctor, but then remembered that she meant JD.  “Why would it matter if I was?”  She asked back, not entirely sure why she was feeling defensive.

“Clara, he’s my ex!  You can’t date my ex!”  Rose said getting upset.

All Clara could think was if she was this angry about her dating an ex, she would be livid if she found out she had shagged her fiancé.  

“First, I didn’t know that.”  Clara replied calmly.  “Second, you’re engaged, so why would it matter if I did?  And last, I’m not.  He’s just a friend.”

“ Allan  really seems to think otherwise. ”

“Well,  _ Allan _ , couldn't be more wrong.”  Clara replied,  with a hint of disdain when she said his name.   “What business of his is it any way?”

“That’s what I asked him last night after you and JD left because he seemed quite angry, for a man that barely knows you, to see the two of you together.”

Clara suddenly felt sick to her stomach.  Did the Doctor tell her the truth?

“And what was his answer?”  

“He said that you were my friend and he didn’t want to see JD hurt you, knowing what happened in his past.”

What a coward, Clara thought to herself.  He wasn’t going to tell her the truth, which meant Clara was going to have to, but there was no way she could do that now.

“Well again, it’s really none of his business.”

“Look Clara, I get it, he's handsome and really charming, but he's a  teacher.   Trust me, you shouldn't get mixed up  in that situation.”

This had to be a cruel joke, right?  Was  Rose really trying to give her advice on not dating a  lecturer .

“That's kind of hypocritical of you, isn’t it?  Considering you’ve dated two.”   Clara said now getting annoyed.

“That's my point.  It almost ruined John and I don't want to see that happen to him again. ”

“I'm not dating him!”  Clara yelled , then took a calming breath.   “But I think you want to.”

“I'm with Allan.”  She said  a  matter of  fact .

“Are you?”  Clara questioned and the second she said it she knew they were going down a dangerous path.

“What the hell does that mean?”   Rose said, raising her voice.

“It means that you're awfully focused on JD and who he's dating that you don't even care  when  your  fiancé doesn't come home at night.”

“And what exactly are you insinuating?”

“I don't think I need to spell it out for you.”  Clara said.   What was wrong with her.  She  shouldn't  be trying to make Rose think that the Doctor was having an affair when she knew for a fact he was, with her.

“How dare you?”  Rose said.  “You don't know the first thing about my relationship.”

“You're right I don't .  How could  I  when you’ve been so damn secretive about it.”  Clara argued back.

“I was secretive because I started to doubt it, okay! ”  Rose blurted out.  “ I told you about how things had changed.  How he had become distant, closed off and I started to feel  that  he thought he  had  made a mistake.  I was beginning to think I was a fool for thinking this was what he really wanted.  Then JD came back into the picture and it just turned my world upside down.”

“I told you, you needed to talk to Allan!”  Clara said, upset.

“And I couldn’t, okay.  I was a huge coward.  But shortly after I talked to you, things got slightly better with him and I decided to stop seeing JD in order to give my relationship a fair chance.  That’s when I invited you guys for dinner, but now I’m back to doubting the whole thing!  Allan’s become distant again and it bothered me when I saw you with JD.”

“Rose, you need to talk to Allan and get to the bottom of everything.  There’s clearly a reason why he’s distant because  if  he was  happy ,  he would  be coming home to  you and not staying out all night.”   Clara said trying to push Rose to the conversation she needed to have with the Doctor.

“You think he's cheating on me, don't you?”

“I don’t know, Rose.  But the only way you’ll know for sure is to talk to him.”  Clara answered knowing that Rose needed to hear the truth even if it meant destroying their friendship.  “But I will tell you that you need to figure out what it is you want because if you were as in love with Allan as you say you are, you wouldn’t have been coming here acting jealous.”

Rose gave a heavy sigh and Clara  couldn’t help but  sympathize with the mess that both their love lives were  in.   The time had come, she needed to get to the bottom of everything and there was only one man who had the answers.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally time for the Doctor's explanation...

The next day, Clara found herself standing in front of the Doctor's office door.   She thought about the first time she found herself here  and all the stuff that had happened since, including what had happened in there the last time she was here.   She shook her  head  of the memory and knocked  on the door.

“Come in.”  He yelled  sounding  annoyed.

She  opened the door and  as soon as he saw her his expression softened.

“Clara.”  He said, clearly  surprised  to see her.

“Do you have time to talk?”  She asked trying to sound business like.

“ Absolutely.”  He closed his lap top and Clara couldn't help but notice that his tone had changed from annoyance to  hopefulness.  “Please have a seat.”

She took a seat in front of his desk  and suddenly was unsure of what she wanted to say.   She was still so angry with him,  but she didn't realize how much she missed him until this moment.   They stared at each other , neither knowing what to say.

“Clara,” the Doctor finally said, “I know that saying sorry isn't enough for what I've done, but I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am.”

“Sorry that you got caught, or sorry that you hurt me?”   She asked her voice full of disdain.

“ I am  so  sorry I hurt you and I'm sorry that Rose got caught in the middle.”

“That's funny because I thought I was the one that came in between the two of you.”

The Doctor looked down at his desk almost as if he didn't want to look Clara in the eye.   “I should have never asked  her  to marry me.”

“Then why did you and when did you?  I just have so many questions and I don’t even know where to begin.”  Clara replied exasperated.

“How about I  start  at the beginning?  I’m not saying that anything I am about to tell you justifies what I did, but it’s what led me to where we are today.”  He offered.

“Fine.”  Clara said as she sat back in her chair and crossed her arms.

“As you know, I met Rose in a pub.  And before you think it, it was nothing like how we met.”  He clearly had seen the look Clara gave him.  “She started talking to me and sure I thought she was pretty, but she just didn’t seem my type.  But then I kept seeing her there and she kept talking to me until eventually after one night of too many drinks, we slept together.”

“Well that part sounds like us.”  Clara added.

“Perhaps, but believe me it wasn’t.”  He replied.

“Sure.”  She said, doubting him.

“Anyway, I wasn’t really interested in having a relationship, mostly because I’ve never considered myself to be the kind of man who wanted to settle down.  I liked the idea of being free to do what I want, when I want and not having to account to anyone.”

“Clearly.”  Clara interrupted  and the Doctor sighed before he continued .

“But that being said, I’m also a man who enjoys the company of women so I wasn’t a stranger to one-night stands.  Rose told me she wasn’t interested in a relationship either and that she was fine if we just kept it casual.  I wasn’t sure, but I found myself gravitating to her on nights that I didn’t want to be alone and she did the same.  Before we knew it, those nights were becoming a regular thing.  We never talked about what we meant to the other and I just assumed that this would be the normal for us.  She would have her life; I would have mine and from time to time we would bring those lives together.”

That certainly did sound like Rose and sounded like the same story she got from her, albeit the Doctor was giving her more details.  Clara let him continue without interrupting.

“Then one day she told me about this offer she got in London and that she was going to take it.  I was angry and I wasn’t entirely sure why because we weren’t really committed to each other, but I guess part of me felt that she should have talked to me about it.  We fought and I walked out telling her to enjoy London.  I really thought that was it for us, but then the department chair at U of L contacted me about an opportunity that he thought would be perfect for me.  I didn’t want to move, but I thought there was no harm in checking it out because the course they wanted me to teach sounded really interesting.  I was in London for that meeting when I met you.”

“So, you weren’t with Rose at that time?”  Clara asked.

“No.  Believe me when I say it wasn’t my intention to take you back to my hotel that night, but after spending the evening talking with you, I felt something I hadn’t felt in a very long time.  We talked as if we had known each other forever and shared so much in common, that when we kissed, I couldn’t stop at just that.  It wasn’t until I came out of the shower and saw that you were gone that I realized I had never asked your name and I felt like a first class  pillock .  I wish that I had gotten your note because I can honestly say that we wouldn’t be in this mess right now if I had.  I even went back to the pub that night hoping that maybe you would be there again, but of course you weren’t.”

“I went back a few days later.”  Clara said quietly.

“We have nothing but bad timing.”  The Doctor replied looking at her with sad eyes.  “I spent my train ride to Glasgow, thinking about how I was never going to see you again and how cruel the universe was for giving you to me for only one night.  Then I realized that I had never met a woman before that had made me feel like I wanted something more.  You had made me feel that, but you were gone.  So, then I started thinking that maybe the universe gave me you, so that I could see that.  So that I could see that it was possible for me to want a relationship.  That there was more to life than just thinking about myself and my needs and how it might feel to have someone to share my life with.  And maybe that person was Rose.  By  the  time I got home, I had completely convinced myself of that and went to see her and I hadn’t intended to propose to her, but I did and she said yes.  Which surprised me, but made me happy.  And it was all good, until I walked into my first lecture and saw you sitting there.  My impossible girl.”

Clara had no idea how to feel.  She was the reason everyone was in this mess, all because she panicked and ran away after their one-night stand.   If only she had stayed.  But none of this changes the fact that he still decided to cheat.

“So, if I was so special, why didn’t you end it with Rose when you saw me again?”  Clara asked.

“Because I didn’t know what your intentions were.  You had said that you didn’t want to stay here, that your heart wanted to travel.  I was trying to stop being so impetuous, that I wasn’t going to make the same mistakes I had in the past.”

“ But  you had ample opportunity to tell me you were taken all the times we talked about how we couldn’t be together.  If you had done that, I would have never pushed the way that I did and I certainly would have never invited you to my flat after the concert .  I thought the reason you were so conflicted was because of your job!”   Clara  said angrily .

“I was.”  He answered desperately.  “But I was more conflicted because of Rose.”  He said quietly.

“Exactly!  I was such an idiot!  My gut told me there was more to it, but I didn’t want to listen to it.  I convinced myself that it was just your career, but this was way worse than that!”

“You’re not an idiot, Clara!  Far from it.  This is all my fault.”

“Damn right it is!”  She yelled.

“You’re right.  And I can't change the decisions I made.  I tried to stay away, but I just couldn’t, no matter how hard I tried I would always find myself being drawn to you .  I should have just dropped you off after the concert, but I just wanted to be with you so badly it hurt.”

“ And your selfishness  put me in a horrible position with one of my best friends.” 

“I had no way of knowing you were friends.”  He replied.

“Of course not, because for whatever reason you have a different name with her !  What the hell is  the deal with that anyway?”

“When I was in my graduate year of studies people began calling me the Doctor.  For some reason it stuck and I didn't mind it. But when I met Rose, she didn't want to call me that, nor did she want to use John, so I told her that my family had always called me by my middle name, Allan, to distinguish between my dad and I.”  He answered.  “I guess I know now why she didn't want to call me John.  Too much of a reminder of JD.”

At the mention of JD’s name, Clara was reminded of her conversation with Rose.

“ And where  do you and Rose stand right now?”  Clara asked.

“She ended it last night.”  He stated.  “She asked me if I was cheating and I admitted what I should have a long time ago.”

“You didn’t tell her it who you cheated with?”  

“No, she doesn’t need to know who, just that I did.  You’re innocent in all of this and there’s no need to cause any more hurt than what I already have.”  He said, he got up and moved to the chair next to the one she was sitting in.  “I know you don’t want to hear this, but I will not let you leave this room today without saying it.  I have fallen in love with you and I realized it the night that we made love on that couch.”

Clara just stared at him, feeling so lost and conflicted.

“And if I hadn’t shown up for dinner that night, what would have happened?”

“I was going to end it with Rose the next day.”

“And you would have continued to lie to me.”  She said quietly.

“I wouldn’t have been lying to you.  I would have been free.”  He said and she could hear the desperation returning to his voice.

“But you had been lying to me and by just breaking up with Rose and not telling me the truth means that you would have gotten away with it.”  Clara said starting to get angry  again.   “And even after I found out, you stayed with Rose until last night.”

“Clara, please.”

“No, you’re just a coward who is afraid of being alone.”

Clara stood up and moved towards the door.  She couldn’t stay here any longer because the wounds that had started to heal were opening back up again.

“Please don’t go.”  He begged as he followed her to the door.

“I have to.”  She looked at him and knew that this was for the best.  “You broke my trust and I can’t be with you if I don’t trust you.  And you did more than just break my trust, you tore my heart out of my chest because everything that you felt, I felt too.  I pushed for us because no man had ever made me feel the way you did.”

“We can work this out !”   He  implored.

“ No,  we  can’t .”  She sighed and looked at him trying to fight back tears, but couldn’t stop one from falling down her cheek.  

“Goodbye, John.”  She said as she walked out of his office, not sure if she would ever see him again.


	19. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say thank you to everyone who read this story and gave me feedback. I appreciate all the love and support that has come my way. Now for the end...

“Amy!  I think the baby needs to be changed.”  Clara yelled from the living room.

“Well feel free to change her!”  Amy yelled back.  “I’m busy making us lunch!”

Clara looked at her niece and sighed.  She loved the little girl, but the idea of changing a dirty nappy made her want to vomit.  She stood up and took the baby to the nursery, knowing that despite how she felt about it, it would be a help to Amy.  

It had been six months since Clara’s life had fallen apart, and she had been doing very well at putting it back together, mostly with the help of Amy, Rory and their new baby, Charlotte.  The baby arrived in early February and instantly became a huge distraction for Clara.  As soon as she held her in her arms, she fell in love with the little bundle and decided right there that she was going to stay in London.  She wanted to be a part of her life and wanted to be the best aunt she could, since neither Amy or Rory had siblings.  Once she made that decision, she started focusing on finishing school and what kind of career she wanted.  She also began doing volunteer work to help gain some experience, knowing she would need it for when the time came to start applying for jobs.  

All of these things helped keep her mind off of the Doctor.  She didn’t speak to him again after the day she said goodbye to him.  She couldn’t.  Sure, she had seen him on campus, but always from a distance and when she did her heart would always betray her and skip a beat.  She missed him, the connection they had, the laughs they had, all of it, but she just couldn’t trust him.  She needed this time too, to help put things into perspective for herself.  She knew she ran away from London because she couldn’t deal with the pain of losing her mum, but what she didn’t realize that it had just become easier to run instead of facing her issue head on.  After everything with the Doctor, she wanted to take off again, and she was going to, until she realized what she was doing and that she was never going to have a future if she constantly ran from it.  She was a stronger woman now, than if she had just jumped into a relationship with the Doctor, and for that she was grateful for what happened.  She wasn’t angry with him anymore and she was over the sadness of it all.  Learn and move on.  This was her new outlook on life.

Rose never did learn the truth about her and the Doctor.  He had been right about that, there had been enough hurt and there was no need to cause her more pain, especially since she was doing so well after the Doctor moved out.  She made a point of seeing Amy and Clara more often and had even started seeing more of JD.  They weren’t officially a couple, but they were working towards that, slowly. 

“Alright, this child smells much better now.”  Clara said as she walked into the kitchen and handed Charlotte to Amy.

“Thanks.  I really appreciate that.”

“I would say any time, but I wouldn’t really mean  it .”  Clara said as she grabbed the plates and started dishing the food .

Once lunch was over, Clara left to head home and work on her resume for a job she saw that morning.  As she was walking down the street, she noticed the record shop was having a sale and decided to go in and see what they had.  She was busy digging in the punk section  and  didn’t notice the shop door open.

“I should have known you’d be into punk.”  A voice she hadn’t heard in months said from behind her.  A voice that still had the ability to make her heart jump and her stomach flip.

“Yeah, and why’s that?”  She questioned back, knowing the reply she was going to get would be the same one she got many months ago.

“You have a feisty, angry personality.”  The Doctor said.

“I guess you would know that first hand wouldn’t you.”  She replied, still not turning around.

“I guess I would.”  He answered as he stood beside her and started flipping through records.

She didn’t say anything.  She didn’t know what to say.  They stood there, side by side, flipping through albums until the Doctor pulled one out.

“You should get this.”  He said, handing her the Ramones album he had told her not to get the first time they were in this shop.

She turned and looked at him for the first time and damn if he didn’t look good.  His hair was a little shorter and he had grown some scruff, but he still had the same glasses and was wearing a Bowie t-shirt along with a pair of jeans and doc martin boots.  She kept her expression neutral and took the album from him.

“Thanks.”  She replied and turned back to the albums.

She could feel his eyes on her for a bit until he turned back and continued searching.  They moved around the store this way, much like they had before, not talking, except for the occasional comment about a band or artist.  Eventually they both moved to the cash and when they finished paying, walked out of the store together.

Once they were outside the Doctor handed her a bag.

“What’s this?”  She asked as she took it.

“I want you to have that.”  He said sounding very remorseful. 

“I can’t take this.”  She said as she tried to hand it back to him.

“No, please, I really want you to have it.”   He insisted.

She opened the bag and looked  in  to see what it was, and smiled seeing that it was Sinatra.

“I told you that album meant a lot to me and that hasn’t been truer than these past few months.  I know that I have destroyed any chance of us being together, but I would really like to try and be friends.”

Clara didn’t know what to say.   She missed him, but no one had ever hurt her the way he did.  She stared at the album and remembered when they had listened to it in his office and then she remembered the conversations they had had.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea. ”  She replied.  “I feel like I really don’t know you.  Like the man I thought I knew was all a lie.”

“I understand that and I know that it’s difficult for you to believe me when I say I'm not really that man.   Please, just let me take you for coffee.   Just one coffee and nothing more, I promise.”   He gave her the saddest eyes. 

Could they just be friends?  She would be lying to herself if she said she wasn’t still attracted to him, but the feelings she had once felt for him had changed.  She just couldn’t forget what he did to both her and Rose, but there was a small part of her that missed him.

“Please?”  He  insisted , desperate ly  yearning  for her to respond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So again I say thank you for not hating me as much as I thought everyone would with this story. I wanted to write something that was a bit different from what I normally read about with these 2 characters. I leave you to decided what happened from this point on, but not for long. 
> 
> This may be the end of this story, but there is more that needs to be discovered. More answers, more revalations. A sequel is in the works and as soon as I am finished writing I will begin to post again. I hope that you all will subscribe and follow me on a longer journey with these character. Thanks!


	20. Update

Hi everyone!

Thanks so much for reading Impetuous Desire.  Your feedback and responses have been amazing and fuelled me throughout writing the sequel.  So if you would like to continue the adventure,  click the link below and find out what happened next. 

[Unyielding Desire ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19043800/chapters/45232726)


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